At what point would you take tzedakah?

amother

Eggshell

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 6:02 pm

for sure you can ask, you sound like a very ehrlicha person. You are both working and doing what you can. Ive seen pple take tzedakah and misuse money their given. You are trying your best, you definetly shouldnt feel bad.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 6:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Based on where we are right now financially, there is no way (b'derech hatevah) that we can afford Pesach food. That doesn't mean we won't buy food but it does mean that we will put it on the credit card with no plan of how we can pay it back which we have BH never done before. We manage day-to-day by living very frugally. New clothing for Pesach won't happen for anyone in my family but we will be ok without it. We do, however, need to buy food, matzah, wine, etc. which all cost so much. Is it right to get food for Pesach from Tomchei Shabbos or do I put it on my credit card and daven that Hashem send us a way to pay it off?

Question for your LOR.
May Hashem fill your home with everything you need and more, for Pesach and every day of the year.

amother

DarkOrange

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 6:49 pm

We have never taken TS, but are 1000s in CC debt, each time thinking well, I'll pay it off next month, next tax break, next bonus... etc.... Well, now that I have to make Purim & Pesach this year (previously normally would go to family for both, or at least 1) and now that I have teenagers that actually eat a lot (plus all their other needs), have literally nothing in budget for purim or pesach.
DO NOT PUT ANYTHING ON CREDIT CARDS WHEN YOU CAN NOT AFFORD IT, ASSUMING YOU WILL PAY IT OFF LATER. Credit cards are not free money.
Use whatever resources you have available in your community. IY"H you will be able to repay it later.

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 7:01 pm

Please take!
We are set up as a community (by Hashem!) to catch eachother when we fall.
The biggest form of Tzedakah is to give someone a loan so that they can stand on their feet.
Cc debt is no joke.

naturalmom5

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 8:18 pm

DONT be too proud to take
As long as you are doing everytging you can to make parn
Let others help you and iyh pay it forward

amother

Alyssum

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 8:42 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

DONT be too proud to take
As long as you are doing everytging you can to make parn
Let others help you and iyh pay it forward

I agree, but it's not just pride. There's a whole bunch of other feelings in the mix. It's a lot. I'm not a proud person. I'm happy to take help when offered. But this is different. It cuts deeper.

amother

PlumPink

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 8:50 pm

I think the strongest point to consider is that if taking now (as mentioned, they get better prices so didn’t pay regular retail so are therefore giving the same for less cost than it would cost you) will keep you from debt, from which ultimately the community will need to dig you out, then do it. Take.

amother

Cappuccino

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 8:50 pm

OP, I am in a similar situation.
We had a long talk with our Rav.
What he pointed out is that there are not community initiatives if we can't pay our electric bill this month. There's no tzedaka to cover our mortgage/rent, tuition.
If we push and extend ourselves for Yom Tov food, it will likely come at the expense of tuition or mortgage and no ones coming to help us with that when we get stuck

amother

Lightblue

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 9:52 pm

As soon one considers taking tzedaka then I believe it’s a sign that you could take. Asking for tzedaka is terribly hard so as soon as someone asks themselves if they should take it’s a sign that there isn’t a better choice.

Signed by: someone who needs tzedaka but is too embarrassed to ask