S/O against the rules to attack an ima?

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:44 pm

Rappel wrote:

I like your image, though I pity poor Yael. Bless her for keeping this site going!

And I don't care if someone posts unintelligently - free speech for all.

I just wish the overall environment here were such that responders would pass over pointless posts in favour of more substantial ones. I wish the conversations encouraged people to provide genuine contributions, instead of tearing each other down.

rappel, you havent been here all that long and people in the past, have been burnt by more than one long time poster and unfortunately when people either dont always truest posters or know a troll when they read them, its not so simple to just pass over the bad stuff. I wish. On that note, good night, its late enough here in Israel.

33055

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:48 pm

Maya wrote:

You are justifying all those behaviors listed in that post, which are often no less bullying or mean. Why are you intent on only calling out one side of perpetrators and whitewashing the actions of the other side?

How quick you forget. I have defended you also when I felt posters were piling on you. I believe I was the only one. I have defended some of the most left posters on this site. I will continue to do so in the future. Right now the main victims of the ganging up are the two posters I mentioned.

We seem to cycle through who we beat up on. Malkasays and FS are prior victims of the school girl bullying.

I don't mind a one on one. It is just an unfair crowd mentality that happens here.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:52 pm

Squishy wrote:

Nobody bullied FS. She was the bully (and a major troll or catfish, whichever you rather). The other poster I never heard of.

Maya

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 5:55 pm

Squishy wrote:

I appreciate you defending me when you thought it appropriate to do so. I don’t remember asking for the defense as I knew good and well what the result of my engaging would be, as I believe the two posters you mentioned know as well.

I don’t remember a poster named Malkasays but if I recall correctly, FS was not a victim of bullying. And she’s not here anymore for a reason.

I disagree about it being an unfair crowd mentality. Perhaps it’s a crowd mentality, but it’s not happening in a vacuum, based on nothing or for no reason.

33055

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:04 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Nobody bullied FS. She was the bully (and a major troll or catfish, whichever you rather). The other poster I never heard of.

At the end, people were unbelievable to her exposing her personal information. Maybe you and I have a different moral code, but whatever you did to me on this site would never justify me posting your personal information. I would never betray you.

And interestingly enough, the poster who doxed FS claimed she knew her identity IRL. FS never betrayed her by giving out her identity. You people really hurt her .

I know other posters who assumed a fake persona and present themselves as something they are not. Many lie with impunity to "disguise" their story. This is all acceptable.

33055

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:09 pm

Maya wrote:

Seas and Cheiny never asked for my defense either. It disgusts me when crowds bully others. I hate the mob mentality. Whether you think you personally deserved it, I don't believe I deserved to read you being abused. It isn't nice.

And as an observer, I don't think you posted anything less than truthful in that thead.

Maya

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:15 pm

Squishy wrote:

I can appreciate your sensitivity and aversion to bullying.

smileforamile

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:23 pm

The thing is that Cheiny, in particular, often goes after other posters. If you haven't read her other threads/post to know that she is going to push the conservative agenda really hard, you'd take it very personally. It's not surprising that other posters gang up on her, even if it is way too nasty. I have defended Cheiny from those kinds of attacks on several occasions. There have been several posters (myself included) who have tried to politely ask Cheiny to back off a little, but she responded with something to the effect of "There's freedom of speech, those who don't want to read my opinions don't need to open the thread." The solution to that is for there to be NO RESPONSES when she posts another thread about the "Dems" (her abbreviation, not mine).

Btw- as I've said, I'm a staunch conservative, and actually agree with a lot of what Cheiny says. I just try to be more moderate about it and not bother to engage with posters with whom I will never see eye to eye.

I admit that I don't always pay so much attention to specific posters' trends, so a pattern must be really obvious and repeated for me to notice. I hadn't known that so many posters attacked Seas until this most recent thread. It seemed to me that what she said on there was very controversial, but not worthy of such an gang-up attack. (If I were Seas, I would've backed down, and said, "Okay, whatever, let's agree to disagree." But that's me, because I don't like it when other posters attack me.)

smileforamile

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:25 pm

roses wrote:

I do believe posters know exactly what they are doing when they are behaving in a trollish manner. And it is a good thing to call them out on it- to make the forum tolerable for the others

I don't think that Seas has been acting trollish. Maybe more masculine than your average female, but that sounds like it might be because of her background. (That comment might be showing the biases of my background, though.)

smileforamile

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:26 pm

Squishy wrote:

I started using Imamother again right when the whole FS thing came down. This sounds deplorable.

Maya

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:29 pm

smileforamile wrote:

I admit that I don't always pay so much attention to specific posters' trends, so a pattern must be really obvious and repeated for me to notice. I hadn't known that so many posters attacked Seas until this most recent thread. It seemed to me that what she said on there was very controversial, but not worthy of such an gang-up attack. (If I were Seas, I would've backed down, and said, "Okay, whatever, let's agree to disagree." But that's me, because I don't like it when other posters attack me.)

Seas has a history of oftentimes posting callous and hurtful comments in the name of Halacha, and never backing down but digging her heels in deeper when called out on it.

Fox

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:48 pm

I read through the child abuse thread, and it reminded me of the threads we used to have about child s-xual abuse.

They were basically endless virtue signalling to show who cared more about children interspersed with attacks against anyone who said anything like, "Slow down and get all the facts."

IMA A: I think people who abuse children are evil!

IMA B: Oh yeah! Well, I think people who abuse children are evil and should be locked up!

IMA C: Seriously?! I think people who abuse children are evil and should be locked up and the key thrown away.

IMA D: Are we sure that's what happened?

IMAS A, B, and C: OMG! Are you a Nazi? You're the reason this kind of thing goes on!

I find it incredibly off-putting when people seem to be competing with one another to be disgusted by bad things. Yeah, you're against abuse. Good for you. And jumping all over anyone who suggests slowing down a little makes me think you're an angry person in search of a mob, not someone who legitimately cares about a problem.

Like Ectomorph said, a lot of people seem to think that their feelings constitute evidence or action. They don't.

Miri7

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 7:30 pm

Over time, I've found that some posters do tend to, well, act like jerks. I get the feeling that sometimes people comment in the way they do to rile people up.

So I roll my eyes, ignore and move on. (Usually). That's the best way for me to proceed. Just stop giving them oxygen - it's like with toddlers. I just don't reward the negative behavior with attention. My toddlers think that my ears actually can't hear whining voices - because I act like I simply can't hear it. So they've learned to speak in a normal voice.

(You can also report the offensive post without commenting in the thread, if that feels better to you.)

33055

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 7:42 pm

roses wrote:

I do believe posters know exactly what they are doing when they are behaving in a trollish manner. And it is a good thing to call them out on it- to make the forum tolerable for the others

And calling out frum ladies because of past threads and ganging up on them because you don't like their personality makes it less tolerable to others.

"People, I just want to say, you know, can we all JUST get along? Can we get along?"

Iymnok

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 2:16 am

As a general rule, I respond when the factual information seems incorrect.
It’s silly to respond strongly if it’s mostly emotion coming out. I won’t change anyone. Maybe they will think about the factual (or somewhat so) comment.

Some people aren’t worth arguing with. But others are reading, so I hope they will see what I added.

Metukah

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 3:38 am

Maya, I'm going to have to disagree with you. I've often enough seen posters attack your opinions. I have on more than one occasion disagreed with your view; although I hope it was respectful.

However, there can be no denying that the rw/charedi view is the less popular here and most disrespected. As a rw poster, I often feel that the tag line of imamother should change. Its not popular on here to be makpid on halacha and to try be more frum. I'm not saying that the overall tone on here is anti charedi or that most posters respond in that way, but, the most vocal posters do. Additionally, when an unpopular lw/mo opinion is posted the attacks are not as aggressive.

I think lots of rw posters feel the same way as me. There must be a reason.

(my response has no connection to the op post and does not denote approval of 'child abuse supporters')

dankbar

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 3:54 am

When I came on I was attacked & called rude for using short language. Attacking wasn't rude only the technical part of my posts.

Also people were laughing from my posts so I started posting anon because I knew some people would see my name & just skip me over & not even read it. I felt I had a lot of inspirational stories & hashkafa to share & I wanted everyone to be able to benefit from it & giving my post a chance to be read & considered.

So people could get arrogant here for no valid reason