Can’t get up in morning

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Forum -> Household Management

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amother

Seashell

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 3:49 am

However early I go to bed!

amother

Beige

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 4:18 am

Have you seen a doctor and gotten a full set of lab work? That's the first thing. Are you depressed? That can cause fatigue too and pregnancy, of course.

If it's not physical, then you have a behavioral issue. Could you get up early to catch a flight to go on your dream vacation? If no, that's for a therapist. If yes, then you can wake up but just don't feel motivated.

You could try to trick yourself into getting up -
arrange a spa visit or exercise class first thing in the morning. If you don't go, you'll forfeit the money. Or you could arrange to meet a friend for breakfast, and face her disappointment/ anger if you don't show up.
Do you want to be wasteful or unreliable?

Good luck and feel better.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:24 am

Amother beige, I also cant get up in the morning and bh im mor depressed or have behavioral issues. It's a normal thing.

amother

Beige

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:33 am

amother wrote:

Amother beige, I also cant get up in the morning and bh im mor depressed or have behavioral issues. It's a normal thing.

I suppose it depends what you mean by "can't". As a teenager, I could sleep till noon if no one woke me. And for many, sleeping late continues into the twenties, as the brain is still maturing. But if you are healthy, with no sleep disorders or health issues, you CAN wake up if you have to.

Teenaged boys and young men often prefer the 8 am minyan to the 6 am (at least where I live) but they don't generally sleep till noon. If you feel obligated or excited about the morning, you'll get up.

pesek zman

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:39 am

You have ago act like you have a job or a designated place to be where you have a commitment, even if you don’t. Don’t people count on you, in some way?

My sick toddler was up the past 2 nights. All night. I couldn’t get up this morning. And yet I did. I’m on the train to work.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:58 am

amother wrote:

However early I go to bed!

Do you have children?

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:01 am

Are you pregnant?
My kids leave at 915 and 930 but they are up by 745 (well they are allowed to get out of bed when their clock turns green at 745)

It often takes me until 12 to get to myself. Then 245 the little one is home...
But I'm pregnant bh. And on shabbos dh wakes up to the kids.

If not, it might be you circadian rhythm is off. Maybe a few days of melatonin capsules could help you reset it.
When do you normally get to bed? Do you have a set bedtime?

elisheva25

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:17 am

Check B12 levels , I had same feeling. Even if the levels aren’t too low B12 patches help majorly.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:44 am

Yeesh, not being able to get up in the morning is not a pathology or a moral failure or something you grow out of. Some people are just wired that way. I'm not a morning person, never was, never will be. Unfortunately, neither my kids nor my job seem to care about that, so I do get up in the morning because what choice do I have, but I move like a zombie and don't really talk to anyone before 10 am. Such is life, there's nothing wrong with me, it's just how I am wired.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 9:22 am

amother wrote:

Thank u for being the first person to validate. I'm not the OP but just someone who's not a morning person and I was getting nervous reading the first few replies.
I do what I have to do but would rather not talk to ppl before 10am...

pesek zman

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 9:37 am

I’m the farthest thing from a morning person you could imagine. A very hard transition to marriage included having to speak (even acknowledge) my husband in the morning. And yet life necessitates my getting up in the morning and so I do

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 11:16 am

I agree that life necessitates getting up in the morning if u have a regular job with commute or kids to send to school or a baby/toddler who gets up early or appointments..... Its hard for me too. I'm not a morning person but I must get up early to be on time for my job.

If I get the same 7 hrs of sleep from 1 to 8 or from 10 to 5, its so much easier for me to get up at 8, so id rather sleep from 1 to 8, but I can't.

Anyone who has no responsibilities in the morning and can sleep late everyday is living a life of luxury (in the sense that they can adjust their life to how their body functions best). Most ppl I know are not morning ppl but are forced to get up early to fulfill responsibilities. Just because u see others getting up early doesn't mean its easy and doesn't mean they are morning ppl. Most of us dont get to adjust our responsibilities based on if we are morning or night ppl.

Yes, its hard, very very hard, but we need to do it. Good luck.

amother

Purple

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 11:22 am

amother wrote:

Re: bolded - unless they are a shift worker!!!!

amother

Beige

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 12:38 pm

I'm not a morning person either, but when you have to get your kids up and out, and/or have to be at work, you just do it. To accommodate my natural night owl tendencies, I schedule more routine tasks for morning and more intellectually demanding ones for the afternoon or evening.

tichellady

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 1:11 pm

Do you have to wake up in the morning?

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 1:49 pm

amother wrote:

However early I go to bed!

Do you also feel,tired during the day? Take a sleep study for sleep apnea.

zaq

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:14 pm

That's why G-d created alarm clocks.

A_Mother_First

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:25 pm

Low cortisol levels may be at play. High cortisol is normal during a stress response. However, sometimes, when cortisol has been too high for too long, we experience adrenal fatigue. Levels of cortisol plumment and are especially low in the morning. It may contribute to difficulty in gettting up. Or: maybe you are just not a 'morning person'. I am not a morning person, and it is safer not to ask me anything important before I had my first (or second) cup of coffee. I am also quite nicer to deal with after I get some coffee in my system...On a practical level: People who are not morning people may dread waking up in the morning, especially when it involves preparing and sending kids to school. One thing you may want to consider doing is preparing whatever you can the night before. Clothes, lunches, snacks. Then, the mornings are much easier and you may even get a few minutes for yourself to sit down with a cup of coffee before everyone is up, and relax and prepare yourself mentally for the day. It may make things a little easier. One last thought: Telling yourself, " I cannot do it; I cannot get up in the morning. It makes me miserable" may actually make it worse. Try replacing these messages with more positive and realistic ones: "While I am not a morning person, and I wish I could stay in bed longer, it is fine. I can get up in the morning and I can manage. I am doing it for my family. I love my family, and my waking up in the morning to prepare things for them will help them (husband / kids) have an easier and more pleasant day (Try visualizing the face of your little one at school eating the snack / lunch you are preparing). I am glad to be doing this for my family, even if it is not so easy for me". This way you are validating yourself while also motivating yourself to do what needs to get done. I hope this helps. (and sorry if I sound like a psychologist. I cannot always help it.)

A_Mother_First

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:26 pm

zaq wrote:

That's why G-d created alarm clocks.

And coffee! Smile

Sleepymama

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:50 pm

I have the same problem. It's horrendous.
I've done sleep studies and blood tests but so far no conclusive "reason" for the insane war I wage against my body every single morning. Here's how I manage:
My alarm clock goes off at 5:30am. That's an hour and a half before I need to wake up my kids. I need that much time to be able to function. I snooze the alarm clock till 6, this helps pull me out of REM. I shuffle to the bathroom and half blindly make a coffee. Then I get back into bed and drink coffee and read imamother with my phone on the brightest setting. The blue light from the phone and the coffee are both stimulating. (And so is the drama on imamother!) By 7 I am able to pass as *almost* human. The absolute hardest part of my routine is that I force myself to be in bed at 10 pm. I have to be extremely strict about it, otherwise I literally CAN NOT GET OUT OF BED.
Good luck!!
(Ps- Does this shed light on my user name?)

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