(Precious but) Very Stubborn 9 Month Old

amother

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 8:40 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

Is your baby physically uncomfortable on the floor? I’m a few months behind you here, with a baby who hated tummy time, toys, swings… a baby carrier helps, but I also did daily massage for a while to help relax muscles. Now we are ok with tummy time, toys, swings, but the baby always prefers personal attention. I always start with a lot of interaction, then put him down to play. If he complains, I join him for a while and see if he’ll go back to playing on his own. If it doesn’t work, I pick him up and try again later. I don’t need the carrier on a daily basis anymore.

Other tricks: a toilet gel stamp works pretty well to keep your toilet bowl clean. I have a robot vacuum/mop that I can run in the evenings, keeps things pretty presentable. At nine months, wear your baby on your back, you’ll be able to do more things like washing dishes, chopping veggies, etc. If you have older kids, assign tasks that are age appropriate to help- they can do their own laundry at seven, really. Sit the baby in a high chair while you clean around him, so you can interact without holding. And remember that this phase will pass.

Would you have massage links/ideas you can share ? I would love to try this

mummiedearest

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 11:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

Would you have massage links/ideas you can share ? I would love to try this

I did some face massage recommended by a lactation consultant to help with latch. I don’t have a link, unfortunately. Then stretch the arms open to the side and closed across the torso. Don’t pull, just encourage. Raise arms up and put them down one at a time. Then I just gave a nice rub down, arms, legs, front, back. I did all this with the baby in just a diaper, they love direct touch. I also rubbed the bottoms of feet and did some rhythmic rocking lying on the back and on each side.

Watch a few baby massage videos on YouTube and get some ideas. See what your baby likes. I hope it helps!

amother

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:15 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

thanks for the tips!

amother

Mayflower

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Tips please!!

My children are very very smart from when they are tiny; they're born with alert eyes, looking around, dont want to sleep like newborns as if they want to see the world (in fact, they hardly sleep)...
They talk basic words and make animal sounds at 8 months. Along with this personality, they end up being extremely demanding, they want to be held all the time, not allowing me to put them down for even a half a minute....... extremely attached.
I need to cook supper, wash toilets, sweep floors etc with them in my hands...
To help myself, I added an extra day cleaning help when I have that age baby so I am avaialbel to hold my baby...

But.... any ideas? the baby that cries non-stop until taken out of the crib?? until picked up from the floor?? The baby that if she plays on the floor for 5 minutes, mom runs to check if shes ok!! What do we do with her?

Thanks!

Why is she crying non stop until
you take her out of the crib? Just take baby out of the crib.

amother

Mayflower

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

till what age...?
also looking for night time ideas, she can cry for hours, even after being fed.. until I take her into my bed Wink

This is the problem, why are you having her cry for hours? That's traumatic. Just take her into your bed right away or soothe her in her crib. But don't have her cry for hours. She is so little still. The more you are there for her when she is little the more secure she will be long term.

Its very hard but baby wearing and lowering your standards can make a big difference to being able to be there for her. Good luck!

amother

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:52 pm

amother Mayflower wrote:

its impossible to put the full situation down but you could trust me, im a good mother, I dont let her cry if im able to hold her... she only cries when its a must... otherwise I carry her around and shes happy on me... watching my every move..
being that my hub says im spoiling her, thats what I was looking to change; I need her to play on the floor without crying or be able to put herself back to sleep if shes fed and taken care of.
shes delicious and bright and we love her . she is being home schooled and has way too much knowledge a 9 month old normally has...
the personality has two sides.. and im more than glad to deal with it.
I followed some tips I got above, I gave her a 90% mark last night and today, hooray! well hope for the best!!
Thanks everyone

amother

Mayflower

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:10 pm

There is no such thing as spoiling a baby. Thats great that you take her around with you. It's confusing that you are referring to her being home as homeschooled, babies that age aren't in school. The most important gift you can give her is being there for her. The rest will come as she matures naturally.

amother

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:33 pm

[quote="amother Mayflower"]There is no such thing as spoiling a baby. Thats great that you take her around with you. It's confusing that you are referring to her being home as homeschooled, babies that age aren't in school. The most important gift you can give her is being there for her. The rest will come as she matures naturally.[/quot

thanks for your input.
come see her for yourself Smile

you wouldnt believe it. every last word is true.

amother

Bellflower

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 12:54 am

I bet people are saying "wow time flew" because I posted basically this about my 5 month old 2 months ago. He's 7 months old now but still like this. I think my posts were called things like "nursing ALL night" and "how do you live like this." I'm still not sure and teetering on the brink of depression.

I've been trying to just give him everything he wants, hoping it will fill his cup and make him feel securely attached or whatever so he'll be less needy and demanding and I don't think it's working. I mean maybe it's working for meeting his emotional needs but it's not making him less demanding.

Several times recently I actually woke up dh at 2am begging for a break and one day last week he actually took off from work to save me from a nervous breakdown (it worked but the effects are wearing off and he can't afford to do it more than maybe a few times a year.)

I don't have any answers, just joining the party here. While I'm nursing the baby for a ridiculous length of time for the umpteenth time tonight. (He actually fell asleep without nursing. And let me put him down on the 2nd try. It was wonderful. It lasted 20 minutes. It was a very productive 20 minutes but I have a lot more than 20 minutes worth of increasingly urgent things to attend to.)

I have never made Pesach with one hand before. I wonder what that's like. Will we eat? Will we have to burn the house with the chometz? I finally found a babysitter who seems able to handle him but she's going away two whole weeks before Pesach. Maybe we should all get together and let our needy babies have a pity party while we cook.

amother

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 9:11 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

I know what you mean! im with you Heart

eveything is done with one hand........ everything

Rabbit613

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 8:47 am

I didn't read everything so I'm not sure this is relevant.
My oldest was extremely advanced and was very stubborn. I realized later on when I had more experience that I treated my oldest like he was much older than he actually was.
I expected alot from him even as a baby because he was so verbal and communicative but really he was still not mature enough emotionally.
Another child of mine was similar to my oldest and kept reminding myself that he was still a tiny baby and only needed love and snuggles. This child has an easier personality and I think it may be because of the way I responded to him.

hyhy12

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 9:52 am

This is my babies . All of them . I hired extra help . Lowered expectations ( and then lowered them again ) his naps are super short and I try to relax for five minutes and then use the other 20 to speed make dinner clean whatever I can . I injured my back ( from carrying him all day , I had back issues before this but it became way worse ) .
I would love to baby wear but I don’t think I can . Now that the weather is nicer I take two hour walks , to to give my arms a break .

amother

Honeysuckle

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:03 am

This is me completely my baby cried at night in the crib until 2 years old I wld be feeding her all night I tried sleeping with her but she wldnt be comfortable and try to kick me out of my own bed. Happy to say she’s 2 1/2 and finally sleeping through the night I had to put my foot down for a couple nights she learned she cldnt get her way with coming out of the crib. One of my most stubborn high strung kids ever. Also started talking 8 months she acts like an adult now but I remind myself she’s still not 3 yet. I spent ALOT of time on the floor playing with her she plays nicely herself BH after starting school. I agree abt the other poster prob shd do some craniosacral therapy etc

dancingqueen

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:44 am

amother OP wrote:

You are “homeschooling” a 9 month old? Babies that age just need your love and attention, not grades and marks. Which baby books or parenting gurus are you following?

amother

Alyssum

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:58 pm

amother Mayflower wrote:

At 9 months, babies can def be behavior trained.
If they've been held all the time until this point, of course they are used to and want to be held by Mommy. Agree with slow behavior play changes.
I'm just confused how your baby is learning how to turn over and crawl and so on if she's being held 24/7. Unless you're exaggerating Smile

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 11:52 am

amother Alyssum wrote:

I make sure she gets her tummy time but she hates it. shes physically delayed but very smart and interactive.
no marks no grades, maybe I should edit that post where I wrote homeschooling....
she knows how to respond with yes and no correctly, she can respond with at least 5 correct animal sounds , says totty, mommy, bobby, pamper in the right times. waves for hi when her siblings come home, makes bye when people go... knocks on window, splashes in bathtub... shes really funny.
like I said, this personality is two sides, very sharp and she know what she wants.... to be held...