If you run a HS that does not accept every applicant

amother

Gray

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:06 am

amother wrote:

Amother aquamarine, no I am not perfect and I did not say I am. But we are trying to raise our kids with a certain hashkafa that is in sync with the school, and of a school just accepts whoener applies, how can we expect our kids to grow up with the hashkafa we're trying to raise them with?? Why should a school accept a family that is not with there hashkafa and will not follow the rules?? The school has a responsibility to all their students.
Amother lavender, I would not apply to a school thats not a good fit for our family. My girls where rejected from 2 schools. Some people just want to send to a certain school for the name and they know very well they don't belong there.

Convince yourself that all the families in the school are aligned with your hashkafa, and not just looking the part when they show up at the interview.

amother

Seashell

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:12 am

I work at a high school on an administrative level-however I have nothing to do with admissions. But I do know what goes on.
The main issue is the space factor. We exist in the physical confines of a small building. We can’t accept all 150 applicants when our classrooms won’t fit more than 50 girls per grade.
Then there’s the issue of students who have academic issues that the school is ill equipped to help succeed. Most students meet a certain standard academically, and the ones that don’t spend 4 years suffering through high school. I blame the parents that pushed their daughters into the school, even though the administration warned them that their daughters would have a difficult time at this school. We don’t want to set our students up to fail and we are realistic about the fact that we can’t cater to extremely weak students, despite the fact that they are wonderful girls all around. Parents, please be realistic about where you apply to school and make sure it’s the right fit for your child! Don’t let their self esteem suffer through 4 years of not being able to keep up in a place that they don’t belong!

tweety1

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:18 am

dankbar wrote:

Same with yeshivos. The מציונים yeshivas are very picky & only take in best? Or the ones with the money. They want to be called the best yeshiva out there. With what are they the best? Are they working on students that need help? NO. They are simply taking in the top learners & then get a name as the top best yeshiva. They only accept boys that don't need any work unless there's money and/or protectsia.

This too!

tweety1

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:20 am

amother wrote:

Dankbar, my son goes to a yeshiva high school that accepts everybody. And he is not garbage. Nor are his friends. Your choice of words is disgusting.

Her words are not disgusting. It's unfortunately nothing but the truth! The truth sometimes hurts!!

amother

Gray

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:24 am

tweety1 wrote:

Her words are not disgusting. It's unfortunately nothing but the truth! The truth sometimes hurts!!

If the schools stopped rejecting our precious unwanted children, these schools that are filled with what you call garbage and I call yiddish neshamos would be out of business.
The mainstream BY schools are the ones keeping these schools that should close its doors in business.

amother

Pink

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:26 am

Amother lavender, I agree that chinuch and hashkafa come from the home. But because our kids spend more hours in school than at home, we try to find a school that is in line with our chinuch and hashkafa.
Every school has the right to decide which families might be good fit for them.
If you're litvish and you applied to chassidish schools and you where rejected, would you be upset? Litvish girls don't belong in a chassidish school. And if a family is not ready to follow the rules of the schools they applied to, they do not belong in that school.
Amother grey, I know that not ALL families in the school are aligned with the same hashkafa, but I do know that most are because this is the hashkafa of the school.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:27 am

And to the poster who posits that girls who are academically weak will spend 4 miserable years in high school...

Here's a newsflash: As a general statement, our Orthodox schools don't adequately support kids with learning difficulties. They struggle. There isn't really any place for them to go. Many do fine after school. Where should they go? Can't they be with their friends? Or should just not "be allowed" because they aren't ____ enough. Whatever adjective you want to fill in. I think administrators like to talk themselves into that mindset, oh these kids will be miserable here. When the truth is they are likely to struggle everywhere as there aren't real options for them. Its just that schools don't want to extend themselves to do anything extra for a child that won't bring their school prestige. Ok. I get it. We are all overextended and have loads to do. But still, there should be some room for differences.

amother

Gray

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:29 am

amother wrote:

Do you work in a Brooklyn school?
Every single BY school has some academically weak students.
They either have a second track for these girls or a resource room.
There is no BY high school that caters exclusively to weak students.
Which school do you suggest these girls get sent to?
Public school?

amother

Gray

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:35 am

I see that I cross-posted with the poster above.
Also, to the poster who works in a high school:
If you’re (I don’t mean specifically you, the school you work for) truly worried about the girls’ self-esteem, then stop rejecting them.
You know what will defeat their self-worth more than poor grades?
Getting rejected from your schools.

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:42 am

I sent to a fabulous high school that accepted everyone ( except drug issues and severe yidishkeit issue).
Guess what. It's no longer around because in the street everyone said it was a bum school and no one wanted to send.
Bh my daughter got that amazing education by an hanhala and teachers who truly cared. ( She was a top girl who could have easily gotten into any other flatbush school.)

DrMom

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:48 am

I don't see why you feel that a private school is obligated to accept any particular student.

- What about someone who is from a completely different hashkafa and has no interest in adopting the school's hashkafa?
- What about a J4J who applies to a charedi cheder?
- What about a child who would be academically lost because the material is at too high a level for him/her?

Surely you can see that expecting a private school to accept every applicant is absurd.

amother

Gray

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:55 am

There was a time post-Holocaust when every Jewish child was welcomed with open arms and excitement into Jewish schools. I’ve heard this personally from people of that generation.

The schools felt an obligation and responsibility to provide a Jewish education to all who sought it.
It was considered a great honor and privilege.

Many of these students who would probably be considered “garbage” nowadays, have “weak hashkafos", as well as TVs in their home have become upstanding frum individuals who built beautiful families because of the opportunity they were granted.

Such a shame about the current state of affairs in schools. Truly sad.

Miri1

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:57 am

Wouldn't it be amazing if there was a central applications process for each community, which would serve to
A) keep all the institutions on the same schedule, while at the same time
B) acting as a clearing house to make sure every child has his or her place.

eli7

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 11:02 am

dankbar wrote:

The schools or yeshivas that do accept everyone gets a bad name as all the garbage land there. Then the rest of society doesn't want to send to the bad school anymore

I have seen a lot of unkind and insulting comments on this site, but this is the lowest and worst I have seen anywhere. It is utterly shameful. This should have no place here.

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 11:26 am

amother wrote:

ALL SCHOOL ADMINISTRATORS WILL HAVE TO ANSWER UP THERE.
WHY IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT THAN THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS NOT ACCEPTING FIVE YEAR OLDS....THEY HAVENT EVEN HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHAPE THEMSELVES ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. I THINK WE SHOULD WB BY DISTRICT WHWRE EVERYONE IS ACCEPTED AND WE SHOULD LEARN TO TOLERATE OTHER HASHGAFOS AND YES, GO TO SCHOOL WITH THEM. IT WOJLD DO EVERYONE GOOD TO HAVE A MIX OF TYPES IN A SCHOOL.

This is my post. Why did I get a hug??? Bh my kids had no problem getting into school, I picked schools with my hashkafah and bh they are doing well. I just know that many of my friends and neighbors weren't as lucky and had to struggle and humiliate themselves in order to get accepted.

Simple1

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 11:47 am

Before we beat up on dankbar, maybe she can explain her intent. Her assessment is sadly a true commentary on what is going on. And at the same time I disagree and think it's wrong. (By that definition, some of my kids go to garbage schools.) Maybe dankbar was criticizing this trend.

I have a friend whose kids only go to top schools. Recently, her post sem dd got a job in my dds' not top school for extracirurricular. My freind couldn't stop raving how much her dd loves the school and the girls, not your typical large high school, etc. She was obsessed. Of course it wouldn't have sent her kids there, but I thought it was an ironic twist on things.