Stupid Sundays | Imamother

amother

Brunette

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 4:25 pm

I have three kids and my husband works a regular day on Sundays, getting home at about 5:30. The kids wake up at 7, I stay in bed until someone drags me out. Then I change diapers, give out food (and try not to notice all the havoc the children have caused in the half hour I tried to keep snoozing). Then they usually start coloring and playing with toys. At some point they get board and start dumping things/destroying things, at which point we either skype the grandparents or play on the ipad. Kids eat lunch Baby goes in for a nap, while bigger ones pick a toy they cannot do when baby is around. Baby wakes up. I bake cookies or make dinner. Kids eat again, even though it's not lunch or dinner time. By now, all the kids are hanging on me and really need to go out or have a playdate, but I am too tired to do something by myself out of the house, and usually can't figure out a playdate. So I escape to my computer, turn on the ipad again, and let the kids run wild. By now its about 4:30 and I am just telling myself--one more hour, one more hour...then my husband can help with dinner-baths-bedtime. I feel so bad for them that so many of our Sundays are like this. In the house all day, so low key...so lonely and boring for me as well...When my husband walks in all I want to do is take a bath and watch a movie, even though I haven't moved all day either. I don't know what I want here...I guess validation and easy solutions to make it better?

amother

Mauve

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 4:40 pm

Hey so I totally get u. I hate to label myself bad mom cuz really im not-I just dont do sundays. I'm a couch potatoe. I feel Cholenty if u get what I mean. I can't be bothered w playdates. I dont budge like I said and dnt wana smile at anyone elses kid. Is it any consolation that it gets easier as they grow up?! These days my boys are out till 3 and girls I ignore half the day. I let them bake or buy them nice craft options. I try to be nice and let them make a mess. And honestly though there is always room for guilt I really think they are fine. Some of the cutest lines and most creative activitys come out then. Can't be that bad

thunderstorm

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 4:44 pm

Number 1#. Go to sleep early on Motzoai Shabbos so that you are well rested Sunday Morning. I wake up at 6:30 Sunday mornings to start on my housework. But I make sure to go to sleep at a decent hour the night before
Number 2#. Kids need to get out and so does Mama. Even if it means to go to a store . It also kills time. In nicer weather take them to a playground while you sit on a bench and watch them.
Number #3. Keep in mind your DH worked all day and though you are wiped out, he definitely is and you need to give him some down time before bombarding him with doing baths etc. it's not fair to him. You should be taking care of the situation during the day in a way that you don't get so fed up that by the time he walks in the door you want to throw the kids in his face. Imagine you were the one out of the house working all day and you came home to having to do baths etc while DH locked himself in his room and watched movies. You wouldn't be happy about that.
Number #4 You are entitled to your space and down time. A couple hours after DH comes home you can ask him to tend to the baby and maybe supervise bedtime, while you go lie down or do whatever you want to do.
The goal is to make Sunday's more enjoyable for all and not so depressing.

Raisin

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 5:19 pm

I agree the key is to take them out. My husband is home sundays but usually working or trying too. We do try and get out together especially in the summer. But if not I go out with the kids, especially the little ones.

In the summer you can take a picnic to the park. If the baby will sleep in the stroller you can do bigger trips like the beach or zoo or kids museum.

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 6:21 pm

You have to get out, and also add more structure to your time at home.

If the kids are up at 6:30 and the 2-year-old doesn't nap until 12, you have plenty of time to get out earlier in the day, which will give them time to burn off some energy and have a change of scenery.

Go to a park (yes, even in the winter), an indoor play space, join some local places - like a children's museum and a zoo - so you can alternate between a few familiar places.

By the time you come home, you'll all be ready for some quiet time, and that 12-2 block can be low-key for everyone, not just the kid who naps.

Then you just have 2-5:30 to get through, which can be games/toys/planned craft/backyard play/neighbor or cousin visit/helping to make supper/reading books etc.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 7:49 pm

amother wrote:

This is everything I would have written, so glad I read through all the posts. The only thing I would add is in addition to going to bed early motzei shabbos is to make sure that you’ve also done a full clean up before bed. This way you can wake up (hopefully we’ll rested) to a clean house with toys put away, tables cleared, dishes done etc. I find that makes a huge difference to the start of my day.

daagahminayin

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 9:11 pm

amother wrote:

I like your style, Mauve amama!

OutATowner

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 9:35 pm

Sundays are not easy.
Can you have a "Sunday box" filled with things like finger paint (non toxic) or water paint, special markers and stickers. Kids love scissors, paper, and glue.
Can you make cookie dough and let them make shapes and add chocolate chips?
Bath time is an activity for us I have a few basic toys, and dsbrings in some plastic figurines, while one kid is in the bath (not 2 year old) I leave the door open and do something in that hallway- laundry, read books to other kids, just chill...
Can your 7 year old make a "school" for the younger ones? Buy him/her a clipboard, some notebooks and small things like that, my oldest loves running "circle time" etc.
Also, going to the store doesn't have to be a whole shopping list. You can give the older two a picture of something, go on a hunt for it, and buy it. It can be hot dog buns and ketchup.
Good luck op, my kids are only a little older and it does get easier.

Queen6

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 11:12 pm

I know everyone said it but I’ll say it’s again. Your planning is terrible. Sitting on the couch and watching the clock tick will never work. You’re kids are at good ages it’s not that hard to get out. If your two year old doesn’t get a good nap once a week everything will be fine. Each Sunday you need a plan out of the house for at least two hours.
Pet store
Dicks Smile

Grocery stores that have two seats in the shopping cart so everyone is more contained
Library
Barnes and noble
Amy fun zones
Visit grandparents
Go with another family
Whatever it is keep thinking mind over matter and if you keep busy it will end up so much better.

farina

Sun, Jan 14 2018, 11:26 pm

Yes like many said you MUST get out.maybe get a girl to babysit while baby naps so u can go out w the two older ones.go to Michaels or amazing savings if u have one nearby and buy crafts for the afternoon.hatzlocha.hope uade it thru the day. I also find Sundays hard.sometimes in the evening when dh gets home ( he also works all day Sunday till about six) he'll babysit and I'll go out myself for an hour to unwind.

Iymnok

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 3:32 am

Membership that includes more than one attraction.
Give up on an organized nap for the baby occasionally. You can put him to bed early if it's just a short nap in the car. It's just not worth being tied down to a nap. Even if you have a cranky kid later on, it's better than three cranky kids now.
Have a special Sunday breakfast that the kids could get themselves, (ex: muffins and yogurt) with minimal mess. A quiet activity they could do themselves to give you a few more minutes of sleep, simple A&C, maybe get some fun markers, glitter markers, black paper, multi colored paper, dot paint, stamps... if you think enough in advance, you could leave simple directions for a project.
Then when you get up, you will have the emotional energy for a fun day.

saw50st8

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 7:53 am

My best piece of advice is get up before your kids. I try to wake up at 5:30 on a sunday (sleeping in for me, during the week it's 4:30) and have a cup of coffee in peace. My kids will play pretty nicely from 6-7, then get dressed, daven and get out of the house. As long as we get out, get some of our energy used up, we can have a lazy evening.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 9:24 am

Please please stop making op (and me) feel guilty for these types of sundays...I always hate Sundays...I have newborn and no car, so no, we aren't gping out in the freezing...Sometimes, friends come over randomly, but me and the kids are totally lazy...and yes going crazy...and when her husband comes home, YES, she can go take a break...she is working too! With thr kids! Without a lunch break or quiet yime etc...