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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
Ginger
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Wed, Oct 17 2018, 10:41 pm
Many times, guys (usually aged 40+) say, upon seeing my children, something along the lines of, "it's a blessing that they look like you!"
Is that creepy or normal?
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simba
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Wed, Oct 17 2018, 10:45 pm
Is your DH really ugly?
No men, regardless of their age comment on my kids looks.
I would vote: Creepy
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amother
Ginger
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Wed, Oct 17 2018, 10:46 pm
simba wrote: | Is your DH really ugly?
No men, regardless of their age comment on my kids looks.
I would vote: Creepy |
Nope. He's cute! They say it without even seeing my husband, sometimes.
Btw it's modern orthodox or irreligious/non Jewish men. Never chareidi men (that would be creepy hands down)
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mommy3b2c
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Wed, Oct 17 2018, 10:47 pm
As long as they don’t have an otherwise creepy vibe, it sounds fine to me.
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zaq
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Wed, Oct 17 2018, 10:56 pm
It’s a blessing that they look like you as opposed to what? . Looking like your dh? How insulting to him. Looking like the milkman?How insulting to you!
I wouldn’t call it creepy. They’re presumably complimenting you and the children both. But it’s a weird way to say it, as if it’s saving you from the dreadful fate of having your children look like anyone else. Most people would say something like “how cute/sweet/nice that your children look like you.” No, actually they wouldn’t. Most people would just say they look like you, period.To call it a blessing is rather overstating things.
So not creepy but not entirely normal either. Men of any age shouldn’t be commenting on your looks, so come to think of it, maybe a bit creepy after all.
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Miri7
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Wed, Oct 17 2018, 11:59 pm
I don’t think it’s creepy. They’re just saying the kids look like you and they’re cute kids. Not the best way to say it but not too creepy
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amother
Mustard
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 12:00 am
If you have a distinct cute feature, such as blond, red-headed, or a dimple, totally fine IMHO.
Otherwise, I'd be a drop creeped out.
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amother
Cerulean
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 12:29 am
I am a redhead and people used touch my red hair when I lived oot. Gross!!
Na not creepy because they are alta k@kars saying I would not be afraid
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amother
Oak
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 1:04 am
It's always cute and feels good to have a child who looks like you - so maybe they're just saying you're lucky to have your kids look like you - and it simply means those words, nothing further and nothing creepy.
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DrMom
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 2:02 am
I can see a context in which it is not creepy. For example, if they are friends with your DH and he is present for these remarks, it's a gentle way of kidding with him.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 6:34 am
I'd say my husband is very handsome. Let that sink in if they mean to flirt, or to put him down for some reason (?)
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Simple1
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 7:03 am
amother wrote: | I am a redhead and people used touch my red hair when I lived oot. Gross!!
Na not creepy because they are alta k@kars saying I would not be afraid |
40 + is alta k@kars?? Or did I misunderstand?
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giselle
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 7:31 am
Simple1 wrote: | 40 + is alta k@kars?? Or did I misunderstand? |
Ha that’s exactly what I was thinking.
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amother
Seafoam
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 9:32 am
amother wrote: | I am a redhead and people used touch my red hair when I lived oot. Gross!!
Na not creepy because they are alta k@kars saying I would not be afraid |
Listen up little girl, even AKs over 40 are led around by their eiver. If you think men turn into eunuchs on their 40th bday and can only get excited about their next meal, I suggest you never leave home because in your naïveté you are a danger to yourself. You never heard of the expression “dirty old man”? Hint: it’s not referring to poor housekeeping.
These infants. They think they invented s@x and it’s limited to people within five years of their own age.
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zaq
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 9:34 am
Simple1 wrote: | 40 + is alta k@kars?? Or did I misunderstand? |
They are if you’re a baby, which the poster obviously is.
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FranticFrummie
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 9:41 am
Do people say this to about your kids often, or is it one guy who keeps saying it?
It sounds like a socially awkward attempt at conversation. Maybe he heard someone say it once, and somebody laughed at it, so now he's repeating it because he thinks it is a good line. (Very common with people on the spectrum.)
Without more information, I'm going to go with "odd, but not threatening. Approach with caution."
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amother
Crimson
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 11:18 am
When my 95 year old grandmother saw my relative's baby for the first time, she told him - Boruch Hashem, she looks like your wife! He thought it was hysterical and told everyone in the family.
She passed away a few years ago but everyone still cracks up when we retell that story. It was so typical of her to notice and comment like that.
But for a 40 year old guy to say that, it might be weird, depending on the context.
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naturalmom5
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 5:50 pm
amother wrote: | Listen up little girl, even AKs over 40 are led around by their eiver. If you think men turn into eunuchs on their 40th bday and can only get excited about their next meal, I suggest you never leave home because in your naïveté you are a danger to yourself. You never heard of the expression “dirty old man”? Hint: it’s not referring to poor housekeeping.
These infants. They think they invented s@x and it’s limited to people within five years of their own age. |
I always find it fascinating how so many members on this site, of course those posting anonymously, constantly have sx on the brain.
On any of the secular middle-aged women forums, and all the secular women I speak to , no one is so obsessed...
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dancingqueen
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 5:53 pm
Eh I’ve heard it too, I think it’s an old timely compliment. Like borscht belt style.
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greenhelm
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Thu, Oct 18 2018, 7:55 pm
DrMom wrote: | I can see a context in which it is not creepy. For example, if they are friends with your DH and he is present for these remarks, it's a gentle way of kidding with him. |
Exactly what I was thinking!
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