Awed, afraid, or apathetic?

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Sep 13 2015, 9:58 am

The fear and anxiety that grips many people this time of year comes from a view of Hashem as a terrifying powerful entity that can crush us with one blow... and that on Rosh Hashana He is looking at us with a judgy microscope to determine how to punish us for our sins.

Real yiras shamayim is more about being in awe of His power, greatness, and goodness - than about fear. Yet people do confuse the two.

I personally struggle with connecting to Hashem in any way, awe or fear.

I am coming towards Rosh Hashanah after another turbulent year. At this point I'm not even fantasizing about a good year, all I ask is to be able to handle whatever lurks around the corner. I guess I am almost apathetic about this Day of Awe, and my relationship with my Father, my King is distant and cold.

Dear God, I give up asking, I give up dreaming, I give up hoping for better days...

Just please help me make it through with my sanity intact so I can do Your will in the midst of all the pain.

PinkFridge

Sun, Sep 13 2015, 11:25 am

amother wrote:

What I've found helps me is reading the English when I daven and saying, I am accepting that these words are true, even if I don't feel them now. Yes, very hard to say words like Hashem is the rofeh cholim when we see He chose not to, or that He's rofeh l'shvurei lev umechavesh l'atzvosam. Or that the words Hashem Elokeichem Emes are enduring, correct, faithful, endearing etc.
But for me, it's very powerful.

Hugs and hatzlacha and a gut yohr!

MrsDuby

Sun, Sep 13 2015, 12:52 pm

I really enjoyed reading your post. yes, people do feel fearful this time of year and that is not how we should be feeling. We should be feeling a sense of awe.. a sense of "wow, G-d is magnificent, look at this beautiful world, look at all the goodness and all the blessings" and its awe b'simcha not with fear.

As someone who struggles with anxiety - RH and YK were (and still are to some degree) very hard on me because of how society makes it into be. I'm working on shirking the guilt and negative emotions connected with it. Im getting there! Smile

I think in my opinion, that you can ask HaShem for hte strength and courage to face whatever this year brings with a knowing that everything HaShem sends you will be good no matter what it is. I see it more as a confidence that things will always work out for your highest and best good even if you dont always know what it is at the time.

And of course we wish people a "sweet" year - so that we should know and see clearly that its good ...

wishing you a shana tovah umetuka...

mo5

Tue, Sep 15 2015, 9:45 am

I'll add another option. Uplifted.
Rosh hashana is not meant to be a scary day but a day of remembering how much Hashem does for us and accepting him as malkeinu- our king.
Remember though too, that we title Hashem as avinu - a father who will give to His children just 'because'.
May Hashem grant you with all you need and with revealed good.