Any way to avoid yichud?

amother

Bisque

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 9:12 am

It sounds like it would be less stressful to just clean yourself until you find cleaning help you trust. Or you might do better with a cleaning service that sends two people.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 9:54 am

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

It sounds like it would be less stressful to just clean yourself until you find cleaning help you trust. Or you might do better with a cleaning service that sends two people.

Not really. Pretty stressful with work. I don't know how to find cleaning help that I really trust.

Do so many people really have cleaning help when they're not home? I always thought that stealing was a widespread issue in that case.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 12:03 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Is it a halachically valid option to ask your husband to stay in a locked room during that time?

No. I believe it would need to be locked from both sides.

amother

Smokey

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 12:12 pm

Your husband wants to stay home, he doesnt want to leave, you dont like the webcam option, your rav said it isnt sufficient for the door to be open, you cant come home any earlier. Doesnt seem like any of the suggestions so far have helped you because you shot them down (for good reason) or they are halachically an issue.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 12:17 pm

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

Yep, you summarized it, though I'd rephrase "shot down" with "explained that they won't work." The only option that could work is a webcam, but I need to know if a webcam just on my husband would be sufficient.

ExtraCredit

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 12:21 pm

This thread is like a riddle where everyone is guessing what might be the correct answer. But it seems like there’s no satisfactory answer to this one after 3 pages. So I give up. OP can you give a suggestion that might work?

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 12:25 pm

ExtraCredit wrote:

I wouldn't have posted this thread if I could think of one... we've tried to come up with a bunch of different solutions, none of which are satisfactory.

To me, the two that make the most sense are either having my husband leave when she comes or having a webcam on my husband the whole time- but I need to make sure that it's sufficient. It could be that there would need to be a webcam on both of them at all times, since iirc, there is a similar halacha with both the man and woman being visible from the window.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 12:49 pm

ChanieMommy wrote:

So I don't see any solution... your husband will have to do the cleaning himself...

More like I will need to do the cleaning, which is why I keep pestering him to decide which solution he prefers. Banging head

Kumphort

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 12:51 pm

I think a web cam suffices for yotzei v nichnas and is used so for some kashrut agencies but I may be totally mistaken

amother

Bisque

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

More like I will need to do the cleaning, which is why I keep pestering him to decide which solution he prefers. Banging head

Tell him if he can’t help make it possible for a cleaning lady to come he will have to split the cleaning with you.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:05 pm

Kumphort wrote:

I think a web cam suffices for yotzei v nichnas and is used so for some kashrut agencies but I may be totally mistaken

Just trained on one person, though, and not on both? (I will ask the Rav.)

Kumphort

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:11 pm

Check out page 8. Not for an actual psak for yourself but it discusses this Exact thing

https://s3.amazonaws.com/ncsy-.....h.pdf

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:14 pm

Kumphort wrote:

Check out page 8. Not for an actual psak for yourself but it discusses this Exact thing

https://s3.amazonaws.com/ncsy-.....h.pdf

That makes a lot of sense, but seems to answer my question: both the man and woman need to be visible. That makes me uncomfortable, because I'd rather not have cameras in my whole apartment... what if we forget to shut them off?

ExtraCredit

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:21 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To confuse you even more....
I somehow hate the idea of webcam on your DH. I wouldn’t be comfortable with a webcam shooting me for an hour straight!
Why can’t the cleaner come when you get home even if we she won’t get that much done? (Maybe I finally got the right answer? Was it for extra credit?)

amother

Plum

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:27 pm

What’s wrong with cameras in your house? I have them to observe my nanny and kids when I’m not home. Also, many people leave cleaning help unsupervised and just make sure all valuables are put away properly with no cash lying around. The Cameras help for that too.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:29 pm

ExtraCredit wrote:

I also wouldn't be that comfortable with it!

She refuses to come later. I asked her if she would come an hour later, and she said no.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:30 pm

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

I don't know, it kind of creeps me out. I'd rather not have a camera seeing my/our every move, for sure not in my bedroom (which is where most of my valuables are - and we have no other place to put them)!

ExtraCredit

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’d turn the camera on only for that one hour she’s home alone to spare you the stealing issue.

I think we’re on to something.