Help! Terrible Twos!!!!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 9:31 pm

Ds turned two yesterday and he is definately acting his age. He is always getting into trouble, going from one thing to the next. I can't keep up with him and feel like I am losing control!! Today in particular was a really exhausting day!

He unpacked all cabinets, crawled onto the tables and grabbed off stuff, threw a car on my baby's head, opened a kitchen drawer and took out a knife, threw down his supper plate, dumped out the dirty laundry from the hamper, turned over the garbage etc...

Any advice PLEASE...I tried time out, hitting, yelling, playing with him, involving him in my work!!!

amother

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:03 pm

Advice PLEASE!!!!

Alef Bais

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:10 pm

He sounds like my little boy (who isn't turning two for another 2 weeks)!! When my oldest was 2, I started him in a playgroup at 2 1/2 and it was the best thing I ever did for him. He needed an outlet and I needed a breather.

Twizzlers

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:15 pm

ditto to the playgroup idea. I also recommend reading the book Setting Limits for your Strong Willed Child. it gives many good ideas on how to handle these types of things, and I put alot of them into practice with my 2.5 year old

amother

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:27 pm

Twizzlers wrote:

Such a book sounds great. any idea where I can get it?
TIA

IWS

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:36 pm

I hate the stage of the terrible twos. First, I would baby proof the house so he cannot get into anything that you don't want him getting into. Child locks are a couple of bucks but your sanity is priceless! playgroup is great idea if you can afford it. Otherwise, take him on a walk once a day and set aside some time every so often so he feels like he is getting mommy time.

mummiedearest

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:48 pm

definitely baby proof. I have a gate up so they can't get into my kitchen without my say-so. that will keep your sanity level significantly higher.

throwing plate--

take it away calmly and remove child from the table/booster/high chair. "food is for eating, not for playing. go play with your toys."

throwing car at baby--

take away toy. "you cannot have the toy if you throw it."
I make my older toddler kiss his sister and say he's sorry and he loves her if he hurts her. he doesn't understand it, but I think it's a good habit to get into.

laundry--

keep it in your bedroom behind closed doors. or get a laundry bag with handles and hang it on a hook above his reach. that way you can add to it and he can't dump it.

garbage--

keep in the kitchen. behind a good gate. make sure not to install the gate more than 3 inches above the ground. we forgot about that when we moved in, and my son figured out how to slither under the gate. not fun.

also, include him in whatever household chores you can. kids that age love helping with some things. I had my 15 month old help me clean the dining room floor. I sprayed diluted vinegar and gave her a scrubbie. she had a great time and my floor got somewhat cleaner (I did a proper mopping when she was asleep, but I got their lunch residue off the floor with her helping). it'll keep him busy. you can put a sock over his hand and teach him to dust. that's fun too.

Twizzlers

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:51 pm

amother wrote:

Twizzlers wrote:

Such a book sounds great. any idea where I can get it?
TIA

my sons speech therapist lent it to me so I'm not sure...maybe check the brooklyn public library?
oh, and I also ditto all of mummiedearest's suggestions; I had absolutely no problem going to the bathroom and leaving the toddler alone in other areas of the house. we were/are completely babyproofed. other that knocking his head against the wall, its hard to get into too much trouble.

amother

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 9:34 pm

Thanks for the ideas. I will definately try to get the book that twizzler suggested.
As for baby proofing, I have locks on all bottom cabinets for quite a while, he just recently got more sophisticated with getting to top cabinets and drawers and onto the kitchen and dining room table.

mummiedearest, thanks for your specific suggestions. I'll have to give it a try. I just get so frustrated with trying to nurse the baby and handle him at the same time that I just end up yelling. As for taking away toys and his plate, he starts acting up and crying that I give in just to get him to quiet down.

mummiedearest

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:17 pm

giving in to a toddler when he tantrums is going to make it way worse for you. if you feel you're going to give in, leave the room. seriously. I used to tell my son that he could stay right there and cry as much as he wanted, and I would come talk to him when he was calm again. by now I just go to another room (he can still see me). he screams as much as he needs to. after about five minutes I try to talk to him calmly. sometimes I can distract him, sometimes I have to address what he's crying about. eventually he calms down.

find yourself a song to sing, in your head or out loud, while he's tantrumming. you need a distraction too. and make sure to take the baby with you if you leave the room. you can always sing to the baby.

also, be aware that tantrumming is often a bid for attention. if you pay extra attention to the baby while he's screaming, eventually he will learn that screaming = less attention.

you really have to know what makes your kid tick. if it's an attention thing, address it as such. if it's just two-year-old mentality, try to deal with it calmly. I try to remind myself how two-year-olds think. for instance, if you say to your son, "mommy's going to fix dinner now. you play nicely in here, ok?" you are asking for trouble. to a two-year-old, the "ok?" is a legitimate question, so he will likely say, "no." to him that is appropriate. mommy asks if you want to do this, you say no. it's not fair to get mad at him for that. so instead, say, "mommy is going to fix dinner now. it's time for you to play quietly with your blocks." don't give him any legal loopholes. don't turn statements into questions.

my son just became a professional ignorer. if anyone has advice on how to get your two-year-old to acknowledge you, please let me know. I think I prefer the tantrums... I guess he's figured out all my tricks by now.

octopus

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:21 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

my son just became a professional ignorer. if anyone has advice on how to get your two-year-old to acknowledge you, please let me know. I think I prefer the tantrums... I guess he's figured out all my tricks by now.

It seems that whenever a method finally works on your kid, they switch tactics. Confused

dainty diva

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:29 pm

Can I join your misery of terrible twos?

1)spilled a jar of sour pickles on the top shelf of the fridge, the juice pouring down through the fruit drawers;

2)hair gelled her entire hair

3)smeared pancake syrup on a kitchen chair

4)took out a bekele apple kugel from fridge, ate up two slices, that was reserved for Shabbos and Purim

5)hit the baby

6)spilled her milk that she insisted I give her in a regular cup versus the sippy cup I wanted to give it to her in.

There is more, it will be suffice for now...

mummiedearest

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:31 pm

yup. I try to get underwear/diaper on the kid... he decides to play with a toy while I attempt to pry one foot off the floor. "bend your knee, sweetie. kiddo, I need you to lift your foot. hello? hello? look at mommy. mommy's over here. can you look at mommy and listen for a minute? ok, I'm going to lift your foot by myself."

sigh. he fell down twice so far due to this routine. he'll bend one knee to help me out, but decides to ignore me about the second. then he's surprised when he loses his balance.

octopus

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:37 pm

I'm having major issues with my ds hitting dd. or him trying to step on her. He won't let her touch any of his toys (mummiedearest, you know about that one Wink

). Other than that, he is a darling angel. He could shmear whatever in his hair- that doesn't get to me. He can spill a whole bottle out- that doesn't get to me. He tries to step on dd when she is crawling around- and I flip out.

mummiedearest

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:40 pm

yup, sonny boy started hitting his sister fairly recently. he mostly doesn't, but when the urge to hit comes, yikes. I'm going to have to teach her to hit back, there's only so much I can do discipline wise.

mummiedearest

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:48 pm

dainty diva wrote:

sorry, dainty diva, didn't see you there.

sounds like yours is a fun one. as I said, I don't let my kids in the kitchen without supervision. I'm also fortunate enough to have a tall side by side fridge. the thing only opens if you pull the handle from a certain height, so my kids haven't figured it out yet Smile

I'm pretty sure they sell fridge locks. you might think about getting one...

I usually insist my son sit down with his regular cups, but lately if he spills it's mostly on his shirt. then he gets upset and sits down. amazing how that works.

goodness, hair gel? did you take pics? I have a great shot of my son with a snowstrom of couscous in his curls. mess pictures are the best.

say, who wants a terrible twos meet? they can have a scream fest together!

RightOnTarget

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:49 pm

BTW, how do you put child locks on furniture drawers like on the china closet or bedroom furniture.

RightOnTarget

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:50 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

say, who wants a terrible twos meet? they can have a scream fest together!

I'm all for it!

mummiedearest

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:52 pm

ok, new thread here we come...

mummiedearest

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:53 pm

RightOnTarget wrote:

BTW, how do you put child locks on furniture drawers like on the china closet or bedroom furniture.

they have little latches that go inside the drawer. also, they started making these magnetic locks that don't require drilling to install. more expensive, but maybe worth it.

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