Was I being rude? | Imamother

DrMom

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 1:18 am

I think it was a little rude. Yeah, she said she didn't mind getting up at 6:30am, but she may have just said that out of politeness.

I think your DH wins the rudeness prize here, though.

Simple1

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 4:43 am

Was the baby safely in a crib - meaning you would ordinarily leave her alone to play till you get up? If so, I think it's not at all rude, because your niece knew about the sleeping arrangements in advance and probably doesn't want to impose on you to get up special so that she can sleep longer.

I agree with Imasinger, maybe next time discuss it in advance, just so you and dh can feel better about it.

chani8

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 5:09 am

Tell your DH that he gets a great big "BOOOO" from imamothers, LOL, for bothering you, and shaming you, when he should have gotten to the child and let both of you women sleep!

He missed an opportunity for chessed and SB!!

groovy1224

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 5:17 am

I don't think I'd call it 'rude,' but just because she lives with kids jumping on her head doesn't mean she enjoys it- if I were her, (and I'm not, so maybe I'm wrong) I would be frustrated that everyone assumes I don't want to nap and enjoy taking care of other ppl's kids just bc I'm used to it. The fact that she said it was fine means nothing- what else was she gonna say??
I agree, not sure why DH couldn't help out, but I would definitely try and be more sensitive to her feelings next time. I personally hated it when I was single, and had the privilege of babysitting on shabbos day bc the 'grownups' wanted to nap.

English1

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 8:31 am

I used to have that relationship with my aunt! she would go to sleep and I would watch her kids. I would love helping her out by watching them. its much easier for me to catch up on sleep then it is for her. if you have that kind of relationship with your niece then dont worry about it. if your really nervous sit down n really talk to her about it. get a sence of how she feels. not just an "oo its fine"

as for your DH if the niece is from your side he may not feel as comfortable just relying on the fact that you think its ok, understandable he was thinking about her feelings as well. it could be he asked you to go check make sure it was ok bc he knows u have a relationship with her so she will b honest with you about wither or not she really wants to watch the baby. he doesnt.

greenfire

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 11:40 am

amother wrote:

Was I being rude in letting my niece, whom I've babysat many a-time so her parents could rest Shabbos afternoon, play with my baby so I could finish my nap?

payback's a b!tch ... was she aware of this arrangement when she was a baby ???

amother wrote:

I usually let my husband nap longer if he really needs it, so I didn't understand why he kept asking me to get up?

... And my husband was getting up anyway.

did he forget it was his baby too Confused

why do people always assume their shabbos guests need to care for their children - why all the tit-for-tat ...

chocolate chips

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 11:54 am

If he wasn't crying whats the problem?...
If your niece had a problem she could have brought the baby to you or covered her ears with a pillow.

Seriously, she was staying with you I don't think she was going to kick up a fuss that the baby was babbling.

Don't feel guilty...

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 1:26 pm

Op here,
The baby--a 1yr old--was babbling--and I heard them talking, she was playing with him--I don't know if he was in the pack-n-play or not. What was I going to do--take him away so I can take care of him when he's not crying? She loves playing with my kids.

FTR I think he wanted ME to come because he's been feeling awkward around her (he's been hanging out in our bedroom as much as possible while she's here) and wanted me there to interact with her, I'm just not sure why he rushed me to get up when he knew how tired I was and the baby was fine.

Thanks for backing me up.

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 1:27 pm

One more p.s.

He's usually very considerate which made this very out of character. Will have to inquire what the fuss was about.

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 1:54 pm

I was a guest at someone's home, and I think she just expected that I would take care of her kids one morning without mentioning to me.

I woke up to her kids looking into my room, and my daughter coming up to me and saying. "Mommy I think they want you to make breakfast, their mommy is sleeping."

It was not a problem, just wish she had talked to me before expecting me to do things.

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2013, 4:22 pm

amother wrote:

I can top you. I had guests in my home and the mom expected me to watch her kids because she liked to sleep on Shabbos. Her youngest was a toddler.