This is why rules were NOT meant to be broken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Forum -> Children's Health -> Allergies

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Marion

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 6:04 am

To clarify:

There is a DO NOT SEND FOOD TO DAYCARE rule. The daycare provides breakfast, lunch, and snack. There are also petitbeurre biscuits/animal crackers in every classroom that the kids definitely nosh on in the mornings before breakfast.

There is no reason to send food for later. The only time food is sent "for later" is in closed bags for birthday parties. The kids do not help themselves, the snacks are distributed. Bamba and Bissli are banned from birthday parties (Bamba due to the allergy, Bissli due to the choking hazard).

The daycare needs to enforce the no food rule. Had they done so from the beginning parents/caregivers/bubbies/savtas would not still be sending in the ubiquitous baggie of nosh at this point in the year. Regardless, there is no good reason to send a package of Peanut M&Ms to a daycare in which you KNOW there is a peanut allergic child. Every parent in the class knows there's an allergy because of the Bamba ban. And for those who say that perhaps someone other than a parent sent it, M&Ms are choking hazards, regardless of the nut issue. Furthermore, chocolate & marshmallows have also been sighted; again, an enforcement of the no food rule would have rendered this whole thing a moot point. I have repeatedly complained about the lack of enforcement, which makes me the bad parent. (The fact that with the marshmallows it was also a kashrut issue despite the hechsher probably doesn't help.) No child needs marshmallows/chocolate/wafers/pretzels/candy before breakfast.

Yes, I've been known to send my son with food. Usually it's the banana that he finishes off before we even get there. It is always something self contained (sometimes a yogurt, maybe a piece of triangle cheese). It is never something share-able. It has happened 5 times this year. But usually I either wake him up so there's time for him to eat or if not, he just goes without breakfast until 8:30.

My son's classmate did exactly what he or she has been taught to do -- offer to share. While we do try to teach Emmanuel Tzvi not to share food it is something of an uphill battle at the moment.

Marion

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 6:05 am

I have not heard back from the menahelet, which can only mean that the morning passed uneventfully. They should have finished lunch by now and be going down for naps.

I will be raising the issue with the menahelet at the end of the day when I pick him up.

greentiger

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 6:07 am

Maybe you should also call this mother and give her a piece of your mind. I'd be fuming.

pinktichel

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 6:08 am

If there is a no food rule, then they should be inspecting backpacks. They can remove any snacks and return them as they leave. I think that's fair. Maybe you could suggest it? That would be the best way to prevent this from happening again.

HindaRochel

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 6:10 am

Marion wrote:

Baruch Hashem.

And enforcing the rule would be a good idea.
At the very least limit children who have food in where they can eat food from home.

HindaRochel

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 6:17 am

Marion wrote:

And for those who say that perhaps someone other than a parent sent it, M&Ms are choking hazards, regardless of the nut issue.

Nuts, uncut bananas, celery, carrots which aren't cut thin or cooked, hot dogs, popcorn is a big chocking hazard....
Anything tube shaped, anything that is hard and slippery, anything tough to chew.

mummy-bh

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 6:40 am

also olives, grapes and cherry tomatoes. I cut those in half for toddlers.

Raisin

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 9:38 am

this is really for older kids, but I don't send junk food to school anyway. Even if they get it as treats at home occasionally, things like m&ms shouldn't part of a kids daily diet. And its not fair on the other kids whose parents are trying to be healthy to send food like that, because then they come home and complain that "everyone" brings candy to school.

shalhevet

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 9:46 am

Marion wrote:

Marion, I hope everything is okay with ET.

However, if you broke this rule yourself - even once - that's it. Everyone will only do it once, only when they really have to, the child woke up late etc.... Just like you know you had a valid reason and it was a once-only exception, that's what this mother feels too... (even if her exception happens once a week)

Marion

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 9:54 am

I try very hard not to break the rule. And I still think there's a difference between sending a child with a single piece of cheese or 1/2 banana (prepared and started to be eaten at home) and sending a child with a bag of pretzels/marshmallows/chocolate truffles (I kid you not)/smiley cookies/wafers etc. Those are guaranteed to cause issues in the classroom. A single piece of cheese is not going to be a classroom issue.

Zahava

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 9:59 am

Marion wrote:

A single piece of cheese is not going to be a classroom issue.

Except for the kids that are highly allergic to dairy.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Having an allergic child is a round-the-clock stress. Hope he's doing well.

shalhevet

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 10:02 am

Marion wrote:

Of course you are right, and especially about peanuts when they were told there is an allergic child there.

But the point is, IMHO, you cannot complain if you broke this rule EVEN ONCE - because that is what happens: as soon as the rules are even bent a little, everyone has an emergency/ exception/ just this once/ just today because I'm running late etc etc and then (to borrow a phrase from a totally unrelated thread Wink

) the difference is only where you put the red line.

HindaRochel

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 10:04 am

Zahava wrote:

Marion wrote:

A single piece of cheese is not going to be a classroom issue.

Except for the kids that are highly allergic to dairy.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Having an allergic child is a round-the-clock stress. Hope he's doing well.

I almost goofed with this. I was preparing food for the kids in the gan, special event, and the gannenet said bli gevinah, but for some reason I thought she meant sucariah, so I spread some cheese. Luckily I thought to ask! I felt a bit sad that the kid just had bread but what could one do?

mominisrael2

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 10:08 am

Raisin wrote:

why are the kids allowed to share their food????

From listening to my kids, sometimes it sounds like the kids aren't "sharing" their food, kids just take from each other and the teachers don't do anything to stop it...my DDs come home crying at least once a week that they're hungry because a kid stole their lunch/snack...

Marion

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 10:16 am

Zahava wrote:

Marion wrote:

A single piece of cheese is not going to be a classroom issue.

Except for the kids that are highly allergic to dairy.

There aren't any this year. I asked. Do you really think, as a parent of an allergic child, that I would knowingly send him with something that would cause another child to be sick????????

Mirabelle

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 10:22 am

Wow, I am very surprised that the teacher didn't take it away as soon as she saw it. At my DD's school they are VERY strict when it comes to peanuts. Even though there is no one in her class with an allergy it is a "peanut free school." One time I actually put an oatmeal raisin granola bar in DD's lunch and I got a note back saying that they cannot have those in school because on the wrapper (in teeny writing) it says that it is made in a plant that also hasd peanuts.

Love My Babes

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 10:24 am

im sorry that this happened to your kid, and im glad it wasnt anything serious. I know a child who was highly allergic to dairy, when she was that age, as stupid as it sounds, she walked around with a pin on her shirt saying 'no dairy' or something like that. it makes it all that much easier for the teachers and parents to remember.

I guess im lucky that my daughters playgroup doesnt have that rule. I send her with pretzels or potato chips or bamba, and if the school gives peanut butter, I guess they dont have any allergic kids. BH.

I also find some of the comments here a little oblivious. why do they let sharing? never heard that question before. if u send a snack that the teacher feels is not safe for the class, she should tell you not to send it again, but I think there is no way to prevent 2 year olds from sharing. besides, at this age, thats what were trying to instill in our kids! and about waking up early. noone can know what happens in other ppls houses. especially ones with lots of kids. I have only one, and she refuses to eat anything in the morning lately. its a stage she's going through, so I end up sending her with something in a small bag so that I know she's not waiting till 12.30 to get some food into her system. and from my side, I think thats only responsible of me as a parent to make sure my 2 year old gets some food.

geemum

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 11:07 am

marion im glad it wasnt anything serious this morning and obviously you need to take steps to try to prevent a recurrence, but I think you need to calm down first before you say anything to the menahelet. I'm sure she's sorry it happened.

you mentioned that the school has a rule that the kids dont bring any food. are you sure its a rule, and not just a - we give meals so the kids don't NEED TO BRING from home?
if it is a RULE, then it should be enforced as with any other rule. that means NO-ONE can bring ANY food (allergy related or even fruit and veg) unless agreed with the morah before. you said yourself that you've sent your kid with food on occasion. perhaps its only a rule for allergy food (like peanuts, milk etc)

Thumbs Up

I like the idea of a badge on the childs top to prevent accidents happening at school or even from the park (my son went up to a non-jewish kid in the local park to ask for some food - thats a 3 year old for you)

perhaps you could write a short, polite note to all the mothers in the school (so that this offender doesn't feel attacked, although that's probably what you want to do right now Banging head

... like I said calm down first) explain your son's allergy to them all and ask them to please be extra careful not to send allergy foods with their kids. as to the serial-offender, I would ask the morah to speak to her if it happens again. or the morah should not allowed snacks.

just food ( Rolling Eyes

sorry) for thought

HindaRochel

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 11:11 am

mominisrael2 wrote:

Raisin wrote:

why are the kids allowed to share their food????

Yes, it does happen. Kids of two and three and four have the possession is nine tenths of the law idea. Also once they touched it is theirs, even (for example with a game) if they have gone away and played with something else for the last ten minutes.

little miss sunshine

Thu, Jun 04 2009, 11:22 am

people who arent in the situation meaning they x have an allergic child, just dont think about this all day. I get to any public office the first thing I do is scan everything to check no child has anything dairy.
in my sons class everyone knows he has severe daiy allergies ( if he touches, smells dairy, he stops breathing) and yet a mom send dairy ice cream for a party once. ( I knew only cuz I had to pick up my son in emergency room .....)
I called in the school and they were like we are sorry bla bla we'll see it shouldnt happen again (and it did... many times...) so he's leaving that place now in 2 weeks...

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