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-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
Maple
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 Fri, Dec 01 2023, 1:25 pm
| amother OP wrote: | To be clear, it's not a lower track, just a less competitive environment, where girls aren't sobbing when their test score is 97%.
Also, she doesn't have all the power but I believe the right decision is made by taking her feelings into the equation. This IS all about her feelings in the end, isn't it? |
She lacks the ability to know what's best for her in the long run. Of course you listen and take her feelings into account! And then you analyze all the information and make an informed decision.
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amother
Cyan
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Fri, Dec 01 2023, 3:08 pm
Does she care if she gets low grades?
Take a step back and understand that a 75 in a competitive class is like a 90 in a normal class.
It’s perfectly fine to be on the lower end.
If she’s getting 40s or 50s and literally failing then again, ask her if she’s happy like this.
If she’s happy and not broken then don’t break her confidence. And let her just be. If she wants help let it come from her.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Dec 01 2023, 3:14 pm
| amother Cyan wrote: | Does she care if she gets low grades?
Take a step back and understand that a 75 in a competitive class is like a 90 in a normal class.
It’s perfectly fine to be on the lower end.
If she’s getting 40s or 50s and literally failing then again, ask her if she’s happy like this.
If she’s happy and not broken then don’t break her confidence. And let her just be. If she wants help let it come from her. |
She's not getting 40s or 50s.
Also, she's not stupid at home. If you didn't know anything about ger grades you wouldn't suspect anything, you'd just see a suuuuper insecure, awkward, irritable but often fun-loving 13 year old.
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amother
Petunia
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Fri, Dec 01 2023, 3:16 pm
| amother OP wrote: | To be clear, it's not a lower track, just a less competitive environment, where girls aren't sobbing when their test score is 97%.
Also, she doesn't have all the power but I believe the right decision is made by taking her feelings into the equation. This IS all about her feelings in the end, isn't it? |
Sometimes a teen doesn’t understand how bad or damaging their situation is. It’s our job as parents to make those hard decisions for them. This is a toxic environment for her ( really for everyone) and she’s suffering. Change is hard and kids resist it, but sometimes it’s necessary.
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amother
Cyan
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Fri, Dec 01 2023, 3:28 pm
There is nothing wrong with getting low grades and barely passing.
The problem is with the teachers attitude towards her. Just let her be. Let her be happy and who cares about getting 100s. She doesn’t have to be a genius. Just herself. Whoever that turns out to be as she grows up you’ll see her personality. Don’t break her.
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