Has anyone adopted an infant with Down Syndrome

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:10 pm

amother Mistyrose wrote:

I don't have personal experience.

I've been under the impression that many of those "adoptions" are actually foster children, meaning the bio parents are still I volved with medical decisions, are involved if the child is hospitalized etc. And the foster parents receive a stipend & respite etc.

Also, many of those children do end up placed in group homes as adults just like those who are raised by their biological families. It can take years for a slot to be available but it's oftentimes a great way for them to live & the parents don't need to care for them in their old age.

I would actually prefer to foster if anyone is aware of an organization that does this. The one that I was put in touch with only does adoption.

amother

Stone

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:22 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm in America. How was it for you as a sibling? Was the child close in age to your other siblings? Where is he/she now?
Thank you so much

Depends on who you ask. Some siblings were happier than others with the setup.
I am very close in age to her, and we were also emotionally very close. We were brought up together mamash.
Unfortunately, over the last couple of decades, we've become less close because we no longer live in the same country, and I have a family of my own (and am just not very good at keeping in touch with anyone, to be honest).
She is now living in a kind of assisted living facility with young adults with all different kinds of disabilities. It is not the religious standard my parents would have wished for, but they don't have many choices where we live. She is very, very happy there.
People have to be very careful - I feel blessed to have had a sibling with DS in my life but the 'cute period' is in childhood. It can be very challenging at all points, but people forget that people with DS also become (less cute) adults. I still adore her. We actually all do (I think for some siblings, it was easier once we moved out and had our own families). And we all visit her when we're in the country, and some are better than others at being in touch. It definitely took a toll on my parents, but honestly, it's hard to say precisely because they adopted other children with special needs, too, and I think the later kids were even harder for my parents.
She brought and stil brings a lot of light to our lives. She is quite low-functioning. I think, also, that she was very affected by the very strict household we were raised in (for the worse).
Adopting a child with DS is not (and should not be) an easy decision to make. They deserve a warm, loving, strong house. My parents were always her fiercest advocates. They must have a lot of zchuyot for the best they did for her and our other sn siblings but people considering adoption need to ask themselves if they truly have the strength to do this for decades. And if they are, in general, good parents before adding more children to the mix.