S/O against the rules to attack an ima?

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 4:48 pm

Squishy wrote:

There are lot of explanations for reasons people lie about crimes. Maybe someone wants a promotion or to look good (Detective Louis Scarcella), Maybe they are trying to drive traffic to their site (Rolling Stone's - “A Rape on Campus”). Maybe the 17 year old did something wrong and is covering it up with a story. (Tawana Brawley).

You can't accept what newspapers report as the absolute truth. The rush to judgement is wrong.

I don't know about Isreal's law. Is there a presumption of innocence?

ok, whatever you say..................

Maya

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 4:51 pm

ectomorph wrote:

thats not fair.

Left wing posters make strong comments and aren't called on it. Stuff like frum people are always xxxx or whatever. If a right wing person pushes back they get it from all sides

Like many female groups I find that this website often prioritises emotion over debate

This is not true. You’re seeing it the way you want to see it.

roses

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 4:54 pm

If a poster displays the following behavior and qualities in their posting, they get what's coming to them...

Superior attitude
False expertise and lack of evidence for stated facts
Falsisfying facts
Dominating of threads
Refusal to qualify opinions
Refusal to participate in reasonable discourse
Refusal to consider others points of view
Starting multiple repetitive annoying threads which they dominate
Purporting to be a representative of G-d
Misrepresenting Judaism
Demeaning large groups of people
Displaying a sense of grandiosity and superiority...

Feel free to chime in guys

Maya

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:00 pm

roses wrote:

Exactly.
And if you display these behaviors but are then offended when others behave like that back to you, then perhaps engaging in conversation on this site is not your thing.

smileforamile

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:04 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

no you are not the only one. I could care less if I get any or how many I get (and I noticed that when I post things having to do with halacha, no matter what I write, I always get a hug or 3 Wink

)

The only time I ever notice hugs is when I'm looking for sympathy. Otherwise, why would I expect hugs? If other posters want to hug me passive-aggressively, they'll be hugging the walls:)

iyar

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:06 pm

Seas wrote:

Thanks OP.

My broader point, which was obviously too subtle, was that everyone is judgemental when it's something they feel passionate about.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely abhor child abusers and am quite happy to condemn the wicked parents (if it's true - I'm somewhat skeptical of Israeli authorities when reporting on frum people).

But see, if I ever dare voice a judgement about any spiritual rasha, even someone who is openly anti Hashem, I get the usual suspects jumping down my throat. They suddenly become experts in hilchos ahavas Yisroel and lashon hora.

But the very same class of posters, whenever there's any hint of scandal in frum communities (see also for example the El Al thread), quite happily judge and condemn like there's no tomorrow.

Suddenly all the limudei zchus, issurim of lashon hora, dinim of ahavas Yisroel, all fly out of the window.

So it's not about not being judgemental, but about choosing where to apply judgement.

And as an aside, these same posters who'd be up in arms of I said for example that a mechalel Shabbos is a rasha, are quite happy to be nasty and mean to me. Seemingly, ahavas Yisroel and lashon hora only apply to secular Jews.

I didn't notice the previous thread until this one.
I thought some of the comments directed at you were just awful.
Still I think you misunderstood what got people so upset.
This wasn't about being judgmental or selectively judgmental.
This wasn't about not liking any particular sect or group.
This is imamother, Seas, a group of Jewish women who are mothers or wishing they'd be mothers. A group like that is going to be horrified when they hear of children being abused by their parents. Jewish mothers will do everything to protect children and their gut reaction when they hear about children being mistreated is exactly what you heard from them. The part of their brains that's activated to remind them to be non-judgmental, tolerant and polite shuts down entirely when they hear about adults causing their own children pain and suffering.

33055

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:10 pm

roses wrote:

You are justifying meanness and bullying. Do you realize you may be embarrassing those that you direct your comments at? Or is it ok to embarrass them because you don't like them?

Maya

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:10 pm

ectomorph wrote:

That's not a counter point.

You're seeing it the way you want to. See? It goes both ways

Fair point

Do you think Seas gets attacked simply for being a right wing poster, and it has nothing to do with what she says or how she says it?

And Cheiny gets attacked only because she leans right politically, and not for her belligerent and condescending posts?

To add, I get attacked from all sides when I comment anything negatively - even though it’s truthful - about my background. So right here is a left wing poster who deals with the same issues. But I’m not crying about it. I know what’s going to happen when I engage, as do most posters.

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:14 pm

Maya wrote:

Fair point

So you think Seas gets attacked simply for being a right wing poster, and it has nothing to do with what she says or how she says it?

And Cheiny gets attacked only because she leans right politically, and not for her belligerent and condescending posts?

To add, I get attacked from all sides when I comment anything negatively - even though it’s truthful - about my background. So right here is a left wing poster who deals with the same issues. But I’m not crying about it. I know what’s going to happen when I engage, as do most posters.

My personal opinion is that seas and cheiny are Both joseph from yeshiva world coffee room. But assuming they're real posters I do think that they get unfairly attacked at times for things that left wingers dont.

roses

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:14 pm

Squishy wrote:

You are justifying meanness and bullying. Do you realize you may be embarrassing those that you direct your comments at? Or is it ok to embarrass them because you don't like them?

I'm not naming names. If any of these qualities resonate with any posters, perhaps they need to do some introspection.
I fail to see how pointing out offensive qualities in a general manner is mean and bullying. Or perhaps my post resonates a bit too much?

Maya

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:15 pm

Squishy wrote:

You are justifying meanness and bullying. Do you realize you may be embarrassing those that you direct your comments at? Or is it ok to embarrass them because you don't like them?

You are justifying all those behaviors listed in that post, which are often no less bullying or mean. Why are you intent on only calling out one side of perpetrators and whitewashing the actions of the other side?

iyar

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:16 pm

roses wrote:

Okay I'll chime in.
I'm sorry I posted on this thread without reading more posts more carefully.
Some of these are a little over the top.
This is imamother, correct?
Not imanirateteenagergettingcarriedawaywiththeselfrighteoussoundofmyownvoice.

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:17 pm

There was one time that I agree I deserved it (although wishing for my child to die ch"v in my opinion went too far)
And I was shocked that my post was deleted but that one stayed up for a few days until I requested it be removed.

why did no one else report that evil post? Probably because I am right wing and many people on this site hate me and didnt mind the comment

Rappel

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:18 pm

Maya wrote:

Yes, poor innocent posters, ganged up on for no good reason.

I’m also someone who gets a lot of cr*p, but I know it’s because I have strong and often unpopular opinions, and because of my background sometimes say things that people don’t want to hear. If I was scared of the backlash, I wouldn’t express those opinions here.

You're right. I don't think we should lambaste each other over unpopular opinions. Free and clear debate is well and good, but the back-and-forth gets positively petty sometimes.

I'm sick of the nastiness. I wish there were a way to clean up the discussions, so only solid, intelligent comments are rewarded with a similar response.

Maya

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:20 pm

ectomorph wrote:

I don’t think anyone - right or left wing - would tolerate a child being wished dead. But I very highly doubt it had anything to do with your political or religious leanings, or that anyone here hates you.

iyar

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:27 pm

Rappel wrote:

Hear, hear!

Though you realize you're presenting Yael with quite a challenge sifting through all I-don't-know-how-many-thousand members and eliminating the ones who don't post solidly and intelligently.
Which one of us can be sure the axe won't fall on her? I dont want to see

Rappel

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:40 pm

iyar wrote:

I like your image, though I pity poor Yael. Bless her for keeping this site going!

And I don't care if someone posts unintelligently - free speech for all.

I just wish the overall environment here were such that responders would pass over pointless posts in favour of more substantial ones. I wish the conversations encouraged people to provide genuine contributions, instead of tearing each other down.