A little more put together

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 5:44 pm

Long skirts do not look good on me they are just easy. If I wear a dress or a short skirt I need to wear tights and that's really not comfortable.

Perhaps the answer is nicer tops. The ones I bought last season in the Jewish stores were not breathable material and so expensive.

I wear nice tichels (I think).
I need to wear special sneakers. Any way to make them look cute?

I appreciate all the tips!

I can also try to paint my nails. I go to mikvah so often if hardly ever feels worth spending the money on a manicure.

amother

Brown

Sun, May 05 2024, 5:47 pm

Might be too basic but make sure your bras and underwear are properly fit.
They are the structure to any outfit and help you look more put together.
Personally I let it slide for a little longer than needed and when I finally got a new pair that fit properly it really boosted my overall look and confidence.

For outfits I find that comfortable matching sets look more put together than a random top and black long skirt.

I think it’s important to figure out what your personal style preferences are so you can focus on that and slowly build up your comfortable but chic daily wear.

Regarding makeup if your skin is clear- lucky you!
If it isn’t I would suggest focusing on skincare first over makeup application.
And regarding eye makeup if it’s in your budget maybe try getting them professionally tinted or a tint & lift so it’s low maintenance on the daily.

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 5:49 pm

amother DarkCyan wrote:

OP, do you really want to do this?
Posters have given great ideas-
1. You don't want to wear nicer tops- why? that would actually make a world of a difference... They're ruining your shirt anyways why do you care what they ruin?
2. You don't want to wear makeup or eye makeup- just put it on! makes a world of a difference!!
These are my best suggestions, but I can't help you if you don't want to be helped...

I asked for nicer tops that are machine washable and comfortable, not that I'm not willing to wear different tops.

Do you know anything about glasses? I explained: My prescription is -1250, I cannot see to put on the makeup unless I wear contacts. I cannot wear contacts for long hours at a time, so for an occasion I put them on and wear eye makeup. Before kids my eyes could tolerate the contacts for longer.

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 5:51 pm

tigerwife wrote:

Would you wear sports clothes? A cute half zip, knee length flair skirt, black leggings, comfy new socks (I like the adidas sports ones) and a pair of new sneakers. You can wear all black if that’s what you like with a pop of color on the sneakers.

I could go this route!

Any recs for half zips and a good flair skirt. I tried a few from Amazon and they got see through in a few washes.

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 5:54 pm

amother Brown wrote:

Good call on the bras. I am not very large so I'm not as on top of it as I should be.

My skin is not clear, there's a bit of unevenness but I don't love foundation so I think I'll skip this step.

Is a tint an issue for mikvah? I like that idea. Where do you get such a thing done?

amother

Coffee

Sun, May 05 2024, 6:03 pm

I also have over -1000 script and I found lenses that work. Get to a great eye Dr and find lenses that fit well. That’s #1 most affordable way for you to change your look, put on makeup and look and feel dressed every day. They’re hard to find , but out there. After that, I think every woman needs to have facial hair under control, so no extra facial hair and well groomed eyebrows. Clear washed and moisturized skin, moisturized lips. After facial hair removal, all you need is freshly washed and moisturized skin, Laneige lip balm every night and am, bronzer, mascara, and pencil to fill in brows if necessary. As others said you can do lash lifts and tint eyebrows if necessary. More than that makeup is nice but usually not necessary. Tops you can do well on hm they have also plus size and super well priced. Cute maxi skirt and some new balance sneakers. A pretty wig for getting dressed up

amother

Calendula

Sun, May 05 2024, 6:03 pm

You can also Google dressing for ones body type
Dress your truth is one thing that I found fun to browse, (the woman who does it takes it quite seriously, not suggesting to even buy anything, but there's content to browse which helped me.)

I think a little eye makeup (liner & mascara), well moisturized lips, you can buy tinted ones, simple earrings & a necklace can go a long way to just feel a little more put together.

For easier outfits, especially with little ones & getting dirty, I think sticking to darker colors can be convenient, top & bottom also to have a bit of a slimming effect & then accessorize with jewelry & scarves although you mentioned wearing sheitles when you go out.

Finally, strength training is a great addition to boost getting into shape. If one can only do cardio, or strength training, the latter might go a longer way. If unfamiliar maybe invest in even just 1 session with a personal trainer, maybe can do it with someone else to split the cost, to learn how to properly do it safely, effectively (so its not a time waster, to be lifting enough, it won't bulk a woman up, but rather will tone & it has an exponential, positive effect on how one metabolizes food, very important too for aging), & to have good posture to be doing exercises properly.

Once one knows some basics, there's endless stuff online. A little a day can go a long way.

mummiedearest

Sun, May 05 2024, 6:12 pm

Shorter straight skirt, looser solid top (comfy tee is fine). Leggings instead of tights when weather appropriate. Get a watch and bracelet set and wear it daily. Bonus if your baby likes to teethe on it. Simple stud earrings. Moisturize your face daily- twice daily if you can. Include lip moisturizer. Very minimal makeup- I like a BB cream, blush/lip combo stick, light eyeshadow, mascara. That’s it. If you can find them, get cute supportive sneakers or sandals for the warmer weather if you wear them. If you want a pop of color but no wig, wear a patterned beanie/bandana/tichel/snood.

amother

Brown

Sun, May 05 2024, 6:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

I also hate foundation.
If you want you can try a tinted moisturizer
Or address it with skincare but that takes a few months to see results.

My rabbi said tints are not a problem at all but check with yours to get clarity

I know some rabbis allow you to go with a fresh manicure as well so if that’s something you would want to commit too you can ask about that as well

Where are you located? In Brooklyn there are either people who do this privately or salons that do waxing that also offer tinting and other related services

amother

Ruby

Sun, May 05 2024, 6:19 pm

Definitely agree that good quality leggings (alo, lulu), a knee length skirt (Mia mod for example) and nice quality sneakers (I like Autry but any on-trend or clean white is good) is more put together than a maxi skirt if you are dressing for comfort. Also, to make fashion sneakers more comfortable I always use a good dr Scholls insert (available on Amazon, trim to size- game changer and usually eliminates need for ugly shoes). Even a knee length zip up sweatshirt dress (like Dress Blank for example) with leggings and nice sneakers is better than a long slinky skirt with a random top.

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 6:24 pm

amother Ruby wrote:

I think this is the direction I'm going to try to go in.
How much longer can I wear leggings? Smile

amother

Firebrick

Sun, May 05 2024, 6:25 pm

I Didn’t read everything but I’m similar life stage.
First thing is to buy nice snoods and throw the old ones out.
Then buy cute sneakers. Throw old ones out.
Then new skirts. Can even be long black slinkies. That’s what the cute SAHM in my neighborhood wear. But nice and new.
Throw old ones out.
Get into simple and nice makeup routine.
And last is nice tops but I find that the hardest.
Throw out the old stuff so you’re not tempted to wear it.
Maybe get a manicure every two/three weeks.

amother

Ginger

Mon, May 06 2024, 2:18 am

OP, there are lots of good ideas here! Just want to add that I met someone years ago who was super-put-together (very overweight) and looked way better than I did (normal weight).

She always wore black, but with fab vivid accessories - one day orange, one day lime, one day whatever - and you can go a long way with chunky jewellery, cute scarves etc! Her makeup was good (but even light makeup would work) and she honestly looked amazing.

tigerwife

Mon, May 06 2024, 2:23 am

Easy tops:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09K.....ss_tl

https://www.google.com/aclk?sa.....durl=

https://www.google.com/aclk?sa.....durl=

These are sports tees but you can really wear any tee.

I like the Shell Station skirts. I think the one I have is the halo.
https://theshellstation.com/co.....irt-1

I wear it with basic black leggings like Gap Body or Target.

Black or white socks depending on what color sneakers I wear. A little stripe on the sock is cute.

Luckily comfy sneakers are stylish now. I have ASICS, Sorel… you could probably rock anything clean.

amother

Charcoal

Mon, May 06 2024, 2:37 am

OP you sound so much like me, down to the sneakers for feet issues. The only thing I can say is what a previous poster said- it really might be worth it to look into trying different lenses. I had a very hard time keeping lenses in at one point and then my eye doctor gave me new ones to try (acuvue oasis hydraluxe) and now I can wear them for hours and hours and forget about them. When I go out, I’m wearing a long black skirt and comfy sneakers but I put on lenses, nice makeup, and a pretty sheitel and it makes a world of a difference. I wonder if that could work for you too.

amother

Ginger

Mon, May 06 2024, 3:02 am

amother Charcoal wrote:

Another vote for oasys lenses!

amother

Stonewash

Mon, May 06 2024, 4:07 am

I really feel your pain. I could have been writing something very similar
My three step plan for myself and adapt for yourself
1. Tights that have no runs. I’m worth more than that
2. Shoes that are comfortable and not worn out . I wear SAS metro loafers
3. Foundation garments that fit correctly. If you can tuck your cleavage into your waist band they aren’t working right
It was amazing what a difference it made in how I felt about myself. There are more steps and ironically once I felt pretty I did not want to eat junk or do any of the other self destructive things I fell into when I looked and felt yuck

amother

Stonewash

Mon, May 06 2024, 4:09 am

amother Steel wrote:

I find walking 20 min a day rly helps me.
Also put on make up change style of your wig maybe a pony wig.
Wear white ironed shirt with black pleated skirt and a cute vest. Shein has a bunch for really cheap.

For the amply endowed set a white shirt (or any shirt) is a nightmare

amother

Stonewash

Mon, May 06 2024, 4:11 am

amother Ginger wrote:

I think it was me you met. I can’t believe anyone remembers my orange scarf and statement necklaces