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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Babyblue

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 1:55 pm

I was the kid in school who did not do well academically. I felt badly about myself and went unnoticed. I wish teachers/staff would have notice some of my positive traits/talents. Each person is complex and blessed with unique Gd given qualities. Grades don't make you a good decent person.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 1:56 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

I'm sorry, this doesn't fly.
Most of THE schools are like this.
Should all of our kids be hanging out in the streets because we can't find a school that doesn't emphasize academics?

If most of the schools are like this, then it's a sign of a greater problem, because most of the girls are not a fit for that kind of school. I personally did not go to such a school, so I wouldn't know.

urban gypsy

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 1:58 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

No, that alone would not make me feel that I was getting my money's worth, it was just an example illustrating that it is possible to jot a note on report cards, even if you have hundreds to go through. It appears OP's principal actually is writing special notes, just not to the 'regular' kids apparently. So then yeah, at the very least I'd think she'd care enough to write *something*, even if its generic.

IDK I think part of being an adult is understanding that not everyone is special or deserves extra recognition. When everyone gets it, like "Great!" on a report card, it's nice but essentially meaningless. Any adult person would understand that a hastily scrawled "Great!" doesn't actually mean that the report card is great. It is just a nice thing to do that shows that the principal actually glanced at each report card. I would not compare that to the personal letter, they are two completely different things.

I feel like intercepting a private letter like what happened to the OP would feel very awkward and reflects somewhat poorly on the level of confidentiality of the school office. But it would be like accidentally getting someone else's love letter... feeling like you deserve one too is rooted in jealousy, nothing more. Just because they got one doesn't mean you *didn't deserve* one. It just means that there's a good reason why they got one. Not everyone in life is the same, accept it and move on.

chestnut

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:02 pm

I think it's important what is written in this post it note. If it's "well done!", "congrats", then yes, sounds like just because of good grades. If it's something like "you grew so much in ... this year", then, despite good grades, the girl must have been going through something.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:05 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

Who said achieving high grades makes you a good person? A school's job is not to praise your good qualities, it's to provide an education in select academic subjects.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:15 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

Who said achieving high grades makes you a good person? A school's job is not to praise your good qualities, it's to provide an education in select academic subjects.

One might think a frum girls school's job is to both teach academics and foster middos.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:23 pm

amother [ Mustard ] wrote:

One might think a frum girls school's job is to both teach academics and foster middos.

Knowledge can only be taught; people are responsible for their own midos, and nobody can control someone else's midos.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:30 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

Knowledge can only be taught; people are responsible for their own midos, and nobody can control someone else's midos.

Middos can be nurtured.

sounds like your vision of a frum girls highschool is basically a public school for girls which teaches Jewish subjects in addition to to secular studies.

amother

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:33 pm

chestnut wrote:

It was clear that this was addressed to a top achiever.

Among other flattering comments was the word "chachma".

amother

Teal

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:33 pm

I think it’s unprofessional for a teacher or a principal to stick a note on some people’s report cards. I’ve never seen this done.

singleagain

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:40 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

I think it’s unprofessional for a teacher or a principal to stick a note on some people’s report cards. I’ve never seen this done.

I used to have three or four notes on my report card. We got three a year and my guess is that the teachers divided the girls into three groups and rotated so over the year we got a note from each teacher. ... At least,that makes most sense... But hey it's a school so LNNA

urban gypsy

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It was clear that this was addressed to a top achiever.
Among other flattering comments was the word "chachma".

Yikes that is indeed unprofessional
Can you imagine a public school calling a kid "genius" in a report card note?

amother

Mustard

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:53 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

I think it’s unprofessional for a teacher or a principal to stick a note on some people’s report cards. I’ve never seen this done.

Its a form of communication between the principal and the parent.

Should she have typed it up an put it into a formal letter - rather than a sticky note? I think most people appreciate time constraints.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:58 pm

amother [ Mustard ] wrote:

Middos can be nurtured.

That either goes without saying or is escalated to invasive levels.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 3:08 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

That either goes without saying or is escalated to invasive levels.

I'm not sure what you mean by invasive levels.

urban gypsy

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 3:10 pm

amother [ Mustard ] wrote:

I'm not sure what you mean by invasive levels.

Meaning it's not the school's role to police "middos" as long as no rules are being broken.

amother

Olive

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 6:21 pm

urban gypsy wrote:

If my school did this to me it would feel incredibly fake and patronizing.
Kids are smart and they know that praise for middos is nothing but a consolation prize.
Nobody takes that seriously and it some contexts can even be embarrassing.

Yes, but if you really care as an educator, you can make it not a consolation prize.

I had teachers who were able to do that, and teachers who were not, if you know what I mean.

Personally, as an educator, I'm very good at that--maybe because it's something that bothered me so much in school.

amother

Olive

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 6:22 pm

egam wrote:

Well, I tend to believe that the school that only cares about academic achievers, is not good fit for anyone, including fore mentioned achievers.

amother

Olive

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 6:28 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

They may only care about the academic achievers in the sense that a medical school only cares about the aspiring doctors--they are an academics-oriented school intended for people who value and are skilled at academics, and people who don't fit into that category should ideally find a different type of school.

But any frum school, no matter how academic, should first and foremost care about building good people.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 6:29 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

But any frum school, no matter how academic, should first and foremost care about building good people.

They're not building people. The people are entering fully formed.

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