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Stubborn little guy won't go to gan!

 
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 3:06 am
He's 2.5 and he restarted this week. By the second or third day of gan he already caught wind of what's happening each morning. So I've tried bribing with all sorts of sweet things, nothing! He's very stubborn and won't get dressed in the morning and won't leave the house with me. I can't do it by force, he's a big boy already. The last few days there was a minyan going on outside the gannenet's building and I had to drag him in screaming, all the men were staring. embarrassed Today I can't even get him out the door. I give up. All the other kids are home anyway. But it really helps when he goes, he has a good time in the end, and it's good for him, I get more work done and I"M PAYING FOR IT ANYWAY, so he might as well go. Any tips?
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Teomima




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 3:23 am
Here's what worked for me that age:

I'd give my kids something, like a magnet (one of the millions of advertising magnets people would leave on our door) and tell them their ganenet needed it, that it was something very special she was waiting for, and could they be the person who would handle this very special task and give this very important magnet to the ganenet?

Or I'd give them something "very special" from my wallet to hold on to until the end of the day (like a store membership card or, better yet, expired zoo pass, since it had my picture on it).

Right how my 4 year old is giving me grief about going back to gan so I make a little book out of construction paper and every day I put in a drawing, whatever she asks me for, and then I put the book in her bag, so she has something small and special from Ima each day.
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 3:47 am
Teomima wrote:
Here's what worked for me that age:

I'd give my kids something, like a magnet (one of the millions of advertising magnets people would leave on our door) and tell them their ganenet needed it, that it was something very special she was waiting for, and could they be the person who would handle this very special task and give this very important magnet to the ganenet?

Or I'd give them something "very special" from my wallet to hold on to until the end of the day (like a store membership card or, better yet, expired zoo pass, since it had my picture on it).

Right how my 4 year old is giving me grief about going back to gan so I make a little book out of construction paper and every day I put in a drawing, whatever she asks me for, and then I put the book in her bag, so she has something small and special from Ima each day.


You are such an adorable mommy! My son is younger, communicating is harder. He would understand if I said something like "Morah needs this very much. Can you bring it to her?" but I'm certain he'd just reply "LO MORAH LO MORAH!!!"
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 4:20 am
Hmmm... DS went through a stage of "no-mishpachton" at that age. What he ended up needing was reassurance that I wanted him.

My morning speech went something like this:
"You're feeling sad that you're leaving home and going to gan. I'm sad too, that you won't be with me, because I miss you when you're not here. I really want you around. But I'm also happy that you're going to gan, because I know that you're going to have a lot of fun there: you'll ride bikes with your best friend, you'll colour a picture, you'll get to use the mixer to bake cookies, and then you'll go to nap, and by the end of naptime, I'll come and get you, and I'll be so happy to see you, and you'll tell me about all the fun things you did today at gan! "

It told him that I wanted him, that I shared his feelings, what the structure of the day was going to be, and that I was coming back, and that gave him the reassurance he needed at the time.
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amother




Apricot
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 7:46 am
No answers, but it sounds like a lot of the problem is that he's the only one leaving the house in the morning. So it may solve itself when other kids start going too.
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 8:40 am
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
No answers, but it sounds like a lot of the problem is that he's the only one leaving the house in the morning. So it may solve itself when other kids start going too.


Yes, it's for sure part of the issue. If he saw everyone else getting dressed and hopping out the door I don't think we'd have this problem.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 8:42 am
Success10 wrote:
Yes, it's for sure part of the issue. If he saw everyone else getting dressed and hopping out the door I don't think we'd have this problem.


Perhaps try a family walk to gan? LOL
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 8:52 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
Perhaps try a family walk to gan? LOL


You know that could work. The family walk might be good for the other kids too anyway.

My 3 yr old always went willingly when his little brothers came along for the ride to school. FOMO is real.
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 8:58 am
I like the idea! It might take some convincing to get them out of their pajamas, but we have a freezer full of igloos (that's a freeze-pop for the US Imas).
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amother




Silver
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 9:01 am
I’m in the US and my sons playgroup recently reopened but I’m not sending. Shevuos is in a bit anyway. Then a couple weeks later it’s summer. Then hopefully he’ll start cheder. I don’t see the point in fighting it out. Let him be home a bit longer, especially since the other kids are.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 10:52 am
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
I’m in the US and my sons playgroup recently reopened but I’m not sending. Shevuos is in a bit anyway. Then a couple weeks later it’s summer. Then hopefully he’ll start cheder. I don’t see the point in fighting it out. Let him be home a bit longer, especially since the other kids are.

That's good news!! I didn't know any playgroups are open yet in the U.S! Are you on the east coast?
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amother




Silver
 

Post  Wed, May 20 2020, 11:32 am
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
That's good news!! I didn't know any playgroups are open yet in the U.S! Are you on the east coast?

Yeah
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 5:40 am
This guy is STUBBORN! I had his gannenet talk to him on the phone, at first he was all chatty, telling her that his abba is fixing the wall, then he paused as she said something and he screamed into the phone "LO MORAH LO MORAH, LO HOLECH MORAH"
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