We were broken into. Could they be traumatized?

amother

Mon, May 11 2009, 4:24 pm

We were out yesterday evening and when we came home, we found our home had been burgled. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 16 month old. It didn't/doesn't seem that they have any idea as to what happened. Police came, but they have no idea who they are and we always have strangers coming in and out. However, I was in a bit of a state but tried to stay calm although my older one asked a couple of times, "Mommy, what's da matter?"

Some friends came over to distract the kids while we dealt with the police and they seemed fine. They had a very late night because of all this. The baby slept for about 4 hrs and then would not go back to bed. She screamed, and screamed to the point that I was afraid someone was in her room. embarrassed

I kept going in, rocking her, etc but she only settled when I brought her to my bed.

Today, my older one refused to take a nap in her room. She fell asleep on the couch and my Dh transfered her. Tonight, she settled in her crib and 2 minutes later was screaming. She wanted to sleep on the bed. We moved the beds together, made it secure and tucked her in. She screamed again. She refused to go to sleep without Dh or myself laying next to her. (There were dogs barking, but that's never bothered her before)

So, my question is, after this long post: Do you think my fear has been "passed on" to the kids or is it just a coincidence? What do I do if this continues? Therapy for such little kids? Does it even exist?

(I know some of you know who I am but I prefer to stay anonymous for those who don't. Thank you!)

cookielady

Mon, May 11 2009, 4:27 pm

Could it be that the kids are picking up on your feelings. (I am sure it would be hard for them not to). I think time and you trying to not come across and super worried, jumping at every noise etc hopefully will help.

The reality is that it is very disturbing, but they are young enough (I would think) that they shouldn't be distressed by it long term.

bubby

Mon, May 11 2009, 8:06 pm

Sing to them, read a story, have quiet time before bed. Hug them, maybe leave the door open a notch so they can hear you. Give them a favorite toy or book to keep in bed. Keep some Uncle Moishe softly playing on the CD player. Maybe a nightlight. And you have to be very calm too.

sneakermom

Thu, May 14 2009, 10:35 am

I think it is a normal reaction on their part. Everybody sort of got a shock. Maybe their shock was more seeing your distress and the disarray of the house. In any case give them and yourself two weeks to calmly get over it. I would suggest spending a little more time on the floor with your two and half year old, and play with her. This is very therapeutic for kids. Just enjoy getting involved with his favorite toy and playing the way she likes to play. This will give her a chance to express any anxiety she might be having through the most natural medium for her, play! Even if she doesn't so much as broach the subject, she is still getting tons out of it. With your little one, during the day spend a little more time holding the baby, and cuddling. And then focus on the usual routine. Keep things normal. Finally tune into your own frazzled nerves, get yourself a manicure or something, whatever it is you do to relax. Ultimately you will all get through this together as a family. Thank your lucky stars your little ones didn't see the robbers. That might have been a problem. This is still easy to deal with in comparison.

louche

Thu, May 14 2009, 10:56 am

You're the one traumatized; the kids are too young to really "get" what happened and why it's bad. They're simply picking up on your fear and tension, and therapy is not in order for them. Counseling for you, maybe, if after a couple of weeks you haven't calmed down. meanwhile use whatever methods work to relax yourself and calm down so you don't continue giving off these frightened vibes.