Have you ever had a teacher do something unacceptable?

little neshamala

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 8:26 am

DrMom wrote:

I recall once instance in which we were learning about how female primate pelvises evolved to be broader as infant cranial capacity increased. He quipped to me, "Looks like DrMom's gonna give birth to a GENIUS one day." I shot back "I guess your mom was Twiggy." It was that kind of atmosphere.

[.

Oh my.....I just gotta say-that was an awesome comeback!!!!

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:22 am

I live OOT and the school principal is a “rabbi” who lets some sadistic rebbes to remain in the school. One was fired one was demoted to being a tutor. One rebbe who is still in the school is constantly humiliating children from less powerful families. This rebbe is one of the principles son. In another school one rebbe was bullying my son and the principal supported him and we took our son out. Maybe because there are not so many options here for school everyone tries to protect their kids and no one cares to fire these teachers.

Chayalle

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:33 am

For the crime of reading ahead a few pages in her science book, the teacher made my DD write out the whole page the class was supposed to be on.

I don't want to ruin my kids' shidduchim, but....my family isn't known for our stunning hand-writings. The teacher decided said DD had written the page sloppily, and made her rewrite it a second time. That too didn't pass muster, and she told her to write the page over 3X at home.

My kids know I usually take the teacher's side...but in this case I told DD NO WAY you are not writing another word. She came home exhausted and crying and saying there's nothing better I can do, I tried to tell her....

I called the teacher that night, and pointed out to her that on the page she had given out in the beginning of the school year where she asked if there's anything she should know about our child, I had written that DD struggles with writing. Do they even bother reading those things?

To her credit, teacher apologized (to me - I passed it on to DD) and agreed that DD didn't need to write it any more. She even admitted that she had gotten into a one-sided power struggle with DD (she thought DD was doing it on purpose and should have realized that wasn't the case) and would work on avoiding that in the future.

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 10:01 am

So I’m high school a teacher sent me home cuz I walked into the classroom late. She then spent the next 45 min talking abt me. How I’m going otd and it’s my classmates fault cuz none of them are helping me. Etc.
my school basically denied that the teacher said any of it and the teachers still there teaching.

groovy1224

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 10:19 am

I remember in 8th grade we had taken a test, and the teacher had graded them but didn't want to give the tests back yet because she hadn't entered the scores into her grade book. So she had us each some up one by one, and she would shuffle through the tests, find that girls test, and show her the grade.
My turn came, and when I approached her she just gave me a blank stare for an awkwardly long time; she had no idea who I was. And this was in January, in a class of maybe 15 girls?

It was so hurtful, I was always a good student. I was well behaved, and knew the material. I maybe wasn't the one to raise her hand all the time but I knew the material, was polite and attentive, but apparently not worthy of notice.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 10:25 am

When I was in kindergarten, I needed help in remembering a "b" from a "d". Apparently I interrupted the teacher when I asked for help, and she flew into a rage. She dragged me to the back of the school and locked me in a supply closet that was about the size of a coffin. I couldn't even sit down, and there was only a tiny crack of light coming in. She kept me there until 15 minutes before pickup. I don't know why I never told my mom.

When I was in 7th grade, I was failing math. One day my teacher asked me to stay after class so he could help me. He called me over to his desk, and swooped me into his lap and tried to kiss me. Gross! I shot out of there as fast as I could, but again, I didn't tell.

So many horrible things have been done to DD in various schools, both Jewish and secular. I could wear out the internet trying to list them all. She can be spirited and anxious in turns, and has some learning difficulties. She is never a "bad" kid, but she is usually treated like one. Schools have also refused to address severe bullying, even when it turned into zexual harassment and groping. (Yay, middle school. Confused

) B'H, high school is turning out to be better, and she seems more hopeful than I've seen her in years.

ShishKabob

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 11:07 am

Of course there are teachers who do things that are not ok or downright wrong. They are human beings with tempers, feelings and they fall through also. That being said, I don't think they get a free pass. If you feel that a teacher crossed the line and you reviewed it with someone impartial that also agrees with you, I feel that you should approach the teacher respectfully and voice your concerns. If the teacher flat out denies it or tries to throw the blame around I would pursue it with the higher ups. Depending of course what the misconduct was and if it warrants such a response.
Whatever you do, remember to always be there for your child. (that doesn't mean that if a child was wrong they are automatically right, just a good balance and remember you are the only voice of your child)

Bhatzlocha

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 11:16 am

ShishKabob wrote:

Yes, teachers are human beings with tempers and feelings, but some of these things are outright sadistic. I'll be the first to admit that I get frustrated with my students and I've probably hurt their feelings at times, but I would never do the things recounted here.

My family members have had our fair share of stories with teachers, but never like this.

ShishKabob

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 11:19 am

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

I don't see where you get that I am condoning whatever behavior is mentioned on this thread. I tried to give a balance response.

southernbubby

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 12:38 pm

I went to war against the schools fairly often as a mother. I had gone to public school as a kid and was well treated with my 2 biggest complaints being made to sing X-mas carols and that the student parking lot was icy. I was a slow poke, picky eater and was underweight so I wasn't allowed to go to class until I finished the yucky food but that wasn't mistreatment.

amother

Beige

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 12:49 pm

In HS I missed classes of a certain teacher too often to her liking because my family had something going on and I helped my mom out as much as I could.
The teacher taught hashkafa and complained to the principal who was always my biggest support, that I’m sometimes there to hear the questions and not there to hear the answers and It can cause me big problems with emuna (which I’m not upset about, I understand her concern) and that she also thinks I’m taking advantage of the situation and just pulling a shtik on everyone and lying to everyone that I’m helping and I’m really just chilling around and taking off school. (That was a disgusting accusation!) The principal believed her.
He stopped me in the hallway the next day and I don’t remember his exact words but they weren’t nice. I was basically accused of skipping school for no reason and lying. I just remember I was shocked and I was feeling low anyway- I couldn't handle it and to my horrification tears started welling up in my eyes in front of him and a few other students who were standing around their lockers at the time and I just ran to the nearest bathroom and couldnt stop crying.
He felt really bad but obviously couldn’t follow me there.
I was devastated.
It still hurts me whenever I think about.
The principal was super respectful and careful for the rest of HS. He realized he made a mistake and tried to fix it.
Might be totally unrelated but this teacher’s own daughter went OTD.
Ironically I have a teaching position now that involves lots of hashkafa.
I forgive everyone even though I’ll never forget the feelings of humiliation and helplessness I experienced then on top of my pain.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 1:00 pm

This just happened to my elementary aged daughter..
She had switched from a Yiddish speaking school to a Hebrew speaking school and when she explained to her teacher she can’t answer the test in Hebrew sentences only in English her response was to get a tutor!

And she loses 2 points on every test when she doesn’t write answers in Hebrew..

And yes I spoke to the principal..
Any tips on how to help her?

Amother to protest my daughters privacy..

thunderstorm

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 1:03 pm

My DH is not American. His cheder “imported” rebbeim from Other countries . One Year when my DH was around 7 his father brought him back , from America , a gadget keychain that had little colorful buttons and each one made a different sound. This was an extra special thing he would never had access to in his country at the time. One day he brought it to school and had it in his pocket . When he sat down one of the buttons got pressed and started making a noise. The rebbe demanded he hand over his precious toy and then in front of the whole class put the gadget on the floor and stomped on it until it shattered into smithereens. I don’t think my DH got over that moment ever .

Last edited by thunderstorm on Wed, Dec 11 2019, 1:14 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Beige

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 1:06 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

My DH is not American. His cheder “imported” rebbeim from Other countries . One Year when my DH was around 7 his father brought him back a gadget keychain that had little colorful buttons and each one made a different sound. This was an extra special thing he would never had access to in his country at the time. One day he brought it to school and had it in his pocket . When he sat down one of the buttons got pressed and started making a noise. The rebbe demanded he hand over his precious toy and then in front of the whole class put the gadget on the floor and stomped on it until it shattered into smithereens. I don’t think my DH got over that moment ever .

OMG!

amother

Maroon

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 1:08 pm

Six months into school, my 12th grade egotistical nut job of a chumash teacher asked me if I just got glasses. I was shocked into dumbfounded silence. I had been wearing the same pair all year. There were a total of 19 girls in the class. After she died, the school created this ongoing honor in her name and that's when I stopped giving them money.

amother

Smokey

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 1:21 pm

If your daughter is saying something please help her. I was terrified to tell my mother anything.
My first grade teacher abused me terribly. I dont remember much of my childhood but that year stuck in my head.
My mother did not dress me well and I guess I looked more nerdy this teacher had the time of her life tormenting me.
It was a very small new school then and I was a very afraid and quiet girl trying my best not to get into trouble. I can assure you I never made any trouble.
Some things I remember is always getting punished for no reason. The principal was also a teacher of the older class and I had to sit in that classroom too often. It was so embarrassing cuz it was infront of older girls as well.
I remember the teacher once bringing her newborn niece to school in a stroller and only the 2 well dressed girls were allowed to see the baby. She faced the stroller the other way so we couldnt see. Those 2 girls she liked and she always gave them treats but did it in a way where I would be teased , she made me watch with big eyes.
I remember her calling on me to read the word THE and I probably missed that lesson by being in the other classroom so I got yelled at and punished for not knowing it.
I also remember asking to go to the bathroom cuz I could no longer hold it in and she wouldnt let me go, I had no choice but to have an accident in my seat and covered the wet spot as much as possible with my briefcase.
To me she was a witch. I always wanted to send her a letter because to this day I do not forgive her. My parents paid tuition and im not sure for what.
Noone knew this was going on as I was afraid to tell (not sure why).
It is now decades later and I still wont forget.