Psoriasis!! Shalom Bayis issue

amother

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 2:52 pm

My husband has terrible psoriasis, and refuses to do anything about it. When I say terrible, I mean 90-95% his entire body (besides for his face and a couple of small areas of a couple of inches each here and there) is covered with very thick layers of dead flakey skin. It flakes all over the place, its all over our bedroom, the bathrooms, and he scratches in common areas like the couch and leaves the mess. He says he doesnt want to do laser or get the shots because he is afraid it will lower his immune system, or something. Is this even true?? He feels hurt and upset when I bring it up and says it only bothers me because "I care what other people think", which makes no sense, since he wears long sleeves and long pants out of the house so no one besides me and our kids see it anyway (besides the area on his scalp). I also am the last person who cares what other people think, and he knows that. I am a very clean hygenic person and it is pure hell for me to deal with , it grosses me out in the bedroom, and when I walk around my house and see the flakes it makes me violently nauseous. I spend my days sweeping and scrubbing. He uses creams which totally don't help, and in fact make things more disgusting because the gooey tar smelling creams are left open, it stinks, gets it on the bathroom sink, and puts it on before going to sleep so it destroys our linen.
I am trying to be a caring wife and I barely bring it up, but I am human. It's made me hate having relations (and he wonders why I dont initiate). I am supportive to the point that even when I bring it up that he should try laser/shots, I make it sound like he should do it for himself, he will feel so much better etc. He still just ignores, and continues his scratching all over the house, and refusing the dermotologist.
I should probably put this in the shalom bayis section!! I am dying over here, its been about 10 years of this. (it started with just small areas on his scalp before spreading to his entire body, over the course of several years). IS THERE ANYTHING OUT THERE THAT CAN HELP?? A DIET?? A WIVES TALE?? something that might work??

amother

Begonia

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 3:30 pm

I'm so sorry OP. Severe psoriasis is he11 on the individual who is suffering with it - and on the family too. Physically and emotionally. Please do some research to find a dermatologist or even a rhumatologist who specializes in psoriasis in your area. Many cases are triggered by a bacterial infection (personally I developed a skin infection both staph and strep that lead to a full body breakout lasting months before I worked up the courage to go get help - and only because I also developed arthritis that was crippling). I know someone it took years for them to get treatment and a bacterial infection was easy to treat and the psoriasis healed. Treating the bacterial infection can be life changing if there is one! Other infections that research shows can cause a major psoriasis issue include hpylori - it's so important to have a conversation with a doctor about ruling out infections that might be triggering it (or worsening it) altogether.

It's also important to be monitored for infection because having open wounds can increase the risk, and those with psoriasis overall are at a higher risk for infection. Same with arthritis - monitoring for this is important because arthritis indicates damage is being caused to the joints and sometimes medication is necessary to stop the damage.

There are other treatments. Light treatments can help (I know someone who had nearly 100% clearance for years with regular light treatments in the office). There are multiple injection options, immunosuppression is an issue that should be discussed with the doctor for sure, but don't make assumptions because there are new amazing treatments.

Look at going to the doctor as a consultation, looking to learn about treatment options, about risks and benefits of having or not having any given treatment. Also talk about causes to rule out environmental (someone told me mold can cause it). And ask about genetic risks to the kids, signs to look for, so you can be prepared if needed.

As an aside, I've heard some experience some improvement with weight loss, or with cutting out inflammatory foods (sugar, flour, anything processed). But there's a lack of solid evidence on that.

Psoriasis is the immune system attacking the largest organ in the body, the skin. The immune system evolves, so if it's not caused by an infection - the immune system will likely adapt over time and other treatment options may need to be explored. It's a long haul for sure.

In my case BH they treated the infection and my psoriasis cleared over 90%. Arthritis too. It comes back when I'm naturally immunosuppressed (pregnancy) or when I'm dealing with any infection including a cold. Genetically there's a predisposition - my immune system panics when something goes off and attacks my skin and joints...

It sounds like you are struggling in multiple ways with your husband's condition - and he senses it. He knows you feel grossed out and or disgusted - and that sympathy and concern are not the primary drivers. And that will make him more resistant to going to a specialist for a consultation. Remember - and remind him - that you are partners in life, and that if there's a chance it's an infection that can be healed to reduce or stop him from feeling uncomfortable, you want to chase it down to support him. Talk to a couples therapist if needed, it sounds like you might benefit from developing some further skills or working with a supportive clinician to overcome communication issues on this sensitive topic.

May Hashem help all who have psoriasis and other immune system issues! Refuah shelaima to your husband!

amother

Ivory

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 4:01 pm

I totally commiserate with the awful mess the flaking skin makes; we dealt with a lot of that before shots. For severe cases like this, getting approved (by insurance) for shots is more likely. We tried light therapy first, but it didn’t help that much (in our case), and is much more time-consuming than shots. Twice weekly for at least a while. While with shots, after the initial two, the schedule switched to just once in 3 months (at least in our case). So he wouldn’t have to deal with it much at all, and could even give himself the shots if he prefers that. And has B”H made a huge difference. As far as the immune system getting messed up? Haven’t noticed any signs of that. It’s a messed up immune system that causes the psoriasis in the first place. Hatzlocha, I really wish you all the best in dealing with this.

amother

Clematis

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 4:02 pm

Try working with nutritionist.

amother

Skyblue

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 4:06 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

Try working with nutritionist.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/p.....365/#!po=0.458716

amother

Ivory

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 4:08 pm

amother Skyblue wrote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8016365/#!po=0.458716

The feeling I get is that OP’s dh isn’t going to be willing to put all this effort into changing his diet.

amother

Yolk

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 4:09 pm

I identify with you even though my husbands isn’t nearly so bad. He has found that when he eats animal protein, low carb veg and no dairy, he does better.

It doesn’t bother him as much as it bothers me but he is conscious of it.

amother

Quince

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 4:13 pm

try Dr Warshowsky, Rye NY. (he is a medical doctor who combines medicine and nutrition for chronic issues.)
There could be a weakness in one of his organs which acts out as psoriasis..
this doctor works on zoom. he does bloodwork that regular doctors dont do and its highly likely you will see 80% improvement with the right supplements.

amother

Yolk

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 4:22 pm

Some people say that a week at the Dead Sea ( I think the ozone is thick or thin there or something plus the water can really help. My sister in law has this issue and she had researched that.

I will say that hers resolved a lot when she became diabetic and started eating low carb to resolve that. I don’t know what she eats every day but she’s controlling her diabetes through diet so it’s working.

Anonymous because it’s not about me.

amother

Celeste

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 4:28 pm

My mother and brother suffer from psoriasis. My brother did light therapy which didn't help. And now he's doing the shots which are really helping and he's bh clearing up.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 5:52 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

Try working with nutritionist.

This! Psoriasis comes from toxic in the liver. I have worked with a nutritionist, bh saw major improvement. If you would like I can share her info with you.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 5:56 pm

amother Skyblue wrote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8016365/#!po=0.458716

This study has enough limitations that it should not be used as an example.

This is not sustainable and was done by a nutrition supplement company. This is not a realistic answer. You need to read studies not just post stuff that has What you want in the title.

Anyone reading this knows I am very pro low carb but this study is too limited and conflicted to count for anything.

vintagebknyc

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 6:00 pm

There are a few really good, injectable treatments for this. I've seen miraculous results on friends. You need to force him to see a doctor

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 7:24 pm

amother Skyblue wrote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8016365/#!po=0.458716

As I cautioned in the other thread, this paper is one paper with limitations.

N is 30 people and the odds that most people here understand what this says is low. In addition it seems to have been sponsored by a nutrition supplement business.

All this added to the fact that under 500 calories a day is unsustainable. For anyone.

amother

Snow

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 7:30 pm

Try having him take probiotics, the good ones that are supposed to be kept in the fridge, any health food store will have them. Another thing to try is going off sugar.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 7:53 pm

I did Dr Paganos diet and it worked wonders

amother

Poppy

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 8:56 pm

The shots are life changing.

amother

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 4:18 pm

OP here- thank you everyone for your chizzuk and advice. I am really going to encourage (aka beg him) to take the shots, and look into the other ideas.
My husband isn't interested in changing his diet, or do anything that requires even a drop of effort, since he really thinks it perfectly acceptable to live this way and he really just thinks this is something he will just live with for the rest of his life, and as no interest in any change, which is very very frustrating. I am actually going to push him to the dermotologist for something else (wishful thinking that hell actually go) , but if he does I am hoping the doctor will push the shots while he's there- he is literally covered head to toe, and any doctor who would see whats going on would push him in that direction. I hope.
Thanks everyone for your support. Heart

Last edited by amother on Wed, Aug 24 2022, 5:29 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Catmint

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 4:49 pm

Dr Pagano’s diet is cultivated specifically for psoriasis sufferers and it really cures it.

amother

Melon

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 5:15 pm

My sisters had Psoriasis from a very young age, and my husband got it as an adult, and has dealt with it for many years.
Yes, your husband must see a dermatologist, but not just any old dermatologist who will likely only push creams that are likely ineffective.
If you are in the NY area, I would highly recommend Dr. Marc Lebwohl, at Mt. Sinai Hospital in NYC. I believe that he is the head of the dermatology department. It is possible that he no longer sees patients, but if so, there is an excellent Nurse Practitioner there, that works under his guidance. They are up on the latest treatments, and will steer your husband in the right direction.
In my husband’s case, light treatment were effective for a period of time, but ultimately he was put on injections of a biologic.
Let your husband discuss all his concerns about immuno suppression with the medical professionals.