Have you ever had a teacher do something unacceptable?

DrMom

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 10:38 am

urban gypsy wrote:

How did he have the guts to ever show his face again?
I am in AWE of this devastating comeback!!! Bravo DrMom Applause

LOL. It was that sort of atmosphere where you could trade insults with the teacher (although all of these exchanges were initiated by the teacher, never the students...).

I assume this would result in a lawsuit in this day and age.

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 11:03 am

ShishKabob wrote:

I don't see where you get that I am condoning whatever behavior is mentioned on this thread. I tried to give a balance response.

I didn't think you were condoning it. Just responding to the degree.

Some of the things mentioned on this thread (and the "embarrassment" thread from the last couple of weeks) are within the scope of "hurtful, but teachers are human." The story I myself added to that thread was in this category.

Other stories, though, are just unconscionable, no matter who you are and how much pressure you're under. That's when the "human" excuse stops.

Petra

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 11:28 am

Not acceptable to call your daughter a failure. Go to the teacher and talk about it. I suspect she will deny it or give some very realistic scenario in which she didn't call your daughter a failure. At least having the conversation though will tell the teacher she needs to watch her language. If you get no results, go to the principal. Don't let any unprofessional behavior like that go unchallenged.

chefmama

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 11:51 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I don't think you need stories. You need a plan of action. I strongly believe in advocating for your child. I've done it when necessary for scholastic reasons, when my dd struggled in certain subjects and I wanted her to be responsible for less things.
I never made an enemy out of a teacher. I simply spoke up, stating very clearly what my daughter needs and how we can work together to make school a happy place for her. Sometimes I needed to be more assertive, but I was never nasty or rude.
This year, my son was having anxiety about being able to go to the bathroom, because when he'd ask, the rebbe asked him whether he could wait until recess. Because he's shy, he'd just nod. Dh called him up, thanked him for asking this question instead of saying no outright, then explained why this won't work for our shy child. Problem was solved in 60 seconds and he made sure to compliment him on what he does well in the classroom. He actually is a great rebbe otherwise.
Never hesitate to advocate for your child. Just be smart about it so that she/he doesn't spend the rest of the year with someone who hates you, if it can be helped. And dont' beat around the bush and start with stories about this or that. Just state what you want nicely.

Agree, very good advice!

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 1:10 pm

Isn't it frightening how the tiniest of things stay with us forever and ever?

A teacher once threw my notebook across the room, after ripping it to shreds. I never forgot that, and I guess that means I never forgave her. But in the scheme of life, it's really a very minor thing.

I personally have the worst worst worst time with remembering names, and it's only getting worse. People who I'm best friends with - I can't remember the names of one of their children, etc etc. Or sometimes I can't remember their name when I'm trying to talk to them! It's really scary and I hope I'm not getting some kind of alzheimer's.

But for me, the story about the new glasses when they've been wearing them all year, and the story about having their name forgotten, I totally sympathize with the teacher who has a brain like mine.

amother

White

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 2:02 pm

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

But for me, the story about the new glasses when they've been wearing them all year, and the story about having their name forgotten, I totally sympathize with the teacher who has a brain like mine.

I barely remember my own name sometimes, so I hope people don't judge me for forgetting theirs.

amother

Beige

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 2:13 pm

amother [ Maroon ] wrote:

Six months into school, my 12th grade egotistical nut job of a chumash teacher asked me if I just got glasses. I was shocked into dumbfounded silence. I had been wearing the same pair all year. There were a total of 19 girls in the class. After she died, the school created this ongoing honor in her name and that's when I stopped giving them money.

Sorry if I sound insensitive but I’m trying to understand , is that all she did or was there anything else?
Just because it’s kind of my type also as I’m not the observant type. I can see it happening to me. But it wasn’t me! (I don’t teach Chumash)
ETA:
And BH I’m alive, till 120!
(Just read your post again)
Definitely a lesson to me to be more careful!

naturalmom5

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 2:47 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

My DH is not American. His cheder “imported” rebbeim from Other countries . One Year when my DH was around 7 his father brought him back , from America , a gadget keychain that had little colorful buttons and each one made a different sound. This was an extra special thing he would never had access to in his country at the time. One day he brought it to school and had it in his pocket . When he sat down one of the buttons got pressed and started making a noise. The rebbe demanded he hand over his precious toy and then in front of the whole class put the gadget on the floor and stomped on it until it shattered into smithereens. I don’t think my DH got over that moment ever .

If he is still frum can I ask for a brocha ??

Aylat

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 3:39 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

I could also be like that. I have a terrible visual memory.

amother

Tan

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 4:43 pm

In 2nd grade we had a special shabbos siddur that the teacher would send home iwth a girl over the weekend each week. every week was someone elses turn. at one point we were on our second round with me being the only one that hadn't gotten a turn. I didn't like this teacher much so I was not a perfect child but nothign more than that. Either way at the end of hte year I still ahdn't had a turn while everyone had gotten a second turn. teacher stood up in front of the class and said lookign at me "YOU will not get a turn at all because you're davening has what to be desired"

HELLO!!! here I am a little 7 year old!! what in the world did I do to deserve this??? DD is goign into 2nd grade next year and htat teacher still teaches there. I have already put in multiple request that she should NOT have this teacher.

amother

Purple

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 5:21 pm

The worst I've ever experienced: I am a therapist. A few years ago I worked with an admittedly very challenging little boy. His rebbe could not manage his behaviors. One day the rebbe asked everyone to take out their tehillims and daven for this boy, explaining that some people are sick in their bodys, and some people, like this little guy, are sick in their minds. The kid was mortified. The rebbe was unrepentant. The kid switched schools and is now doing great, but that rebbe is still at large, free to humiliate more vulnerable kids Crying

amother

Linen

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 5:40 pm

I'm a school based therapist and once walked into a classroom to find the teacher humiliating a four year old who had an accident. I marched myself into the early childhood director's office and let her know about it, but she's still teaching there and probably still humiliating kids who have an accident Crying

amother

Papaya

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 6:08 pm

My husband still can't get this story off his chest and it didn't even happen to him! The menhal got up and said that a basket full of delicious apples will unfortunately get rotten if there's even one rotten Apple in there. The same applies to this situation. And called up one kid in front of the entire 1000+ kids and started yelling that this is the rotten apple! I can get the shivers just from thinking how this boy felt!

amother

Pewter

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 6:13 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Did this happen in Monsey?

southernbubby

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 6:17 pm

Malky Klein a"h, never recovered from being humiliated by a teacher in 2nd grade. Homeschooling is a whole lot safer. Public school sounds like a better choice than some of the monsters that you ladies are describing. Any kid who goes OTD because of these abusers should send the former school and teacher a letter that every aveira is in his honor.