Unpopular Opinions

InnerMe

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:25 am

My unpopular opinion (I'm ready for the tomatoes) is that hurtful judgement calls disguised as unpopular opinions are not cool.

That said, I'm enjoying many posts here that are neutral, and not aimed at what people wear/do/act but just general ideas, that offer an alternate perspective.

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:32 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

That is so ridiculous. I look great in my Pom Pom hats. My husband loves the way I look. You don’t like them? That’s fine. But don’t judge my self confidence based on the hat I wear.

If you look back on the thread you'll find I haven't commented on pompoms at all, only on the way some women make choices. So I'm sorry I've been a catalyst to hurting you. One of my goals in life is never to hurt a person in any way. So please look back. It wasn't me. Sorry

dvorak613

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:37 am

eema of 3 wrote:

1. I am all for epidurals for those who want them, but my labor, delivery, and recovery were so much better with my unmedicated birth.
2. Same with my kids. My kids love playing the “cat in the hat stem game” that I have in my phone, and my 6 year old loves “fill the cup.”

While the physical recovery of unmedicated is definitely easier, the trauma was not worth it for me. I prefer a somewhat harder recovery minus the trauma. Happens to be, my labors happen too fast for an epidural, so since the unmedicated birth I had, I have scheduled induction at 39 weeks and had the epidural placed when the induction started. My youngest was a planned c section because a complication arose that required it. That might be why it wasn't so bad, I have heard there's a difference between planned and emergency. I'm not sure if I want to try for a VBAC next time. I might, but it's not a huge priority. I guess we shall see next time I'm pregnant.

SixOfWands

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:54 am

proudmomma wrote:

I've seen many families hashkofos take a nose dive after putting their children into more modern/ day schools, after being rejected.

My unpopular opinion is that mommy3b2c looks awesome in a pom pom hat (and I can say that with confidence even though I've never met her, and have no idea what she looks like)

That MO schools and shuls are every bit as Orthodox as the most right wing schools and shuls and, indeed, the right wing aren't on a "higher" level.

A well-rounded secular education is important not only because it increases income potential, but also because knowledge is just a good thing.

Thanksgiving is the best holiday of the year because everyone celebrates, turkey and cranberries are awesome, we can drive to our relatives' homes, and we can engage in a ceremonial listening to Alice's Restaurant, and watch the parade.

Speaking of which, Snoopy is ALWAYS the best balloon.

Last edited by SixOfWands on Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:03 am; edited 1 time in total

mommy3b2c

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:00 am

tf wrote:

I’m not hurt at all. Every Pom Pom I wear gives me an extra dose of confidence, so it’s super hard to insult me.

glamourmom

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:00 am

tf wrote:

It actually IS unfair. Why shouldn't women have the audacity to wear what they like (obviously within the realms of Torah, but that's not the issue in this thread). Why rely on others opinions?

that's exactly my point. maybe they LIKE them. why do you assume it has to do with self confidence or following styles blindly?

STMommy

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:50 am

1. Band falls look dumb. Grown women in the rest of the world do not wear headbands. You look like a little girl. Don't bother wearing nice hair with a band. Tattoo "this is fake hair" on your forehead instead and save some money.

2. Ear piercing only makes sense on an infant. Waiting to let your child choose if they want earrings or not is dumb. If she don't like em she can let the holes close up! Once she's old enough to decide if she wants earrings, she's also old enough to remember the pain and who indirectly caused it! No thank you!

3. Putting on a full face of makeup just to run errands is dumb. When I run into you at the supermarket, and you have enough makeup on that you look like the mother of the bride, I laugh inwardly after you turn around to carefully select the bananas with no spots with your manicured fingernails. Hi, you're at Shoprite, not Chateau L' Food.

4. Over a certain age, all people should have to pass a road test to keep their driver's license.

5. Our American educational system that requires children to sit all day and deprives them of recess is a huge cause of obesity and mental illness in adults.

6. In theory, I love when kids have fun in a messy way - playing at the beach, jumping in piles of leaves, having a snowball fight, making slime, etc. I DESPISE the cleanup afterwards and then I am mad myself for being inwardly mad that messy things are always the most fun. Dang it!

7. Kids need a really strict bedtime in order function. B'H I have an excellent bedtime routine that goes well. Until an hour after they've fallen asleep someone wakes up and says "My tushy itches". Then my head explodes.

sky

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:57 am

Ear piercing infants is still my unpopular opinion.
I once needed to have a hole redone. Someone was piercing a newborn and the baby cried. She asked me if it hurt me and it did. The lady doing said babies feel it less. How do you know and it’s still pain anyways! At least when my girls asked to have their ears pierced it was their choice and they could have changed their mind at any time. And they understood the pain. I cant imagine willingly doing that to my baby.

dvorak613

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:03 am

STMommy wrote:

7. Kids need a really strict bedtime in order function. B'H I have an excellent bedtime routine that goes well. Until an hour after they've fallen asleep someone wakes up and says "My tushy itches". Then my head explodes.

Is this really an unpopular opinion? I've seen it come up a few times lately, not just here, in other forums too, "this may be unpopular, but kids need a strict bedtime because sleep is really important..." Is this concept really that unusual or unpopular? I mean, ok, I think more people believe that it's ok to let bedtime slide once in awhile in extenuating circumstances than believe that bedtime must be inviolate, but that doesn't mean they don't believe kids need a strict bedime. And a lot of people struggle with keeping their kids a strict bedtime for various reasons, but that doesn't mean they don't believe in its importance (in fact, when families struggle significantly with bedtime, it's davka BECAUSE they believe it's important, so they're extremely frustrated by their failure to implement it well). I just don't get how it could be an unpopular opinion. It's common sense! Most people I know who don't seem to have a strict bedtime routine are really beating themselves up over it.

STMommy

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:08 am

dvorak613 wrote:

My daughter has a Whatsapp group with her best friends from school and I allow her to use my phone on the weekends to chat with them. Based on the time that her friends are still messaging on school nights loooooong after she's gone to bed (also on their mothers' phones; I know for a fact none of these girls has her own phone) tells me that not everyone cares about having a strict bedtime. I'm blown away at what time her friends are still yakking.

NovelConcept

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:22 am

Another opinion I must share:

Using words like "dumb" (which actually means unable to speak), "[slow person]" or "slow" to describe one's negative opinion about something is hurtful and shows lack of discretion.

(Though most of the points the poster of "dumb" wrote about, I do agree with.)

Last edited by NovelConcept on Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:25 am; edited 1 time in total

Ruchel

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:24 am

SixOfWands wrote:

That MO schools and shuls are every bit as Orthodox as the most right wing schools and shuls and, indeed, the right wing aren't on a "higher" level.
.

Yes. The problem is the crowd if they accept everyone. Of course there are bad kids everywhere but if most kids don't keep your observance it can be hard to maintain even if they're the best kids.

I'm a big believer in no physical modification unless halacha (or health!) if there's no consent. Especially if it can involve infection or pain.

SixOfWands

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:35 am

More ...

Unless you need your kids to be up at 4:30 in the morning, putting kids to bed before 7:30 is absurd.

Working mothers are every bit as good parents as non-working mothers

Father are parents do. They don't "babysit," they "parent." And they can do it every bit as well as a woman.

Cheiny

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:39 am

Emotional wrote:

I'm scared to say it, but I'll say it anyway.
Obese people are not beautiful. Stop telling them they are. If they were, there wouldn't be a whole industry out there trying to convince them how gorgeous they would be if they were thin.
Signed,
An obese woman who hates mirrors (and struggles terribly with self-acceptance -in case you couldn't tell!😶😶😉😉😉😉🤐🤐☺)

That’s only because society has taught us that. Why are huge breasts considered great but huge backsides not? Think about it.