Your Rav is an Idiot

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Apr 11 2011, 5:32 pm

But how can you stop this?

There will always be someone who likes to put down others, whether in real life or the Internet.

The difference is, in real life WE CHOOSE OUR FRIENDS.

On the Internet, we ARE FORCED TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE WE DON'T LIKE.

Let's face it: This is the downside of the Internet, as much as companionship is an upside.

Last edited by amother on Sun, Jan 03 2016, 6:37 pm; edited 1 time in total

bubby

Mon, Apr 11 2011, 5:43 pm

amother wrote:

bubby wrote:

amother wrote:

bubby wrote:

If you are upset about something on FB, why drag it here? G-d knows we have enough arguments that start on here! Rolling Eyes

If I'm missing summat, feel free to be clearer.

But to comment: I agree, OP. As someone (Chabad) who sees A LOT of anti-Chabad rhetoric on here, ITA with your hurt & furious feelings.

So there, bashers! Bring it on

I'm not allowed to vent?
And I've seen similar happening on imamother, even if that wasn't what prompted this post.

Hon, I'M AGREEING WITH YOU!!! I just don't know what WE can do if this is a FB issue.

I wasn't sure if you were complaining that I was venting. I davka didnt want to vent on facebook because I wanted to write anon.
The only thing to do is to just empathize/commiserate, and I guess try to be aware of how you (not you, bubby, but just someone) may be hurting someone by making remarks like that.

I get it, I really do.

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Apr 11 2011, 5:46 pm

amother wrote:

I didnt want to vent on facebook because I wanted to write anon.
The only thing to do is to just empathize/commiserate, and I guess try to be aware of how you (not you, bubby, but just someone) may be hurting someone by making remarks like that.

Bubby is never nasty, and never will be.

Last edited by amother on Sun, Jan 03 2016, 6:37 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tue, Apr 12 2011, 1:02 am

Dear OP
I understand that you are venting and I agree it's a rude thing to say but ya know I don't think any of us can really comment without a bit more detail

There was once a poster on imamother who posted that her Rov allowed her to use the internet on Shabbos because she was in the hospital for something or other (maybe with someone?) and was really depressed and coming on imamother was boosting her moral.
(This happened after people who knew her locality noticed and commented on her timing of posting.)
Obviously most posters took issue with what this poster's Rov said and it turned out that her Rov wasn't orthodox and in fact this poster wasn't halachikly Jewish.

So you understand, that there is a time and a place to say "your rov is not competent" albeit a lot nicer then that.

However I doubt that's what happened in your case and I'm just telling you this story to illustrate how it's not a blanket rule that "each to their own rov"
Sometimes one needs to be "educated" about the reality of their own Rov
kind of like that lady that was charged a few thousand dollars to see her "Rebbe"!
understand?

amother

Tue, Apr 12 2011, 1:07 am

amother wrote:

Does telling someone that their rav is an ignoramus change anything? Even if it may be true, what's the point in saying it? Just to gloat? Because I doubt anyone would switch rabbanim just because some other rabbi (yes, the person who said this was a rabbi) said their rabbi was an idiot. (Didn't use those words, but definitely implied it.)

cbsmommy

Tue, Apr 12 2011, 2:16 am

I can see both sides of the spectrum.

The internet is a wonderful, incredible place. But the internet can also be a cruel and awful place. Facebook friends aren't always friends, and people tend to get nasty cases of verbal shilshul and feel that they know-it-all.

That being said, can a Rav be 'wrong'? Well, yes and no. A Rav is a person, and to err is to be human. We daven that a Rav has siyata dishmaya and doesn't make errors. But...can a Rav be misinformed? Sure. Can a Rav have a misunderstanding that is embarrassing? I used to say 'no'....but...maybe some of the 'bashers' have recently experienced a situation of 'horror' that hit close to home.

I did.

A while back, on an Erev Pesach, a prominent organization in my community sponsored a presentation on 'what to-do-if-you-have-celiac disease on Pesach.' They held it in a local shul and from the looks of the crowd, everyone with a Celiac diagnosis/parents of children with celiac, showed up (all the people with Celiac in my community tend to know each other) and the room was PACKED.

The organization brought in a very well respected frum gastroenterologist and a well known Rov that deals with kashrus. First the doctor stood up. The GI gave an EXCEEDINGLY detailed and well thought out presentation explaining the dangers of someone with celiac disease eating even traces amounts of gluten. He went through from a medical standpoint symptoms, steps to diagnosis, basics of the gluten free diet, how common this is in the Jewish community, everything that you ever were curious to know.

And then the Rov stood up.

And I was horribly embarrassed on his behalf b/c the Rav stood up and announced to a room full of people with Celiac Disease that they should eat matzahs that has enough wheat that you can 'taste the wheat' in order to be yotzei the first seder night.

What happened next will NOT be posted on the internet.

I won't lie. This incident made me really question a LOT of things regarding asking shailos. If someone would have said something controversial after that meeting regarding a Rav, I might have snapped and said 'so-and-so is an idiot'.

groisamomma

Tue, Apr 12 2011, 2:40 am

amother wrote:

you're not the bikini wearing kollel wife, are you?

You ARE kidding, aren't you? I'm picturing a beautiful woman clad in a red bikini parading up and down the beach while learning from a sefer. Just kidding.

Calling someone else's rav an ignoramus is spiteful of the rav, not you necessarily. The person possibly had bad experiences with rabbonim and couldn't control herself. Never an excuse, ever, but maybe she's too bitter to see past her own nose.

I like bubby, too. Can you pretty please PM me, too? I'm getting jealous Very Happy

ora_43

Tue, Apr 12 2011, 2:50 am

amother wrote:

I think there's a big difference between saying "There is no way that what your rabbi said is correct" and "Your rabbi is an idiot."

I can see how the reader might draw conclusions from the former, like, "What, so are you saying my rav is lying? or stupid?" But that's their inference, it doesn't mean the original statement is in the same category as something that's stam insulting.

I can see both sides... Like previous posters said, people have pulled some pretty unbelievable "Well my rav says its fine"s on here, but OTOH people have also pulled some pretty unbelievable "That's totally assur"s.

I'm guessing that whoever said it felt they had an obligation to correct you so that nobody else would think that what you were saying was muttar, really was. Which doesn't make them any less tactless. Or any less wrong, if they were wrong.

PinkFridge

Tue, Apr 12 2011, 8:51 am

[quote="cbsmommy"]

And I was horribly embarrassed on his behalf b/c the Rav stood up and announced to a room full of people with Celiac Disease that they should eat matzahs that has enough wheat that you can 'taste the wheat' in order to be yotzei the first seder night.]

He said wheat, not grain? Because people on the specific carbohydrate diet (which some people with extreme celiac benefit from too) for IBD avoid all gluten and more, and the standard Pesach psak is to eat a minimum (not sure of the shiur) of oat matzah, which is lowest gluten, just for the sedarim (and possibly first night of Succos). So telling people they should eat SOME form of matzah, and we can do on a one on one to determine if you really can't do the minimum shiur is NOT so appalling.

sequoia

Tue, Apr 12 2011, 10:26 am

cbsmommy wrote:

.

A while back, on an Erev Pesach, a prominent organization in my community sponsored a presentation on 'what to-do-if-you-have-celiac disease on Pesach.' They held it in a local shul and from the looks of the crowd, everyone with a Celiac diagnosis/parents of children with celiac, showed up (all the people with Celiac in my community tend to know each other) and the room was PACKED.

The organization brought in a very well respected frum gastroenterologist and a well known Rov that deals with kashrus. First the doctor stood up. The GI gave an EXCEEDINGLY detailed and well thought out presentation explaining the dangers of someone with celiac disease eating even traces amounts of gluten. He went through from a medical standpoint symptoms, steps to diagnosis, basics of the gluten free diet, how common this is in the Jewish community, everything that you ever were curious to know.

And then the Rov stood up.

And I was horribly embarrassed on his behalf b/c the Rav stood up and announced to a room full of people with Celiac Disease that they should eat matzahs that has enough wheat that you can 'taste the wheat' in order to be yotzei the first seder night.