Naming after grandparent

amother

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 5:55 pm

My husband wants to name our baby after his grandmother (English name, I already chose her hebrew name, but it’s an interesting / uncommon English name that the Hebrew translates into). I already chose the Hebrew name for her and don’t plan to change it. But, the English is an interesting name, so he was trying to encourage me to name her English name after his grandmother rather than the English version of the Hebrew name. Is it right for my husband to have a say in what I name my baby after I already settled on a name? We would still call her by her hebrew name that I chose. But, her English name would be his grandmother.

allthingsblue

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 5:56 pm

It’s both of your baby- not just your baby

We took turns

Our first I let dh choose name

Our second dh let me choose etc

But we each had to like the name

In your case if I were you being that it sounds like the English name won’t be used frequently anyway if I understand correctly I’d let my dh choose it if it meant a lot to him

Bshaa tova

amother

Seablue

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 5:59 pm

How interesting a name? Is it unusual in the secular world too? She will be called by it at doctor's offices, etc, it will be on her drivers license.

If it's really unusual, I would talk to him about using it as a middle name. Realistically, I know a bunch of people who legally changed English names they didn't like to their Hebfew ones or English versions of them when they grew up. That would likely hurt him.

amother

Chestnut

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 6:02 pm

I’m finding the time off this post a little dysfunctional
Hashem gives ruach hakodesh to both parents when naming BOTH of your baby.
I’m so confused why you think this baby belongs to exclusively to you
In terms of naming, I recently listened to the shiurim on making by rabbi Moshe weinberger and gained a lot of insights

http://www.ravweinberger.com/s......html

it’s a series of three shiurim

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 6:05 pm

Is this a joke? Of course your DH has a right to help name the baby, its not just your child and you shouldnt make that decision by yourself. It should be something you both discuss and decide on together, why do you get to name the baby whatever you want and its unfair of him to even suggest a new name (after his grandmother) which apparently the baby wont even be called. This seems like a joke to me..

amother

Brown

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 6:32 pm

I would have to agree with Zinnia.

Think about what you are saying.
You don’t want to name your baby’s English name, which you are not even going to call her by, after your husband’s grandmother because you already chose a name that you like and it is your baby.

I am bewildered.

amother

Chambray

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 6:59 pm

First part of your post … don’t even understand. You chose a Hebrew name related to his grandmothers English name or no connection?
Second part of your post… are you married?! What does that even mean you chose your own name?! You need to choose together

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 7:11 pm

My son is named for my husbands great grandfather. His (ds) english name is my grandfather's english name. absolutely no connection between the names. but we were unable to name after my grandfather so I did that.
I wanted to name my daughter my grandmother's english name (also couldnt name after her hebrew) but that time my husband put his foot down as she had a very unusual Hungarian name that we've never heard from anyone else.
Point is- if its a relatively normal name, I would do it for him

amother

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 7:42 pm

Op here, I guess why I’m hesitant is because he kept going on about how much everyone and him loved the name I chose. I chose this name because I had difficulties conceiving and so I feel connected to it since I named her after my journey. My husband wasn’t even ready for a baby, but did it for me. So, I felt lonely on this journey. As soon as he spoke to his father, he wants me giving her his grandmother English name, and that’s why I’m hesitant. Is this reasonable?

zaq

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 7:46 pm

Is it right for my husband to have a say in what I name my baby

Are you SERIOUS? It's not YOUR baby, you're BOTH parents, even if it feels to you now as if you're the sole parent because you're toting Junior around inside you. You're the one who's pregnant, yes, but you're both expectant parents. You keep talking about YOUR baby, as if you're a single parent, and YOU already decided, apparently without consulting your dh, on a name for the baby. If you have to ask if it's wrong for your dh to have a say in naming the child HE sired (I mean, I assume so? Even if you used AID, your dh is still the father in every way that counts), I frankly worry about your marriage.

FTR, many men are "not ready" to be fathers until the baby is actually born. Come to think of it, neither are many women.

ETA I see your dh did consent to the name you chose, so I apologize for jumping to conclusions, but I'm still troubled that you see the child as yours and not your husband's. Decisions about your child's future need to be made jointly and not unilaterally. Sometimes compromise is necessary.

Last edited by zaq on Mon, Oct 16 2023, 7:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Chestnut

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 7:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

I still don’t understand the separation between you and your husband (I.e. “I” had difficulty conceiving)
It’s not how marriage works
Also, who cares what his English name is? It has no relevance to the essence of the child
Your husband had no part in choosing the child’s real name?

Also, why do you say that you chose the name? In my marriage, if I come up with a name, we discuss it together and make sure we’re both on the same page. So I may have thought of it, but WE chose it.

And why does everyone else know the name already?

singleagain

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 9:43 pm

If I'm understanding... And I'm going to use an outlandish name, of a wicked person. Just so that way no one has any hard feelings on the name

You have chosen the band "Izevel" which has the English translation "jezebel" which you do not like bc it's weird or whatever. Now DH is in board with "Izevel" but wants to on the birth certificate use the name "Susan" bc that was his grandma's name...

I mean. What's wrong with that? Bc the Hebrew and English name don't match? So many ppl have names that don't match.