If a poster goes AWOL

amother

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:18 am

Do you pm them?
Isn't it a breach of privacy/yentish, like oh why aren't you posting on here anymore/as much?
There are some posters who are not or barely around anymore and I feel stupid pming them.
Thoughts?
And if you do pm them what do you write?

ftm1234

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:20 am

I don't think it's a good idea to reach out to strangers, no matter how active they used to be.

If I stopped posting I wouldn't want anyone to ask me about it.

amother

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:21 am

ftm1234 wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to reach out to strangers, no matter how active they used to be.

If I stopped posting I wouldn't want anyone to ask me about it.

That's what I thought.
Otoh it would feel good to hear I'm missed.

amother

Wine

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:22 am

I would not appreciate it, if someone stopped posting (or just started posting anon) that is their business. I would feel it was a breech of privacy to an extent

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:25 am

amother OP wrote:

That's what I thought.
Otoh it would feel good to hear I'm missed.

I would appreciate hearing that people value my input and then decide if I want to respond to the Pm or not.
You can reach out to tell her how much you appreciate her take on whatever and see if she's interested in continuing the conversation with you.

amother

Bisque

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:27 am

Only if we had had a PM correspondence for a long time so that we had established a somewhat personal relationship (as personal as it can be when you're both using pseudonyms).

watergirl

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:27 am

amother Wine wrote:

I would not appreciate it, if someone stopped posting (or just started posting anon) that is their business. I would feel it was a breech of privacy to an extent

I'm not sure why it's a breech of privacy to send someone a well meaning PM that says I miss you and I hope you are well. Even asking where are you, the person has no requirement to answer. Is it nosey to ask why they left? Sure. But you can ignore it. No privacy breeched. This site has PMs as an option, you can close your account if you want no PMs.

OP, if you really care about someone and are thinking of her, sending her a PM just to say hi, I hope you are ok - that's a nice thing to do. But don't ask where she is etc.

Cookin4days

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:27 am

I don’t think it’s a breach of privacy to check up on a fellow member, just do it respectfully and say I miss you hope everything is OK

amother

Cobalt

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:29 am

watergirl wrote:

This. I totally agree.
If I was thay poster, I would feel good knowing other thought about me and miss me.

amother

Bisque

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:33 am

Let me be "that" person. It's not AWOL (Absent Without Leave) because no one needs permission to stop posting. It's MIA (Missing in Action), which means they were in the arena and you don't know what happened to them.

amother

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 11:35 am

amother Bisque wrote:

I know it's not correct terminology.
MIA sounds too severe. Like someone died.

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 12:19 pm

I think it's quite common for people to take a break, have enough on in their personal life or just simply had enough of imamother for a while.
I personally was always most active on here postpartum when I was nursing and had too much time.
Most people probably won't mind if someone sends them a PM, but may choose not to respond or engage.

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 12:44 pm

If I were really concerned about a prolific poster who stopped abruptly without any kind of message saying my life has become busy, I might become concerned about what might have happened.

I think the protocol is to contact Yael to ask her if she can make sure the poster is okay. As I recall this has occurred a few times with posters who just abruptly vanished.