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Naming after grandparent
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:08 am
Looking for opinions here. 2 of my grandparents have the same name. (One from paternal side and one from maternal sides). One grandparent has passed away a few years ago , and the other is still alive BH. Would you give a child that name?
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amother




Teal
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:08 am
No
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amother




Violet
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:10 am
No we are ashkenaz and don’t give names of living parents or grandparents.
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amother




Lime
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:10 am
No our minhag is that we don't name after people that are still alive so if there is an overlap the name can't be used.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:21 am
Does it matter if the grandparent is never called by that name?
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amother




Hibiscus
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:37 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Does it matter if the grandparent is never called by that name?


No, if your ashkanezi you don't give that name. Sorry. Choose another grandparent to name after. Smile
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amother




Teal
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:39 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Does it matter if the grandparent is never called by that name?


I really think you should ask your own shayla. While we don't, I've heard of ashkanazi people doing this.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:41 am
Of course I would ask a shayla, was just wondering if anyone had encountered this and what was done.
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amother




Oak
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 9:02 am
I know numerous people in this situation that have stated “I couldn’t name after Zaidy Cohen because Zaidy Levy is also named Yaakov.” I don’t think it’s done and I think Zaidy Levy and family would be offended.

I have a SIL who isn’t naming a name because both sides have a grandfather with that name ans she wants it to be clear who it’s after but also not have to say “by the way he’s named after so and so, not so and so.” Some hold you can’t name one kid after both. Not simple.
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Ellie7




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 9:19 am
I wasn't in this exact situation, but we looked into something similar at one point, and there are ways to do this. Rav Moshe has a teshuva saying that one's name is their full name, so if the name that both grandfathers share is Dovid, but the live grandfather's name is Dovid Shlomo and the grandfather you want to name for had a name of Dovid Shimon, that is a totally different name.

Obviously, there are lots of contingencies, but all the people saying you absolutely cannot do this and there is no way are a bit limited in their view.
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amother




Daylily
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 10:21 am
My grandfathers both have double names and share the first one. One was niftar like 10 yrs before the other so there are a few great-grandchildren who have only the second name of 1 grandfather.
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chocpretzel




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 10:48 am
Most people don’t do but it can be done as Ellie7 mentioned. If you do plan on doing it, it is proper to ask the grandparent who is alive who has the name if they are ok with it first.
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amother




Olive
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 10:56 am
When my father died, my sister was pregnant. Her father-in-law, who has the same first name as my father, told her right away that he's not superstitious in any way, and if it's a boy, she should absolutely give my father's name. It was a boy, and he's the only one in that generation to have the name. The name meant a great deal to my mother, and the whole extended family appreciated the generosity of the other grandfather.
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LittleDucky




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 11:04 am
Is there a second name that differs between the two?
Can you add "chaim"?
Some people dont have an issue with it- you should probably ask the other relative if they mind.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 11:25 am
CYLOR.

Think about it.

There are frequently multiple children in a generation named after the same person. So there is a relative with that name, but the child isn't named after that person.

I don't know why, halachically, there should be a difference.
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theoneandonly




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 11:29 am
Ellie7 wrote:
I wasn't in this exact situation, but we looked into something similar at one point, and there are ways to do this. Rav Moshe has a teshuva saying that one's name is their full name, so if the name that both grandfathers share is Dovid, but the live grandfather's name is Dovid Shlomo and the grandfather you want to name for had a name of Dovid Shimon, that is a totally different name.

Obviously, there are lots of contingencies, but all the people saying you absolutely cannot do this and there is no way are a bit limited in their view.

We asked a Shayla with this exact situation and were told we couldn't use the name.
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amother




Birch
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 11:33 am
My grandfather was Yehuda. My father in law's hebrew name (he goes by his english) is "Yuddel". He insists it was never Yehuda. We asked our rav and he said Yuddel is a nickname for Yehuda and said we should not use the name while he was alive.
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amother




Jasmine
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 11:42 am
Of course not. Would you want a grandchild named after you while you’re alive? (Not sfardi of course, I have sfardi relatives that name after the living)
This is incredibly insensitive.
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amother




Hibiscus
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 11:53 am
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
When my father died, my sister was pregnant. Her father-in-law, who has the same first name as my father, told her right away that he's not superstitious in any way, and if it's a boy, she should absolutely give my father's name. It was a boy, and he's the only one in that generation to have the name. The name meant a great deal to my mother, and the whole extended family appreciated the generosity of the other grandfather.


Wow. Her father in law is really nice to 'clear the air' so to speak.

Totally off topic, but I know a family that would not consider a shidduch if the prospective boy/father shared the name with their own deceased father. I have no idea if they actually didn't go ahead with a shidduch if all else lined up.
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amother




Saddlebrown
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 1:14 pm
No, no & no. Absolutely not.

My sister in law had a two grandparent thing identical to you. The name was used after both had passed, never before that.

Now a distant relative of mine had that too and did use the name. They caused strife and permanent damage to relationships. The living grandparent was just extremely pained. (They happened to be ill, so it was even worse).
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