A little annoyed with dh

amother

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 11:42 am

When dh went to yeshiva today we agreed that he would invite up to 3 bachrim for each meal on shabbos. He just told me he invited a newlywed couple for friday night. Rolling Eyes

We recently started having guests again after the last baby was born and I still need dh's help. And he is leaving town early tomorrow morning and returning late tomorrow night. And I have a PTA meeting at the kids' school. I thought bachrim,. low key, no one to impress, easy. Instead he invites a couple, not just ant couple a newlywed couple, who have never made shabbos, and have no idea what goes into doing so. Don't know what having kids plus a new baby means. In short now I feel pressured to have things much nicer than I thought. Anyone get what I mean?

louche

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 11:55 am

Sure. But if they're newlyweds and have no idea what goes into making shabbos, they also have no idea what shabbos "should" be at someone else's house. You have just been handed a golden opportunity to influence a new generation of kallahs by showing them that Shabbat is all about companionship, spirituality and rest, NOT about the tricolor-chicken-turkey-pastrami-rollup-with-three-kugels-and-four-desserts-in-a-parashat-hashavua-theme-color-coordinated-to-your-sofa one-upmanship rat race.

Just think how relieved that lucky kallah will be, knowing that it IS possible to have a lovely Shabbat with a simple meal. If everyone she's been going to has been putting on the Ritz, imagine how intimidated she must be at the thought of making Shabbos herself!

DefyGravity

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 11:57 am

As a newlywed my expectations weren't very different then than they are now. . . most people aren't looking for a fancy shabbos dinner, they're looking for nice company.

Please. . . don't assume that people that are newly married don't know what goes into making shabbos. I had lots of guest and made shabbos all the time when I was single.

To make a long story short - don't worry. People aren't out to judge your shabbos meal, they're just happy to be invited.

Chocoholic

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 12:06 pm

You don't have to be a Bree Vandekamp, the most important things is a nice company, good food (not fancy) and plenty of it.

ShirleyTemple

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 12:21 pm

curiosity got the better of me...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bree_Van_de_Kamp

Quote:

Bree is recognized for her perfectionist attitude and work ethic,...

e1234

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 12:57 pm

if it makes you feel better.
2 weeks ago friday night dh comes home and tells me he just remembered that the week before he invited a couple over and they were coming for lunch the next day.

Now that friday I was feeling lazy (had a super busy week) and told dh I'm making easy shabbos -- no extra side dishes and kugel.
and then I find out I'm having company frida nigbht.

so at least I knew friday night and through some of the chicken and potatoes into the cholent so we'll have more . - and we ate very simply. challah from the freezer, a simple salad and some cholent.
I had no kugel or kishka and I had even forgoten to make eggs.
in the morning I did open up a few cans like corn to add to the cans of pickels and olives that I servers.
but we still enjoyed the company and I think they joined -- so it can be done simple.

Fox

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 1:57 pm

louche wrote:

NOT about the tricolor-chicken-turkey-pastrami-rollup-with-three-kugels-and-four-desserts-in-a-parashat-hashavua-theme-color-coordinated-to-your-sofa one-upmanship rat race.

What a chesed! I had a terrible headache today, and I laughed so hard at this all-too-true characterization that my headache went away! Thanks, louche! LOL

msctwg

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 2:06 pm

louche wrote:

the tricolor-chicken-turkey-pastrami-rollup-with-three-kugels-and-four-desserts-in-a-parashat-hashavua-theme-color-coordinated-to-your-sofa one-upmanship rat race.

good one1!!
I also adivse take it easy!!!!!

louche

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 2:12 pm

True confession time: I, Louche the Simplifier,* once essayed to make Tricolor Kugel for a simcha. It was....okay. That's it. OK. Looked nice, but for the same work I could have had three separate kugels to suit multiple tastes. For a lot less work I could have had one nice big kugel of one type and had enough energy left over to socialize with my guests.

* not to be confused with, and no relation to, Louche the Simple, a 15th-Century Mitteleuropean mystic who was believed by the local peasantry to be developmentally disabled as a result of her style of communication, consisting entirely of words of one syllable forming non-compound sentences.

louche

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 2:24 pm

amother wrote:

LOUCHE! PLEASE STOP!

Rolling Laughter

I take no responsibility for any, shall we say, hydrostatic malfunctions incurred by anyone reading any of my posts.

amother

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 2:45 pm

louche wrote:

amother wrote:

LOUCHE! PLEASE STOP!

Rolling Laughter

I take no responsibility for any, shall we say, hydrostatic malfunctions incurred by anyone reading any of my posts.

Btw, I'm the amother who posted the PSA about not coming on here with a full bladder. Ironic, isn't it?

chocolate moose

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 2:47 pm

DefyGravity wrote:

most people aren't looking for a fancy shabbos dinner, they're looking for nice company.

Not me. If you're not going to make an effort; I'll stay home, thanks. I don't want to eat from paper plates or with disposable forks; I have beautiful China and matching glasses and flatware, plus central hearing and air.

louche

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 2:49 pm

amother wrote:

louche wrote:

amother wrote:

LOUCHE! PLEASE STOP!

Rolling Laughter

I take no responsibility for any, shall we say, hydrostatic malfunctions incurred by anyone reading any of my posts.

Btw, I'm the amother who posted the PSA about not coming on here with a full bladder. Ironic, isn't it?

That's just toooo funny!

imasinger

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 2:50 pm

louche wrote:

amother wrote:

LOUCHE! PLEASE STOP!

Rolling Laughter

I take no responsibility for any, shall we say, hydrostatic malfunctions incurred by anyone reading any of my posts.

Dang, now I have to pay for my own new monitor.

Ariellush

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 8:00 am

My husband says that it is better to have guests frequently and share with them a simple but tasty meal, cooked with love, than to have guests rarely, because I am too tired to cook something fancy.