Having strong charge against INTJ's

number

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 10:42 pm

lk1234 wrote:

Wow amazing post. Thank you! All the INTJs I've come across, from the elementary school "Ms. brilliant perfect girl", to my current workplace and girls in seminary are all successful! What am I missing. I've never come across in real life an unsuccessful INTJ! The one I work with now has a golden touch. I can't keep up with this person. He reads faster, he processes faster, I have to compute something, it takes me 15 minutes. He computes and it is tops 2 minutes. He is always catching me on mistakes, and I'm always trying to catch him on mistakes but never successful. I've tried to focus on my own strengths but I guess it has more to do with the overemphasis in my family on being smart, fast, bright and successful.

I’ll be your first “unsuccessful” intj then Sad

I’m not saying my life is bad but I don’t have the charmed life you seem to think all intjs are blessed with.

number

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 10:47 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Zehava said that the goal can be being a supermom, but it doesn't work that way. There are too many nitty-gritty things that are very distracting.

I don’t think most intjs could choose being a super mom as their goal. It’s just too daily grind if you know what I mean.

Zehava

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 10:53 pm

number wrote:

I’ll be your first “unsuccessful” intj then Sad

I’m not saying my life is bad but I don’t have the charmed life you seem to think all intjs are blessed with.

Not a single INTJ I know has a charmed life. Even when it comes to trauma they’ve outdone me.

number

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 11:01 pm

Zehava wrote:

Not a single INTJ I know has a charmed life. Even when it comes to trauma they’ve outdone me.

As an intj I seem to have a special talent for getting traumatized about absolutely nothing. So I’m definitely gifted in that way. Smile

Zehava

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 11:03 pm

number wrote:

As an intj I seem to have a special talent for getting traumatized about absolutely nothing. So I’m definitely gifted in that way. Smile

I bet you just think of it as nothing

lk1234

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 6:34 am

Zehava wrote:

I bet you just think of it as nothing

Lol! Even things that seem difficult are no biggie for the INTJ. Hard to socialize? Find likeminded personalities to hang around.

I wonder- Do INTJs work through trauma quicker because of their brain capacity?

lk1234

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 6:56 am

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

I'm shocked you've come across so many INTJs. We're a unique breed... I've met only a handful in all my years

When I write I am specifically focusing on 4-5 that I know very very well.
1 in elementary school.
1 in high school.
a few in seminary - I went to a very intellectual seminary.
1 at work.

They are all super successful. Then I cross paths with INTJs that I don't know as well but appear successful.

amother

Linen

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 7:22 am

Success really depends how you define it.
I notice that often super-successful people have a huge gap somewhere else. E.g. ate narrow-minded and judgmental to people not like them. Or neglect their families or friends etc Extreme success often comes at expense of balance.

I wish/wished could be an advanced professional in medicine or I don't know what. Instead I qualified in somewhat academic subjects and do family friendly work while trying to raise my kids to be happy normal and Torah-dik. And I don't have a huge family either.

I feel lonely often that few people appreciate or understand my intellectual level. Couple of busy friends maybe.

And struggle with non-Jewish influences such as books and radio cos I find frum alternatives hardly measure up. And I struggle with my less intellectual (but still intelligent NF) husband making Torah his career when I know that I could be a far more successful talmid chacham if you'll exc
use the way it sounds.

A mixed blessing I should be grateful..

I console myself that I need to learn how to kind and unselfish and my last reincarnation I was something else..

Zehava

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:03 am

lk1234 wrote:

So it’s like this
They can sometimes have a hard time accessing it, and their entire emotional landscape can be shut down and frozen for years.
But because of their drive for self-improvement and fixing problems, once the door is opened for them they are off and running without looking back.

lk1234

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:04 am

Zehava wrote:

So I am once again left to my jealousy of their ease with which even the things that are easy for me they are somehow better at...

amother

Honeydew

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:07 am

Zehava wrote:

I'm drowning between wanting to improve myself and being completely frozen. Trauma comes with so much shame that I dont even know how I can ever overcome it. I have intellectually come to understand a lot, but I don't see how I'll ever run down this road without falling and falling and falling and that's terribly frightening for me because I'm used to doing everything so much better than everyone else. Except of course feeling, I'm horrible at that. And mothering, but I intellectually understand it.

Zehava

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:08 am

lk1234 wrote:

So I am once again left to my jealousy of their ease with which even the things that are easy for me they are somehow better at...

So I dunno, again I’m somehow not.
Ofcourse it’s annoying to hear them go on about how perfectly they do stuff. But I still wouldn’t want to be them.
I’ll take my empathetic sensitivity over their calculated lives any day of the week.

amother

Honeydew

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:10 am

Zehava wrote:

Are you an INFP?

amother

Papaya

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:10 am

lk1234- I think you have created an image of a perfect person. But she doesn't exist. You wrote in the beginning that your INTJ is not very social.... Read back what you wrote. I don't know why you're fixating on this, but there must be something you are trying to improve in your life. Work on that instead of dreaming imaginary stories about people you many know very little about!

From an INTJ who has had more than her share of suffering.

Zehava

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:12 am

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Totally totally get that

amother

Papaya

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:16 am

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Yup! It's a rocky road for us!

amother

Honeydew

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:16 am

Zehava wrote:

Yes!!

I think this is the best of the bunch. I cannot understand why someone would prefer INTJ over INFP. The INFP is obviously so much more successful where it really matters in life.