I lied and I feel horrible

amother

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:15 pm

For some back story, my phone company has promotions every so often where you can trade in an old phone and get a new one highly discounted. I did this a couple of months ago. When I asked if I need to submit my old phone, the rep told me I didn’t have to. The discount did not show up on my next bill but I decided to give it time. By the next month, the discount still wasn’t there so I went to the store (small frum store selling for large national brand) and they told me it was because I didn’t submit my phone. I told them I was advised I didn’t have to and they told me this is impossible. This was not the rep I originally spoke to. Ok. I submitted my phone then. Unfortunately, it was beyond the window of submission to get the promotion . The store told me to reach out to the main company and they would do what they could on their end.

When I called, I felt bad telling the main company that I was given the wrong information by the small store. So I told them I submitted the device on time and have no idea why it came to them so late. It must have been neglected to be mailed out by the local store.

Now I feel awful and terrible. I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble for misinformation but I kind of made the store look bad anyway by saying they neglected to do my return. In addition I feel like they will investigate and find that I never did submit my phone. I feel like such an idiot. I specifically asked if I should leave them my phone and they said no. I don’t think I was in the wrong here- they didn’t handle the promotion correctly. And I feel horrible for saying this lie that I submitted when really I just wanted to submit and the actual submission happened later.

I feel like a fool for lying. So the guy who gave me the wrong info has no idea that he caused this and I am protecting him for absolutely no reason other than people pleasing tendencies. He also has no idea I’m doing this because I didn’t want to get him into trouble.

So what should I do now? Call the phone company and tell them what really happened? I feel so stupid. I’m waiting to hear if they process the promo for me anyway. But this is driving me nuts. Literally crying over this (ok I’m also sleep deprived so that might explain the excessive tears). It’s just never worth it to lie. Even if you do it to protect someone else. Ok, he made a mistake. Would it have cost him his job? Was I right for not pointing him out as the one who misinformed me?

Not sure what this was. Vent? Advice? Wwyd?

Success10

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:21 pm

I'm assuming this might be an extension of a larger OCD / anxiety problem? It's good to have high morals but what you're describing isn't healthy.

amother

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:23 pm

Success10 wrote:

I'm assuming this might be an extension of a larger OCD / anxiety problem? It's good to have high morals but what you're describing isn't healthy.

I don’t have either of those issues. I do overthink. But which part do you think is unhealthy? That I lied? Or that I lied because I didn’t want someone to get into trouble?

We try to raise our kids to tell tell the truth no matter what and here I am, an adult, telling a lie. That can easily be caught too. Ugh. Why did I do this?

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:29 pm

I mean, you submitted your phone in the end, right? So, it's not like you are stealing or anything. I would doubt that the company would even investigate. And if they do, they'll see the phone was eventually submitted and often these big companies have very good customer service.

I don't think this is something you need to worry about at all.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think reaction to the whole situation now is what's kind of unhealthy.

amother

Carnation

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

The overthinking part is unhealthy. You lied you made a mistake. Now you gotta move on

Success10

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:34 pm

It's not healthy to obsess like this.

I do empathize with what you're going through. I can get like this too sometimes, overthinking things. What helps me is to ask myself what if somebody was going through my dilemma and asked me for advice. What would I say to them? I probably would tell them that theyre being ridiculous and that they need to calm down. Pretend you didn't write the OP. What would you advise the OP after reading that post?

amother

DarkPurple

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:42 pm

I get the intense reaction to lying. Lying feels terrible and unsafe and leaves you feeling scared you’ll be caught or have to figure out what to say in the future to avoid exposing your lie.

I doubt he would have gotten fired, people are allowed to make mistakes at their jobs. If he keeps saying this to people then he’ll keep inconveniencing people and will end up being reported by someone and will be properly trained at that point.

amother

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 7:41 pm

Thanks for your replies.
I guess I’m upset about a couple of things.

Lying- I would be disappointed if my child lied. How is the truth negotiable?

Falling for my people pleasing tendencies- I put everyone before myself and I’m not always happy about. I’ve been struggling with this for years.

I might have to pay almost $1,000 now if the promo doesn’t go through. I wish I was more responsible and figured this whole thing out earlier before the time frame expired.

Maybe it will work out in the end. Iyh. But I feel guilty (that’s another familiar feeling for me) and also upset how I messed up in multiple ways. I guess im hard on myself.

Of course if it was someone else I’d tell them not to sweat it.

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 8:31 pm

you sound like me
hugs
I dont have any sage advice

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 8:46 pm

delete double post