Are we-mothers really in control?

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Do the childrens mood affect the mothers mood or does the mothers mood affect in the childrens mood??

Mother's mood affects the children

79%

[ 50 ]

Children's mood affect the mother

20%

[ 13 ]

Total Votes : 63

hisweety

Fri, Dec 06 2013, 2:50 pm

Do the childrens mood affect the mothers mood or does the mothers mood affect in the childrens mood??

This is a question that I am trying to answer a long time now. The mother has the power to set the tone in the house, right?

Often times I find that I'm in a good mood, the tone in the house is comfortable and all of a sudden the kids go into a fight and BOOM! everything starts rolling downward so fast, obviously my mood goes along and I'm trying to change the dynamic as fast and as calm as possible which is not so easy to do when not in the best mood.

Parenting teachers often say 'happy mothers have happy children' is this really true? If you think its true then why do they have the power to change the tone in the house so fast?

LiLIsraeli

Fri, Dec 06 2013, 3:32 pm

I think it's both. The mother's mood influences her children, and the children's moods influence the mother. The difference is that being an adult, the mother has more control over her moods and can recognize the pattern before it becomes unhealthy.

I see it all the time: when I am stressed and tired, I end up yelling at my kids more, so they end up being upset and yelling and fighting more. When I am patient with them, they are much slower to fight, and when they do fight, it doesn't last as long. They are also more cooperative when I am not upset with them.

imasoftov

Sat, Dec 07 2013, 12:51 pm

Both can affect the other, and neither always affects the other.

~~All~~ many generalizations are wrong.

amother

Sat, Dec 07 2013, 8:07 pm

Sure, the mother sets the tone!

I noticed that many mornings when my kids wake earlier than me and fight, a cheerful good morning.with.a kiss.can set them all straight.

In the flip side, if a mother has a house full of angry monsters, she might be very powerless against them.

So really they both overlap.

wife2

Sat, Dec 07 2013, 8:15 pm

The mothers can control the mood to an extent. You can stay calm, patient, and loving but if you have a very tired, irritable, over-exhausted or hungry kid, their mood won't change until they have a good nap or eat something. Definitely staying happy helps change your kids mood. When they are scared and tense and you stay calm, they definitely sense that. If you get wound up and scared when they are hurt or sick, they get even more upset. The mothers mood has a major impact on her child and she is in control of calming them usually (not if they are off schedule or having a bad day that is out of her control)

zaq

Sat, Dec 07 2013, 9:40 pm

It's not an either-or, darling--it's both.

greenfire

Sat, Dec 07 2013, 10:25 pm

life is a 2 way street ... emotions are catchy both ways

Bruria

Sun, Dec 08 2013, 12:38 am

I think it works both ways too. Hard to say who affects who, each one affects the other, and hard to determine what started.

groisamomma

Sun, Dec 08 2013, 12:47 am

amother wrote:

Sorry, amother, this is OT but what's.with.the.periods.all.over? The last few days there was an OP and a bunch of posts by amother like this. Is it the smartphone?

pause

Sun, Dec 08 2013, 1:04 am

I didn't vote because I also think it's both. Yet, as mothers, we are expected to be adults and remain in control a lot longer and in more difficult situations than the children. So even if the kids are in a bad mood, a mother "should" stay calm whereas one cannot expect the same from children.

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