I feel so overwhelmed

amother

Wed, Dec 01 2010, 8:00 pm

I could really use some chizuk, my beautiful 8 year old son, just got diagnosed with tourrettes. We have suspected it for a while, and now we know. he also has ADD and some behavioral problems. I feel so stressed out lately, literally from the morning till the night (besides for when he is in school) I am dealing with some kind of negative behavior from him. And the most unfair thing is, that he is b"ah, smart, loves to read etc. but can't sit and be focused the whole time during learning. I know as a boy, he is basically doomed. (I know this sounds terrible, but in my yeshivish environment this is the case) I honestly have no idea how to proceed, there is so many different opinions and alternative treatment and I am so confused. if anyone has any input, or positive experience, I would really love to hear.
sorry for the rant and rave, but it actually feels good to get it off my chest.

anon for this

Thu, Dec 02 2010, 6:16 am

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I don't know much about Tourette's or ADD, but I do have a son on the autism spectrum, PDD-NOS. He attends a school for children with special needs, and many of his behaviors have improved in the past few years, but it's unlikely that he will take the typical yeshivish path. This is difficult for me, but I try to tell myself that Hashem only expects him to do what he can, and that my job is to help him realize his potential, not someone else's potential. This is often easier to say than to do of course.

My son is also very bright k"ah. This sometimes makes it easier for him to understand his own behavioral issues, so he can learn to self-regulate to an extent.

Please keep in mind, too, that many successful adults have had ADD and/ or did not do well in classroom settings.

Hatzlacha!

sneakermom

Thu, Dec 02 2010, 6:24 am

Go to the best pediatric psychiatrist in your city. Preferably one that specializes in tourrets. Once he is being monintered by an expert, trust the porfessional and try to find the best medication to help your son. Both of his issues are neurological, brain based and with medication can be modified. (Borrow money for this if you need to, and do research on the psychiatrist before you go.)

He also needs therapy to help him with his self confidence, understanding who he is within the constraints of adhd and tourrets and building him up with the stuff he excels in.

ADHD brains have difficulty focusing and organizing thought. Their frontal lobes, (focusing part) are weaker in this area. There are a lot of exercises that work to strengthen those frontal lobes. A good therapist should guide you with this, and do these exercises with your son. You can also google this and find a lot of good resources.

You mentioned that your son is smart. That's terrific. Remember we can teach an adhd child to focus, to control his impulses, skills to be organized but you can't screw on a new head that's more intelligent. Use his intelligence as a counterbalance to the other stuff and you will be surprised as to how successful he can be.

The three most important things right now are: Top psychiatrist, terrific therapist, and educate yourself about both conditions and what you can do to help your son.

Hatzlachah!