PLEASE turn down the volume

dveikus

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 3:34 pm

There hav been articles in the magazines lately about hearing loss after loud events. I find the volume of the music at simchas to be so loud my ears hurt at times. The way to change this is when you hire a musician, let him know up front that you will not allow him to raise the music too loud, and make sure he agrees to lower it if you ask.

I have never had the nerve to complain to any of my hosts at a simcha. I suffered in silence - um, well, I suffered in noise! The only one who can make this change is the host/hostess. If you agree, then please make this clear to your musicians. IY"H when I make simchas in the future, I will definitely make this an issue. I certainly do not want o cause hearing damage to any of the adults, children, or babies in attendance.

(I can't see why I would get attacked for this post, but if anyone is tempted - please don't.)

amother

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 3:50 pm

my husband sells hearing aids and my FIL is an audiologist, so they were sure to tell our band at the wedding to keep it under a certain volume. if the bands keep it up, my husband will have gr8 business in the future LOL

anon cuz ANYONE who knows me will find out my SN based on this post lol!

Basya

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 3:50 pm

I want to bring the other perspective to your attention. Many times the ba'al simcha specifically requests that the band play loudly. Many times the ba'al simcha says to the musician "Just do whatever my son, the chosson wants!". The chassanim lately like to have it loud and blasting, and the musician is left with no choice but to listen to the one footing the bill.
Even if another person were to come to the musician requesting otherwise, the musician is hired by the customer, that that is who he has to please.
You definitely are right about setting the rules when you make your own simcha, but please don't always feel that it is the musician's fault, because that is not always the case.
Another tip for you is to always look to see where the speakers are located, and make sure to stay as far away as possible away from them, as the volume is surely the loudest when you are standing right in front of a speaker.
Please be aware that I agree fully that the music is too loud, but I just wanted you to realize that you cannot always blame the band.

busydev

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 3:52 pm

by my wedding my MIL (who paid for the band) gave them a talking to about the exact level of decibels that they could play at. (she did the same with bands she got for other weddings as well)

I agree wholeheartedly. I hate the weddings where your entire body is thumping with the music and you have to text your seat mate since there is no way that you can expect to be heard. (ok, that's a slight exaggeration... but not much!!)

Fox

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 5:13 pm

I'm wondering: is there any kind of small, inexpensive device that could give a decibel reading at various distances away from the band? I've frequently seen situations where the band was told to keep it soft, but the volume gradually crept up, and no one was willing to argue with them.

Last year I was given some modest authority regarding a particular event, and I told the rabbi in charge that I was making him responsible for keeping the band under control, and that if he didn't, I would march across into the men's section and pull the amp cord out of the wall.

Musically-savvy DD pointed out that I wouldn't know which cord to pull if my life depended on it, which was true. So I said that I'd drag her with me and simply point for her to do the dirty work.

I love to be able to say, "Look, here's what's considered safe, and here's where the band falls on the meter. No room for opinions."

jaysmom

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 5:25 pm

I completely agree. The volume at these weddings is horrible. I get such paranoia. Especially, when I see young children and babies near the dance floor. I know most people aren't as worried as I am about babies, but I am pretty sure I am right- get those babies out! I think that balei simcha should either insist that the band maintain a healthy volume if they want their $ or have earplugs on the tables.

Basya

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 5:30 pm

" if he didn't, I would march across into the men's section and pull the amp cord out of the wall. "

I have heard this so many times, and I find it so funny to hear. Here is what goes through my head when I hear this-

1) The power is usually located right by the band - usually behind them - are you willing to climb over the musicians and lean across their lap to reach for the outlet?

2) Okay, so let's say that you do pulll the plug. 1) Will that even make a difference, it's not that hard to get it plugged right back in, unless you hang on to that wire and cause a scene which will no undoubtedly cause the ba'al simcha extra stress on your account. 2) The chosson and Kallah as well as their parents will forever have a remembrance of your act, in their video or audio recording as well as their memory - and they will always say "oh, right that was when so and so pulled the plug - do you really want that???

Here is another tip that I heard about. How, about when responding to the invitation to the wedding you put in a small note saying " I would love to join in the simcha, please request that the band adhere to proper volume levels so that I can stay and enjoy your simcha with you".
This way, it's before the simcha, so the baal simcha still is able to request this from the band without having to hassle them at the actual simcha, and also if they hadn't thought of doing it, its a good reminder especially for parents making their first wedding that this is something to be discussed beforehand.

What do you think?

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 6:20 pm

I am often to be found, along with many of my family members, in the lobby or elsewhere in the simcha hall building where we can hear ourselves think and are not at risk for hearing loss. Several members of my family routinely bring earplugs to events.

There are some musicians who will play at a reasonable volume. Ask around before making a simcha; this sort of thing is advertised by word-of-mouth.

At my own wedding, the band was made well aware that they were not going to get paid if they didn't cooperate.

I suspect that many professional musicians have some degree of occupational hearing loss, and really might not understand how uncomfortable higher-volume music is.

Also, some musicians seem to think that the purpose of any party is to get all the guests on the dance floor and whipped into a frenzy. Some genuinely don't seem to understand that many guests want to talk to each other. I suppose there are party hosts (and guests) who agree, or the industry would not have developed the way it has.

Basya

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 7:24 pm

"At my own wedding, the band was made well aware that they were not going to get paid if they didn't cooperate. "

Wow, that sounds like the way I talk to my 2 year old. "If you don't be quiet, you are not going to get xyz."

Has anyone found that AT THEIR OWN simcha, they requested the band to lower the volume, and they did not listen? I doubt it.

You all are so quick to jump to conclusions. I agree the volume is out of control, but I don't automatically assume all musicians are villians.

little_mage

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 8:31 pm

ElTam wrote:

I agree. When the music is so loud, I dance for a few minutes to fulfill the mitzvah and spend the rest of the dancing in the lobby. Music is not loud like this at secular weddings, in my experience.

My experience has been the opposite. It's just as loud at secular weddings. The last wedding I was at, the problem was more that there was a full band and a fairly small room. The band was simply too big for the space.

CatLady

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 9:31 pm

My son, who is a hip-hop/punk musician, doesn't perform without earplugs. He doesn't want me going to any of his shows without them, either, because there is a risk of hearing damage. As much as I'd like to give Mrs. Hearing Aid amother's family a decent parnassa, I'd like it to be through regular assessments and not through preventable losses of hearing.

Last edited by CatLady on Wed, Dec 19 2012, 10:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

chocolate chips

Wed, Dec 19 2012, 10:36 pm

I have been to weddings where it is loud but not LOUD! By my brother in laws wedding it was so loud it was crazy and I was at a wedding where it was even louder I came home and my insides were still vibrating!!

I lost my voice many times...never my hearing bh.

SacN

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 10:50 am

I have been to several weddings where I was close enough to hear the Baalas simcha complaining about the volume, saying that despite having spoken to the band, the noise keeps getting loud again all too fast.

OTOH, Sometimes the music is totally fine--especially in a big hall.

amother

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 11:38 am

I am the amother above with the audiologist FIL and hubby who sells hearing aids... I myself am a musician and I know that a lot of bands play loudly just to sound better. they feel that if the music is loud then ppl will be up and dancing and having a better time, which is just wrong. we had a sound engineer with neshoma orchestra at my wedding... neshoma is so good they dont NEED to play loud for them to play nicely. the sound engineer simply modified and evened out the sound so that it didnt have to be super loud, but the sound was amazing.

there is an app on the iphone that shows decibel levels