How do you effectively discipline a 17 month old?

sugaray

Thu, Mar 25 2010, 11:11 am

I have the love and logic tapes by becky ulman. im pretty sure that she says that you can start disciplining from the age of 18 months. she describes using the "uh oh song" when a child is doing something you dont want. its a version of time out but doesnt involve you getting upset (or even firm) in any way and another difference is that there is no warning.
I used this for two of my kids so far and it worked like a charm at that age. for example, the 18 month old is pulling the lamp down. mom says "uh oh, its cribby time" in a singsong voice. then puts the kid in the crib for 2 minutes. after two minutes, go back in and say, "are you ready to be sweet?", give the kid a hug and kiss and let him go on his merry way. of course he'll do it again but after a few times, it should stop.
she says that especially in the beginning, only pick one thing that he is doing wrong to use the uh oh song, then once that is down pat, you can move on to something else.
this method works for years after that because it is established in the household.
btw, she says that studies have shown that at 11 months, a baby is as smart as the family dog. Smile

octopus

Thu, Mar 25 2010, 1:19 pm

It sounds like to me that your ds is frustrated. And when he is frustrated he tantrums. I think you have to keep in mind that this too shall pass, but at the same time actively encourage vocabulary with him (which you probably do anyway). For example, EVERYTHING that you do say out loud. "I'm opening up the refrigerator now." "I'm putting on your shirt." Give him simple instructions and see if he can follow them like, " bring me your shoes." You probably naturally do these things anyway. I know that this is not advice on how to deal with the tantrums per se, but maybe it can help in the long run. And girls tend to be more verbal than boys anyway, so that could very well be why your girls were more verbal at this age. And just as an aside, it sounds like your ds is doing the age-appropriate verbal stuff. So I wouldn't worry he is behind. It's a stage and it too shall pass.

chaylizi

Thu, Mar 25 2010, 2:50 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I don't think that this is the time to educate not to hit...that would be if she hit another child, or if she hit me at a time when I said no to something....but when it's a frustration thing, what she needs is validation for her feelings.

You must have missed where I wrote that his victim is usually his 3 year old sister. I can't ignore him hitting a sibling.