How much to share with boss

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 11:16 pm

Hi everyone,

How much do you share with your boss when you need to take off?
If I’m taking an extending vacation, I’ll definitely say that it’s for vacation.
The uncomfortable part is when I have a drs appointment or something else private. Do you just say that you need to be out and give no explanation?
For example, I am bH expecting and didn’t feel my baby for over 24 hrs. My Dr told me about an hour before work was over that I should go to the hospital asap for monitoring (bH everything is ok). So I just got up and left and told my immediate coworkers that I had to leave early. Would you let your boss know in the morning why you left or just leave it and make up the hours on your own?
I have an ob appointment next week in the morning and will be an hour late. Would you share or just let them know your going to be an hour late?

It’s none of his business but at the same time I don’t want him thinking that I’m slacking off.

I work in a semi professional environment. We are about 20 ppl in total. Overall, there is a professional environment among coworkers. My boss definitely overshares about his life…

amother

Celeste

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 12:15 am

I agree w a diff poster that I share when I can so I don't have to share when I don't want to.

Story: I asked my boss for an off day to drive to an appointment in another city. I specifically didn't detail because I didn't think it was his business and he responded.. well I don't like to ask but when I hear appointment I get nervous that everything is ok. Rolling Eyes

I was like ok so basically you are asking and yes it's none of your business.. keep your concerns to yourself

amother

Amber

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 12:25 am

It may be a different setup at your office, but in the company my husband and I own, if someone leaves an hour early, that’s totally fine, but I feel that it’s nice to just give the boss a heads up and say you had an appointment or something urgent came up, no need to give any other details.

We have employees who in the morning before work will just abruptly text “I’m not coming in today”. Then the next day will maybe maybe text “I’m sick, not coming today”. Then the next two days just not show up. Their thought process is, the boss knows I’m sick, no need to update once each day if I’m coming, I’ll show up when I show up. I think it’s courtesy to just always let the boss know when your work schedule is going to change one day, especially if working in a small office and your absence means some of the workload won’t get done that day . Again, I agree it’s not necessary for your boss to know all the details, but a basic “have an appointment/something urgent came up” I don’t think is too much.

I know my husband and I have no interest in prying to find out more details. I’m sure there are some bosses who do want to pry though and that’s not right .

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 12:30 am

Anything you share can and will be held against you. Your boss is not your friend, he is after the bottom line. Share chit chat stuff, weather, sports, and only the minimum. You are under no obligation to share why you have to leave. You dont have to share personal or health related stuff.

zaq

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 12:49 am

Because we have to classify our time off, I say I have a healthcare appointment when claiming sick leave. Boss has no business knowing what kind of healthcare. For anything else I ask for annual leave or personal leave. No need to tell the boss what my plans are. Not his biz if I'm going to Venice or to vacuum or to velger around.

synthy

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 12:50 am

It depends on your position and company dynamics. If someone needs to cover for you while you’re out or coworkers will try to reach you definitely let him know that you’ll be late, but if you’re just doing your own thing than I wouldn’t bother.

We always say “I have an appointment”. It doesn’t mean anything personal, it could be a doctors visit, dentist, kids sick visit, even a shaitel appointment. Yes ideally you shouldn’t schedule any of these during work hours but if you work ft you don’t always have a chance. Life has to go on.

amother

Smokey

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:02 am

amother OP wrote:

So interesting that I see this. I am working for over 10 years. I always thought I owed my boss a reason- nothing too personal, but either like, I have an appointment, I woke up with high fever, etc. Was I oversharing?
If I am a mother of a few kids bh, how often would you say is reasonable to miss work- not a full day but to leave at some point to take care of an appointment?
I work every day so it's not really possible to schedule on "days off".

essie14

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 2:02 am

If you're a responsible employee, by saying "I have an appointment, something urgent came up" no one will think you're going to get your legs waxed.
I don't offer details. If I'm sick, I'll say,"not feeling well today, won't make it in"
And every day that I'm still sick I will provide an update. If I can work remotely, that can be a compromise.
If it's something like the flu that really needs 5 days to recover, I'll say that to manage expectations, ie: I really can't work from home and I really need the extra sick day.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 4:33 am

I'm in management at work. If people just leave early or come late or don't show up and don't expalin, it makes a bad impression. But we really don't need details.

- I have a medical appt (no need to explain what specialty or for what reason, or if it is an emergency appt or if you made it three months ago. Can cover everything from a real dr appt, dentist, therapist, speech therapy for your kid, etc.).
- I apologize, a sudden personal emergency came up and I will need to leave early (no details about the type of emergency necessary, can be for medical emergency, kid got sick at school, etc)
- I need to take a sick day today (if you or your child is sick. No need to explain you're having pregnancy issues or what the illness is or whatever)

I sometimes ask if everything is ok, but that is because I care, not because I am prying for details.

If you do want to give your boss a little more information, that is ok too. Your kid has to go to the dentist, you have a stomach virus, an appointment suddenly opened up to renew your passport, your kid has a fever, whatever, those things are fine too.

Best is to let us know in advance if possible, and if it is is something urgent or unexpected to just tell us what to expect (I have to leave now for a personal emergency, I won't be able to work today but hopefully will be back tomorrow and will update you if that changes. Or I'm out sick today, I hope to be back later this week and I will let you know when I am better and coming in or if I am working from home or not).

amother

Stone

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 5:26 am

My boss is very understanding and flexible. For hashkfic reasons I just would not give personal details, since he's a man and I'm. Woman.

So I'd be clear but vague, I have an appointment, an emergency came up etc. I need to take a sick day etc,

During pregnancy I'm high risk and have lots of appointments and things come up so I am clear that when I share I'm pregnant I'm high risk, and I have extra appointments and often trips to the ER/Hospital so my boss is aware.

Context also matters, my boss is a frum man who lives in my neighborhood with young kids like me, if I tell him a kid a sick he will ask after how they are doing, his wife comes into the office sometimes and shmoozes with us, if I tell him a medical emergency came up he would gently ask a few days afterwards if everything is ok/resolved without asking for details.

amother

Mintgreen

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 5:33 am

I’m in management, definitely agree with the other bosses and managers.

I really don’t care about your personal life but you are expected to let me know if you’ll be late, leave early, or take off. If you do give a reason, even it’s vague, I’m more likely to be understanding.

I have an employee who has been consistently late since the day she started but I looked the other way because she’s excellent in other areas. Within the last year she cut her hours and has not been sticking to them, leaving early with no notice, etc. Now, as much as I hate doing it, my boss is demanding I watch the clock because she is working so few hours. If I only knew if there was a reason I could make a case for her to the boss but at the rate she’s going I’m resentful that I have to fill in for her and he’s resentful that he’s paying her for time she’s not putting in. Just showing you the other side.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 6:28 am

amother Mintgreen wrote:

Why would you need to be in a position to make a case? She knows whats going on, she doesnt expect to get paid for time not put in. Eventually this will come to a head. Stay outta it. Your boss is just doing his job asking you to watch the clock and you are only doing your job as well. If this employee is going through something and wants to ask for some consideration, thats on her. The leaving early with no notice, is chutzpah if you ask me. I assume she has a good reason, and she should take the initiative to talk to the boss. Its called "coordinating expectations".