Who pays for waxing?

Highstrung

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 9:35 am

amother Tan wrote:

I was born in 1992 and waxing was 100% a thing

I have light skin and very dark hair so definitely it was needed for me but even for my classmates- they all did it

By the time you got waxings it was the 2000s. I think this is a “new” thing in the last 2 decades that it became a necessity and a need for a teen. It’s so interesting to me to see how things evolved and became part of our lives and turned into necessities for every child and teen.
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it. I do feel like my life was more care free in a way and we didn’t have pressure to do manis, pedis , waxings, laser , wear halos or extensions to thicken and lengthen our hair . We cared about what we wore , about our hair styles and our backpacks and our marks in school. That was enough pressure than having to always be at these appointments . It makes me dizzy thinking about all of it. Lol.

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 9:42 am

Highstrung wrote:

Please don’t hug this post , but I have a sincere question. Was waxing always a thing ? Even in the nineties? I remember my classmates and I tweezed . Only very hairy girls got waxings , or so I thought .
When I was post highschool my mother started going for waxings and she took me along also paid for mine. At that time the esthetician told me not to tweeze because it thins the eyebrows.
I waxed maybe a few other times after I got married and now for convenience wax at home . I’m not hairy , never felt like I didn’t take care of my grooming . Was waxing really that common and I just didn’t know that , when I was a teen? (In the nineties) Eyebrow and lip waxing is a basic need? I never had a lip wax in my life and I look perfectly fine . 🤔

I was a teen in the nineties and my friends and I used to go for eyebrow and lip waxing, probably starting in 7th or 8th grade. It was very normal in Brooklyn. Sometimes we went during our lunch break in high school.

Highstrung

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 9:54 am

amother Chartreuse wrote:

I’m from Brooklyn. I remember 2 to 3 girls doing that . They had thick hair , and also they were more “fancy” and probably were wealthier. I still remember one girl come to school with a burn on her face because of hot wax dripping . I remember girls asking her about waxings , if it hurt and why she put herself through the pain etc . This was in highschool 11th and 12th grade . Not a single elementary school girl waxed in my class. My group of friends all tweezed. We used to do it together sometimes. Waxing was done by 2-3 out for the 28 girls in a class.
I feel like I lived in another bubble and universe. At least I know for my own daughter that it’s the norm. I bet by the time she’s 8 we will be hearing that second graders are having hair removal done .

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 9:58 am

Highstrung wrote:

Hmm this is interesting. My school wasn't fancy and my friends definitely weren't fancy! Maybe you were a teen in the very early nineties?

amother

Honey

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 10:11 am

I went to a school with a wealthy crowd in the 2010’s and no not everyone waxed and got manicures. We weren’t allowed to wear nail polish to school or camp so girls would just go before yom tov, that was fairly common but not very often so it wasn’t a big deal. About hair removal, the girls who got waxings were girls with more hair I don’t think it was related to how fancy they were. I never in my entire life waxed anything on my face as I’m an unusually unhairy person bh. My friends who waxed their eyebrows were the girls with thicker hair not the fancier ones. I don’t think it was universal at all, depended on the girl and her personal needs. Most of my friends who did laser etc did it after high school. I honestly have no idea who paid for it though. I’m pretty sure if I had a hairy upper lip or bushy eyebrows my mother would pay for the waxings but as I said earlier in my case it wasn’t necessary.

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 10:12 am

Um, I shave or tweeze.
Including mustache. I have to do it often but that was pretty standard when I was a teen.

Why is the list of necessities growing? And we wonder why parents dip into their kids savings and have trouble making ends meet... yes life is expensive especially with the current economic situation and policies... but why add more to our costs? 🤔

amother

Daylily

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 10:29 am

amother Hawthorn wrote:

Maybe it’s just me because I have very dark hair but I don’t understand how people used to just tweeze? Waxing is absolutely a necessity for me. If I don’t wax my upper lip I have a noticeable mustache-and it’s too hard to tweeze because the hairs are so short, but dark so you can see. I guess eyebrows are not as much a necessity, but when 100% of girls around you do it, if you don’t people notice. You don’t get the same effect with tweezing.

I never heard of tweezing for lips. But does every single girl have dark lip hair?

I'm very hairy. I never had lip hair until late 30s and even then, very little. I get a pacl of nads wax strips. Easy, cheap, painless. I had to tweeze my eyebrows from a young age but I never waxed them.

I'm all for letting girls take care of body hair, but not everyone needs it is not a NEED to go pay for hair removal services.

amother

Grape

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 10:31 am

amother Daylily wrote:

My daughter has very dark upper lip hair since she's 8 years old. We use a hair bleach cream.
I see many girls and women with noticeable upper lip hair.

amother

Lily

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 10:54 am

There are some things that are (IMO) basic necessities.

B”H in the frum world, we are well groomed. And if something is “off”, it is noticed. And why not? We are clean living people and are looked at as such.

Yes, as the years go on there are things that are accepted that might not have been considered necessary 20, 30, 40 etc years ago. But I dont find that a bad/good thing. It just ‘is’.

So although we do not buy designer anything and live extremely simply-by anyone’s standards-there are some basic necessities that are non negotiable:

*Braces if needed ( boys/girls)

*Taking care of acne/skin asap as needed (boys/girls)

*Taking care of facial/body hair as needed. By this I mean: electrolysis, laser, waxing etc (girls)

*Taking care of beard/mustache (if they shave) right when facial hair starts (boys)

*Timely haircuts and not ‘home done’ unless a parent is truly capable (boys/girls)

*Making sure they are taught proper hygiene in a timely fashion such as daily showering, deodorant, teeth cleaning etc (boys/girls)

*Making sure your child has-as much as possible-the basic look in dress to fit in to their community/environment. (boys/girls)

Then there are the countless, countless extras which I feel each family has to decide based on their parenting approach and/or financial means. Ex: mani/pedi, a designer piece (bag, shoe etc), an electric scooter or similar, electronic devices, if they want to buy a friend a gift, constantly wanting to buy pizza/ice cream/pastries etc, etc, etc……. The list goes on and on…and on!

So IMO there is much room for those decisions but not the ‘basics’.

amother

Daylily

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 11:58 am

amother Lily wrote:

This has nothing to do with clean living. And I refuse to judge other yidden by their cosmetic appearances. That, in my opinion, should be a must over mandatory waxing, electrolysis, etc.

Unigala

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:11 pm

my parents always paid for facial waxings.. I never thought to ask for electrolysis or laser.. but I think she would have asked me to chip in for that..

I consider facial hair removal a basic social norm at this point and would absolutely pay for my own daughters once they need... if I can afford it I would also pay for laser/electrolysis just because I wish I had done it younger lol...

amother

Aster

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:21 pm

amother Burgundy wrote:

I’m sorry that you are going through a hard time financially but you should not be shaving your upper lip hair.
Just bec you do it doesn’t make it normal.

amother

Lily

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:47 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

This has nothing to do with clean living. And I refuse to judge other yidden by their cosmetic appearances. That, in my opinion, should be a must over mandatory waxing, electrolysis, etc.

Its not about “waxing/electrolysis”: it is about a teen with facial hair in 2023. Sorry, IMO, that is basic.

And when I say we are we are looked at “out there”, I mean in the world at large. I was not talking about within-as with each other.

Within, we need to love and accept no matter what. And I do B”H. This is not about if I accept another jew. I do.

This only means that I can have the opinion that facial hair in women needs be dealt with and you feel not.

Kol hakavod. I of course accept you regardless, and we agree to disagree!

amother

Daylily

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:50 pm

amother Lily wrote:

I've already said I'm all for taking care of facial or body hair, but waxing eyebrows is not the same category for most girls or women. And a lip wax can easily be done at home with wax strips.

kenz

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 2:58 pm

amother Tan wrote:

I was born in 1992 and waxing was 100% a thing

I have light skin and very dark hair so definitely it was needed for me but even for my classmates- they all did it

I was in high school in 1992 (!) and waxing was very much a thing!! All my friends did it - I actually didn't because I'm really not hairy, I only do what I consider essential but my friends did facial hair, legs, underarms, etc.

kenz

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 3:00 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

I've already said I'm all for taking care of facial or body hair, but waxing eyebrows is not the same category for most girls or women. And a lip wax can easily be done at home with wax strips.

On a slightly related note, I once went into a large drugtsore (think Duane Reade type) and a frum girl was standing on line in front of me with large pieces of paper stuck to her face - she had obviously begun waxing her facial hair at home and then ran out to get something. Does anyone think this is a normal thing to do? I was embarrassed for her. I felt like it was doing something that should be intimate and private in the middle of the street. It looked very bizarre.

amother

Tangerine

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 8:53 am

Highstrung wrote:

I grew up in the 90s and we all waxed our eyebrows in HS. Yes, it was definitely a thing.
I started waxing my underarms and legs as soon as I came home from sem, still in the 90s.

My parents never paid for it. I babysat and worked all summer to pay for extras.

I did pay for DD's waxings until she was post seminary.
She's now in her 20s and working.
I still pay for anything associated with a family simcha: hair, nails, makeup. My parents never did this for me. Even when I was a teen, I had to pay for all beauty treatments besides basic haircuts. My mother never went for a manicure in her life and felt it wasn't necessary. She also never got her makeup done.
When my siblings got married I had to pay for my own hair and makeup.