INTJ personality type. Who else?

amother

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:03 pm

I’m curious who has the same personality type as me and would love to see what we have in common. Anyone INTJ?

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:07 pm

I am.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:21 pm

I would love to. Smile

amother

Salmon

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:27 pm

my husband is. I think I might have started a thread about him at one point.
it's an incredibly lonely existance for him and frum society is very tough. Once our kids graduate he plans to retire and move to the middle of nowhere. He's learning to fly now so that he can go buy kosher food.

He's incredibly thought out, a real planner, a great problem solver. basically a really "independant" "go to" person but so incredibly burnt out from dealing with people who just cause him problems.

amother

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:29 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I totally get him. You just described me. However it’s not so unusual for a man to have this personality and rather unusual for a woman.

amother

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:30 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

I would love to. Smile

Embrace your personality. All’s good. Each one has its strengths and weaknesses.

amother

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:32 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

I am.

Hi there

I’d never be this friendly in real life but at least I can fake it here.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:32 pm

My dh is. It's freaky how I thought he had a unique personality but turns out it describes my dh to a t.

amother

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:33 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

My dh is. It's freaky how I thought he had a unique personality but turns out it describes my dh to a t.

People consider me a freak as well. Oh well!

amother

Salmon

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:40 pm

trust me. he's unusual even for a guy and feels very existentially lonely. He just watches everyone around him and is like "what is wrong with you?!?!?!? "

to the poster who said it fit her husband does your husband have a rabbi he can relate to? what stream of yidishkeit does he allign with. we've basically given up Sad

way to burnt by a variety of types of rabbis...

malki2

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:41 pm

I’ve already been so classified on a different thread so no need to go anonymous.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:43 pm

My husband is the king of intj! I’m enfp.

To the poster who said it’s hard in the Frum world- can u explain?

Zehava

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:51 pm

No but I seem to find them everywhere even though they’re so rare. Two so far I got very close to, very fast. According to google my type and theirs match up very well. And even the ones I’m not close to, tell me things. Okay everyone tells me things. Still.

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:53 pm

My son is an ISTJ and is in shidduchim. It's really hard for him.

I found this on a page and it's such a perfect description of him. Being an "S" makes it very hard for him to tune in to what other people or even himself are feeling. He had a few dating situations where he made it through quite a few dates and then the girl balked at getting engaged, and I think it's because they recognized his strengths but didn't feel that emotional connection. If anyone knows an ISTJ and how they fared in marriage please let me know!

ISTJ Strengths
Honor their commitments
Take their relationship roles very seriously
Usually able to communicate what's on their minds with precision
Good listeners
Extremely good (albeit conservative) with money
Able to take constructive criticism well
Able to tolerate conflict situations without emotional upheaval
Able to dole out punishment or criticism when called for

ISTJ Weaknesses
Tendency to believe that they're always right
Tendency to get involved in "win-lose" conversations
Not naturally in-tune with what others are feeling
Their value for structure may seem rigid to others
Not likely to give enough praise or affirmation to their loved ones

When faced with criticism, the ISTJ is likely to believe that their point of view is correct. They have a tremendous amount of respect for Facts, and base their opinions on known facts and logic. Consequently, they have a hard time seeing the viability of viewpoints which don't match their own. When the ISTJ gets involved in a disagreement over a point, they usually begin to attempt to recruit the other person over to their own point of view, fully believing that they are right, and that the other individual simply needs to understand the facts of the situation. In such situations, the ISTJ may or may not be right, but their confidence in their own "rightness" can shake the confidence of others involved. This habit can quickly turn conversations into "win-lose" situations, and can present a special problem in intimate relationships. While they may inadvertantly shake the confidence of their colleagues with their "I'm right" approach, the same behavior may cause serious issues within their intimate relationships. The ISTJ's constant assertion of "rightness" may send a message to their mates that they do not value their opinions. If the ISTJ has a mate with a strong Feeling preference, they may inadvertantly wreak havoc with their self-esteem, since Feeling individuals are extremely sensitive to conflict and criticism, and are especially vulnerable in their intimate relationships.

Since ISTJs make decisions using the Thinking function (rather than Feeling), they are not naturally likely to consider their mates feelings and emotions in daily living. This may be a problem if their mates have the Feeling preference, since Feeling individuals usually expect a lot of positive affirmation, which the ISTJ does not naturally communicate to them. The ISTJ needs to remember that others may need to hear that they are loved and valued, even if the ISTJ doesn't need to hear this themself.

ISTJs are generally very capable and efficient at most things which they endeavor. Consequently, their mates are likely to hold a good amount of respect for them. Daily concerns are likely to be well-provided for by the ISTJ. If other concerns, such as emotional needs, are pointed out to the ISTJ as important issues for their mates, the ISTJ will rise to the occasion and add the task of addressing these needs to the internal "list" of duties. Since the ISTJ is so willing to work hard at issues, and so tireless at performing tasks which they feel should be done, the ISTJ generally makes a wonderful, caring mate who is willing and able to promote a healthy, lasting relationship which is also a partnership.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:55 pm

a lot is done in the frum world to make people "feel good".

My dh is like I just want to do what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to learn so I'll learn. I don't like learning gemara but I'm supposed to so I will. Why are they serving beer every night at the kollel? why is there some sort of party or other that learning is cancelled for? Why does the chaburah keep changing the topic so that people who aren't motivated to come learn, just making it annoying for me who actually comes.

Why is there constantly some sort of shabbos of chizuk at shul which requires an extra long davening filled with singing. Don't they care about the people who want to go home to their families?

When he listens to a drasha, hes' not inspired. instead he can explain why the person makes no sense.

He wishes that he didn't have to be part of the "community" He used to do a lot for the community and he kept hitting walls so he was just like why should I bother. When he wasn't frum he just kept to himself. He's been frum for over 11 years at this point and it's been one big disaster but he believes in Hashem and that Hashem gaves us the torah so he staying frum. the end.

if you want I can have him write a whole writeup about the challenges for him in living in the frum community as an intj Wink

amother

Azure

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:59 pm

Omg. This is so funny!
I actually was never into personality types, but once when I was in shidduchim, this guy I was oa date with said to me, “Yeah, my mom and I discussed it, and I really felt strongly about dating an INTJ. We told the the shadchan that’s what I was looking for, so that’s why we were set up!”

No, we didn’t get married, but it definitely got me interested In the topic!

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 4:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Hi there

I’d never be this friendly in real life but at least I can fake it here.

Ha. I hear ya. I have a good friend whose entire field of study is dedicated to personality types. She is fascinated by me and recently came across another frum female INTJ who she said was lonely and asked if I wanted to connect with her. My initial response was that if she is complaining of being lonely she is not a true INTJ. That's when my friend laughed and admitted to putting words in her mouth.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 4:18 pm

slategray- as I said I'm married to an INTJ not an ISTJ but a lot of the things on that list apply to my dh as well. We work really really hard at our marriage, sometimes really bumbling along but I appreciate his strengths and while I drive him crazy ( I would probably drive any guy crazy) I am secure in the fact that he loves me and I do think he's usually happy I'm in his life Smile

amother

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 4:20 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

Exactly. We appear lonely but please don’t solve our problems if we didn’t ask you to.

Zehava

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 4:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Exactly. We appear lonely but please don’t solve our problems if we didn’t ask you to.

Speak for yourself. Every INTJ I broke wide open was grateful.