Worth millions and still breaking our heads how to live...

amother

DarkOrange

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:08 pm

Op I can so relate to.. Im not worth millions but pretty well off and used to live on a real stingy budget.
bus as much as a stinged the more sudden expenses came up Medical/Therapy/abig move.
I came to the point that its a real emunah thing you have to really accept and fully believe that what and how much is bashert for you to have you will. Once you accept that you will live more relaxed and not worry about the future as much as anyone else.

amother

Peach

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

I just want to share and would love to hear if there are any helpful tips...

My husband and I saved extremely after the wedding and invested everything in real estate. BH, we managed to reach a nice portfolio with a net worth of several millions and a nice monthly profit.
We BH have 4 children and live in our own apartment with a low mortgage on it.

We earn a total of around 20K a month and really try to live only from 10K a month and invest the rest back in real estate.

The problem is that I see a lot of people around me who live in rentals and earn much less than me but still go on more vacations than us, wear brand names, go to expensive restaurants and of course go to Florida for Pesach, and this makes me really confused about how to live and how much to save for the future
(We also go on vacations and restaurants, etc. but not in the same amount)

It just drives us crazy. all day we are busy thinking about how much we should spend and from how much we should live.

I wonder what others think.

Those people are most likely not saving money.
Or are being supported in some way.
Or are on government programs.
I'd rather have a ton of savings & investments, then go on vacations & restaurants.

amother

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:15 pm

tichellady wrote:

Do either of you work? Because a few million is not enough for a frum family to live off forever typically

Sorry, I don't understand your question. Why is such an income/net worth, not enough? Keep in mind also that the rents we collect is going up every year.

amother

Poinsettia

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

From most answers here, I guess we need to start thinking more about living the present and not thinking about the future as much, how we do it? It's in both of ours nature to worry about those things.

Hi op.

I understand your question.

I also struggle with this

amother

Alyssum

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:18 pm

My attitude is you don’t know how long you will live and you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. So I make sure to enjoy today and not only live for the future. It’s simply not healthy to save so much when you can easily afford to enjoy life and save plenty.

tichellady

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sorry, I don't understand your question. Why is such an income/net worth, not enough? Keep in mind also that the rents we collect is going up every year.

If you are trying to live off $10k a month while paying for private school then you are not going to be living a lavish lifestyle. If you want that lifestyle you need to spend more money. I would prefer to not live that way for various reasons.

I don’t understand how much you are making each month vs saving. It sounds like you are stressed because you don’t have a definite income if I understand correctly. Most people know how much money they will make each year and are not living off savings

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:27 pm

Op I just saw your post without the responses and completely do not understand your issue. You're complaining that you made conscious decisions to living minimally and investing while others chose to live with higher standards on lower income. So if you're jealous you're welcome to go ahead and change that.
I'm not sure what you want others to suggest here

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

My problem is that I don't understand how other ppl. don't think about money as much as me, we are thinking ahead and are nervous about marrying our kids off, and giving them a future and about my pension.

I guess my question is how could you live the present without freaking out about the future.

So now you have a different issue, you're concerned for other peoples future..
Why don't you just go and mind your own business

amother

Cognac

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:32 pm

OP, it sounds like you're looking for the freedom to spend money without the guilt of being irresponsible. You have to figure out what your financial goals are (fund bar mitzvah, chasunas, support, retirement, etc) and make sure you're putting aside enough for these things. Then you can spend the rest and enjoy! A financial advisor could help work out these simulations based on your personal situation.

But yes, most people are not as anxious and disciplined as you. I think having a clear plan would make you feel comfortable spending the money you have.

Some people choose a percentage of their income to save/invest and spend the rest. But I don't think you'd be satisfied with that, even if it's a significant percentage.

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:35 pm

Don't you see how Hashem has been providing for you all this time? He is giving you money every day. You have real estate worth tons and get rent all the time?? Is this by chance? Start learning some books on emuna and bitachon. Please do normal things. Don't be the only sibling not wanting to chip in for family kiddush or baby gift. Send your kids to daycamp. Please. And please buy your kids normal clothing that they and you feel good about themselves. And get them shabbos shoes at a normal age. It's great to save money, but know that Hashem has enough money for everyone and He can give you 20x if He wants to.

amother

Hyacinth

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:39 pm

The Torah says, who is smart? One who sees the future. איזהו חכם הרואה את הנולד פרקי אבות

You are right that many people don't think about the future as they think they will always make the same income. Sadly, it's not the case. These people have access to loans etc. Look around in every community many who used to "live the high life " can no longer offered it because they didn’t save when Hashem gave the plenty. They blew most f it.

We all know that the Torah says that when a rich person loses his money, we should help him with loans for a bit of time, until they recover so they can keep up their business like appearance in order for others to agree to do business with them so they can get back on their feet. So Yes, save and spend responsibly.

amother

Ultramarine

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:45 pm

You can connect with frum finance org. Thy have software that runs thousands of monte carlo simulations of all scenarios based on your current situation and all your future goals etc. which will show you how much you need to save each month for retirement/simchas etc.

https://frum.finance/

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:48 pm

erm wrote:

Living on 10k a month is really not a lot when paying for a Jewish lifestyle.

Was going to say the same. 10k is very little. You should be living off 15k and saving 5k a month in my opinion. Things will likely still be tight. But you’ll have more breathing room. And That’s still a significant amount of money going into your investments.

amother

Mustard

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:38 am

OP you have millions yet are going through life suffering like the poorest of the poor, and it’s self inflicted. My grandparents were like this. Always getting hand me downs. Eating fruit and vegetables even if they were going so as not to waste money. Being frugal with toilet paper. Driving beater cars. Always worrying. Always stressed out about how to save even more money. Never enjoying the here and now.

In their old age the small fortune they had amassed that was supposed to support all the grandchildren was completely lost by a son who thought he knew what he was doing and invested it in a failed business proposition.

Please use the money wisely. Invest some but make sure your family enjoys a normal stress free lifestyle now. You will never get these years or quality of life back no matter how much money you save.

There’s a limit to how much one is supposed to plan out their lives and to what degree one is supposed to trust in Hashem. Sit back, relax, and let Hashem worry about your kid’s retirement!

You are better off financially than 98% of your community. Don’t afflict yourself with the stress of the bottom 10%.

camp123

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:01 am

There are spenders and savers. I'm naturally like you, a saver but my husband is a spender so we have a balance together.
Being irresponsible isn't good but being overly cautious isn't either. You should learn about bitachon and trust Hashem will give you what you need. There is no need to spend on expensive vacations and jewelry but living without stress and buying what you need without worrying is important. Giving extra money to tzedaka will help you on your emunah and ability to spend more.

amother

Puce

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:03 am

I would recommend sitting with a financial advisor.

Of course you need to save for the future. But you said you are worth millions. You should probably balance your portfolio a bit - everything in real estate only isn't super smart.

Set up marrying of your kids funds - if you put $1000 a month into a mutual fund that brings you around 8%, you will have $600,000 after 20 years which is plenty.

Then up your giving and up the freedom you allow yourself to live. You should enjoy your money, but going out of control and living above the standard of the people around you isnt healthy either.