Weird question | Imamother

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 11:45 pm

Woerd question. I only have boys. My oldest a smart and intelligent 5 year old. He still doesn’t know that girls have different private parts.

I feel like the sooner he knows the less of a big deal it is. For the last few years I was hoping it should sort of come into a conversation. It never has. I even had sleepovers in the past and would dress them in the same room, he just never noticed or asked. I wasn’t gonna go to the girl and point it out.

I feel like anything you tell kids is so matter of fact and simple. Imagine a 12 year old finding out that girls are different, that would make him so curious. I think most kids who have sisters see their mother changing her diaper or bathing...

So my question is: am I crazy that I feel like he needs to know already?

If yes, how do I do it? Do I just tell him?

I guess it’s quite obvious that he’s the oldest and I’m learning... thanks for any insight

amother

Coral

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 11:47 pm

Have you ever gone to a bris? I find that's usually the best place to bring it up.

Only boys have a bris! Hashem made them with an eiver, and some people even call it the Makom Habris! Hashem made girls' bodies differently, so they don't have an eiver. That's why a girl baby doesn't get a bris.

I don't think he needs to know any more than that!

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 11:51 pm

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

Thanks! I like this idea. My sister is imyh having a baby this month. Hopefully a boy:)

amother

Coral

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 11:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks! I like this idea. My sister is imyh having a baby this month. Hopefully a boy:)

It works well even if it's a girl! Explain that this is why she doesn't get a Bris like other boy babies do.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 11:57 pm

This is interesting. Did he not go to daycare/playgroup/nursery? Was it single gender? My kids daycare took them 2 at a time to the bathroom for potty training beginning at age 2. She’s always known that boys have w*llies and girls don’t. (Come to think of it does he never go with you to the bathroom? Doesn’t he see that you sit (while he and his dad stand) I agree with your theory but perhaps for your kid, who may be more concrete, it’s best for him to figure it out on his own

amother

Tan

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 12:02 am

I have only boys oldest 15 kh I never spoke about it. I feel they csn figure it out on their own . This is really not something I feel I would bring up . U can make them even more curious by mentioning something..

amother

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 12:06 am

It totally could be that he does know and picked it up a long time ago and it’s just matter of fact for him and I never discussed with him.

He did go to mixed playgroups. I feel like he missed this memo

amother

Pewter

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 12:20 am

Why does it have to be a conversation. Just like girls have long hair boys peyas girls wear skirts boys wear pants mommy’s wear wigs Totty’s wear kippas. Their body is also different. U don’t feel u need to talk about these things why need to mention the other? He prob knows but doesn’t think anything of it.

amother

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 8:59 am

Ruchel wrote:

Today parents want to feel everything is detailed

What do you mean by that? Do you think I should ignore the whole issue and let him learn whenever he does?

happyone

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 9:20 am

I never sat my boys down and taught them. imo you're thinking too much into it. One child once asked and I simply answered that boys and girls were created with different body parts. Simple end of story. My son got married and happily has his life together without my educating him as a little boy..

amother

Red

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 9:43 am

I also only have boys. I never really talked to them about it. First of all, when they're toddlers they followed me into the bathroom. Although I was always discreet that they shouldn't see me, they were aware that I pee sitting down and dad pees standing up. But also, they have at various times asked what makes a boy a boy and what makes a girl a girl, and I simply said, different body parts. Boys have pnises, girls don't. They have something else (didn't get detailed here at all) that allows them to have babies.

amother

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 10:05 am

amother [ Red ] wrote:

I wasn’t gonna make a big deal either or sit him down and have a talk. But you did tell them at some point t that girls don’t have a p-nis. He never asked me this question

rachel6543

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 10:13 am

There are books for little kids about the body. When my son was in elementary school, I don’t remember his exact age (6, 7, 8?) he started asking questions about where babies come from. I checked out a few books from the local library and went over the pages I felt were appropriate for him. Discussed body differences between boys and girls and had the initial conversation about where babies come from. Having books were great because they had kid appropriate illustrations & explanations.

small bean

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 11:50 am

I don't have little girls and my lttle boys know. I think if he went to a mixed group he knows and doesn't really care.

It is really not that important to little kids. Why would he mention it to you. If you have a baby girl one day, he might mention it then.

My boys know that the doc looks at the baby at birth to see if there is a pen-is or not and is there is they say boy. They know there is a difference and I'm sure they've seen a girl on school or whatever.

amother

Red

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 11:55 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I wasn’t gonna make a big deal either or sit him down and have a talk. But you did tell them at some point t that girls don’t have a p-nis. He never asked me this question

It's only ever come up if they've asked. I mean, ok, if he hasn't asked by the time he's like 10, might want to make sure he's not completely clueless, but I don't think it's a big deal at 5. I mean, if he asks, it's a fine age to tell him. But if not, I don't think there's a need to go out of your way to tell him. Most kids will have asked at least some questions by this time, so it does usually come up organically.

amother

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 11:58 am

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Thanks. I just wanted to make sure that it’s not super weird that he doesn’t know yet. And that it won’t frown him out if he finds out when he’s older

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 12:00 pm

If you can bring it up in a casual way then I would. When my oldest way 4.5 she only had a younger sister and she went to an all girls playgroup during the year but a mixed day camp that summer. She came home the 1st day from day camp and she was really surprised by what she found out by changing time. Over the summer she harped on it so much that one morning she woke up and told me she dreamed that she grew a peni$. I felt really bad for her that it was such a focus. I ended up asking the counselors to let her change in the bathroom..

amother

Amber

Thu, Jan 02 2020, 12:35 pm

That reminds me of a story!!
Happened many years ago, I was babysitting and changing my baby boy's diaper when kid that was next to me ask: "is it a boy or a girl?"
So I obviously answered "he's a boy!" And je asked me "how do you know?" I just said because "boys and girls are different and he's a boy"
I did mention to the mother when she came home and said I was a little surprised, her answer: "well, what was your baby wearing? Oh red overalls, that's why!" Can't Believe It

I guess she didn't think he needed to know anything about it!!! LOL