strange compliments- how would you react?

sunflower_seed

Sun, Mar 11 2012, 7:09 pm

I am sure you all were in that kind of situation before, so please share the wisdom how to react.
Without giving away too much- at a kiddush I happened to speak to a lady who I didn't know.
she first seemed nice and gave me compliments on how I look and that she thinks I would have twins soon (I am not pregnant). we then had some smalltalk. and then she just couldn't stop talking about me having kids (I am in shana rishona). but the way she said it was scary- like she was telling me you will have a boy for sure, you look like you are a lucky person etc.
For the records- she baruch hashem has a few kids already.
I have a medical condition which requires me to be on the pill for the time being, so the whole subject is somewhat sensitive.
she then started speaking loshon hora about someone who recently gave birth and has x number of kids and whatever. also the way she said it was not nice.
I don't know what to think about it. she is from the community so I can't avoid her forever, also I don't want to offend her.
I don't know very much about her but she and her dh might not be frum/I am not sure.
so maybe she doesn't realize that what she is saying (she asked me whether I am pregnant and when I said no, she asked me whether I am sure).
anyway, how do I react next time?
walk away pretending being busy with something else?
change the subject (might not work)?
actually tell her that it's too personal for me?
Thank you!

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Mar 11 2012, 8:11 pm

So you met an idiot. Don't worry about it, dear OP. I have no idea why you stayed for such a long chat. With the nicest smile, you could have excused yourself to say hello to somebody, or allowed yourself to ooze away, borne off by the movement of the crowd, when she was making a remark to someone else.

Whew. What a nut case.

That "you're fat" thing should have been an instant tip-off that this isn't a good patch of floor to be standing on. Telling someone they are appear to be having twins is rude even if they ARE pregnant.

I am sure you have a nice figure, and I hope you will have all the blessings you want, and good health, in the right time.

groovy1224

Mon, Mar 12 2012, 12:04 am

Yeah, I would definitely tell her it's too personal to discuss. Next time she brings it up, smile as nicely as you can, and just say I'm really not comfortable talking about this. She sounds really nutty, so she might actually try to bulldoze past that, but keep strong. It's really a chutzpah for someone to ask you straight out like that if you are pregnant, especially whens so many people have a backstory to go with that question.
Hopefully soon she will find someone else to pester.