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Raising good husbands-raising good wives

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 7:22 am
I’ve seen threads on how to raise our boys to be good husbands, but how would you say to raise your daughters to be good wives? Of course, by example, but beyond that.
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elisheva25




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 8:04 am
Seeing your husband help you.
You together being a team .
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Aylat




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 8:41 am
Communicating with my husband and working through disagreements together while the kids are around. (Minor, not intense or laden issues.)
Letting them hear me apologise when I've spoken unkindly or let my husband down.
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 8:43 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’ve seen threads on how to raise our boys to be good husbands, but how would you say to raise your daughters to be good wives? Of course, by example, but beyond that.


By example is pretty much it. Do as I say, not as I do doesn't work.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 8:56 am
Provide them with information about biology.
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amother




Silver
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 9:01 am
I would also give guidance and explain some things. For example if my teen daughter is being fresh with me and I know it's because she's having her period, I will point out to her that she can't behave like that to her husband. To me, as disrespectful as it is, I totally understand why I got a curt answer or something like that. But men don't understand periods and we gotta make them aware that we will be moody and it's not them.
I speak of personal experience. My dh has no sisters and he had no idea what periods were all about.

Yes by example too of course as other posters have pointed out.
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Aylat




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 9:56 am
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
I would also give guidance and explain some things. For example if my teen daughter is being fresh with me and I know it's because she's having her period, I will point out to her that she can't behave like that to her husband. To me, as disrespectful as it is, I totally understand why I got a curt answer or something like that. But men don't understand periods and we gotta make them aware that we will be moody and it's not them.
I speak of personal experience. My dh has no sisters and he had no idea what periods were all about.

Yes by example too of course as other posters have pointed out.


I do the opposite! My tween son knows about periods, and as well as the biology Iet him know that the hormonal changes can cause mood swings and he should cut DD slack sometimes if she's grouchy (not that he knows when she has her period) and in the future he should be understanding of his wife.
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amother




Navy
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 9:58 am
Try as much as you can to instill in ur kids a natura state of always being bsimcha. Care for your husband but also make sure to take care of yourself. Boost your daughters self confidence and don’t be critical but hold them accountable and responsible for what’s expected. Respect your husband and demand respect for yourself. Talk positive about ur husband to them and never negative. Please don’t bash me for this Sad I grew up and I’m raising a very frum family ) I have always seen some levels of Normal affection between my parents And I do the same between myself and my husband in front of the kids(hug short backrub compliments ..) and it is so so healthy for them to see. My in laws do not have that relationship and I find it really has a big effect on their children and their children’s marriages( and their own marriage)
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 9:59 am
Maybe instead of focusing on good husbands and good wives. We just need to raise good people.
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Aylat




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 10:13 am
singleagain wrote:
Maybe instead of focusing on good husbands and good wives. We just need to raise good people.


So agree. For some reason the thread title wasn't sitting well with me.
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paintbrush




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Apr 19 2020, 10:46 am
singleagain wrote:
Maybe instead of focusing on good husbands and good wives. We just need to raise good people.

I agree. Good people can work on themselves to be a good husband or wife even if they are clueless in some aspects. It’s very hard to change when a person doesn’t have good kiddos later in life, especially in the context of a marriage.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Apr 20 2020, 9:22 am
Aylat wrote:
I do the opposite! My tween son knows about periods, and as well as the biology Iet him know that the hormonal changes can cause mood swings and he should cut DD slack sometimes if she's grouchy (not that he knows when she has her period) and in the future he should be understanding of his wife.

The opposite is to teach your sons, but I’m asking about daughters.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Apr 20 2020, 9:22 am
singleagain wrote:
Maybe instead of focusing on good husbands and good wives. We just need to raise good people.

Obviously!
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mom2mysouls




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Apr 20 2020, 9:26 am
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
Try as much as you can to instill in ur kids a natura state of always being bsimcha. Care for your husband but also make sure to take care of yourself. Boost your daughters self confidence and don’t be critical but hold them accountable and responsible for what’s expected. Respect your husband and demand respect for yourself. Talk positive about ur husband to them and never negative. Please don’t bash me for this Sad I grew up and I’m raising a very frum family ) I have always seen some levels of Normal affection between my parents And I do the same between myself and my husband in front of the kids(hug short backrub compliments ..) and it is so so healthy for them to see. My in laws do not have that relationship and I find it really has a big effect on their children and their children’s marriages( and their own marriage)


Agree with this!
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