ISO Beta reader- Update: PUBLISHED!!

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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club

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aweinback

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 12:55 pm

Hi, I am looking for Beta readers for YA/Fantasy novel I've written. It is different than the typical Frum literature available for YA readers and I am curious to know if it would possible be accepted within the average frum home. Does anyone know how I can go about this?
(It is very clean, just a little out of the box. The main characters are a group of young men serving in an army. Some characters are not religious, some smoke, drink a beer now and then, get into fights, etc.) There is a little bit of violence in the battle scenes but not gory at all.
I appreciate your help with this!

Last edited by aweinback on Mon, Sep 04 2023, 7:19 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Clematis

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 2:55 pm

Here is the first chapter if that makes it easier:
Intro:

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jan 19 2023, 11:09 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Hawthorn

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:20 pm

I can't say I follow the story, but I think your choice of genre is a nice change for the frum market, so I'll bump this thread up for you and maybe you'll get a better response.

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:27 pm

Are you looking for a teenager to read this? Or an adult?

teachkids

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:28 pm

Seriously? A cliffhanger?
It took me a while to get what was going on, but once I caught on, it seems excellent. I'm not a particularly englishy person, but I'm happy to read it and give you my thoughts.

amother

Hawthorn

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:31 pm

aweinback wrote:

"Hey, Shadow" I greeted the dark mare running my hands through his mane. "You be a good boy tonight, you hear? Stay quiet and don’t make trouble."

One thing I noticed: a mare is a female horse, not male. A male horse would be a stallion.

amother

DarkViolet

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:37 pm

hawthorn y ou'll make a good beta reader. OP I know people who've asked for and got beta readers on the Soferet group.

amother

Hyssop

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:37 pm

If you're asking if any of this is censor-worthy, no it's not (at least for me, and I have young teen boys). It may be unusual but it doesn't seem problematic.

It does seem very exciting!

aweinback

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:45 pm

amother [ Hibiscus ] wrote:

Are you looking for a teenager to read this? Or an adult?

Either

. My target audience is teenagers but I am very curious to know what an adult would think of it as well.

aweinback

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:50 pm

teachkids wrote:

That would be amazing!!! This is my first time on this forum, how would I go about sending it to you directly?

aweinback

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 8:55 pm

amother [ Hawthorn ] wrote:

One thing I noticed: a mare is a female horse, not male. A male horse would be a stallion.

OMG

See, this is exactly what I need, thank you for that!
And I appreciate you bumping this up!

scruffy

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:47 pm

OP, I think the concept is intriguing and your writing is strong Smile

Just a thought about the character names - unless your island has some Ashkenazim as well, your characters would not have last names like Weiskopf.

aweinback

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:59 pm

scruffy wrote:

OP, I think the concept is intriguing and your writing is strong Smile

Just a thought about the character names - unless your island has some Ashkenazim as well, your characters would not have last names like Weiskopf.

Thank you so much for that feedback! You raise a very good point regarding the names... would you be interested in reading more?

annalee

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:07 pm

I wouldn’t mind reading this. Especially since now I want to know what happens!
You can PM me. I do editing work for several publications.

amf

Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:29 pm

I'm intrigued! I also noticed some grammar/sentence fluency points that need correcting, though I assume your editor would catch those...
I'd love to read a beta version!

Dandelion21

Fri, Dec 10 2021, 12:50 am

Would love to read th rest.

tigerwife

Fri, Dec 10 2021, 1:19 am

I love your writing style! Your story is definitely intriguing.

scruffy

Sun, Dec 12 2021, 1:23 pm

aweinback wrote:

Thank you so much for that feedback! You raise a very good point regarding the names... would you be interested in reading more?

I would love to.

Shoshie

Sun, Dec 12 2021, 2:39 pm

Sounds great so far! I'd like to read more too. I've done a few editing jobs.

aweinback

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:27 pm

BH, just wanted to share that the book is published Very Happy

https://www.israelbookshoppubl.....8.htm

At first I was way too scared to share this story with anyone IRL, thank you to all the Imas on here who took the time and had the patience to read through the very first manuscript and give me your valuable opinions and most importantly the courage I needed to move this project forward! You guys are amazing!

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