Badeken conversation

amother

Strawberry

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 6:19 pm

Not_in_my_town wrote:

In the chasidishe world the chasan covers the kallah with the dek tichel. (Not sure what they do if chupaas niddah)

You wore it before your chassan came in?
Interesting. Which community?

No he put it over me at the badeken so that’s why the chuppah we couldn’t whisper or look at each other

amother

Tomato

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 6:19 pm

amother Strawberry wrote:

Did anyone wear a dek tichel-I’m not Chassidish but we keep the minhagim so being that I wore a thick opaque veil I was essentially blind I couldn’t see dh or anything else so it wasn’t particularly romantic until it came off

Chassidim don't think of the baddeken as a very romantic time.
My husband didn't even come to baddeken. It was my father and father in law.

amother

DarkCyan

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 6:24 pm

amother Beige wrote:

My husband gave me a bracha. He was told to. I was waiting for him to say I look beautiful and he never did Sad

Not in the yichud room either. And I told him I loved him and he said “you think you do”. I was so insulted. BH we have a great marriage and he tells me he loves me all the time. When I ask him about this he says he doesn’t remember.

Oy, I feel bad you had this expectation. Didn't even think of that by my wedding.

amother

Puce

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 6:27 pm

My husband said "hi" lol--he was just excited to see me. I jokingly said "now we don't have to plan a wedding anymore" and he laughed. He took a second peek under my veil before he left. It was very sweet. We're modern Yeshivish BTs who made our own wedding (with lots of help from friends)

amother

Aster

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 6:46 pm

I'm chabad, our badekens are serious. We consider it a holy and auspicious time, we sing a special niggun from the first chabad Rebbe that is only song on very rare occasions.
The first time I saw a non chabad lively badeken, it was so different!
I was davening the whole time and I didn't look up at all. I wanted the first time we looked at each other in a week to be as a married couple and to tap into the holiness of that time by focusing on my davening. A
After the glass was smashed, then it was only huge simcha singing and dancing. That first picture when my veil is lifted and we looked at each other is absolutely stunning! We joke that it's a good thing I didn't look up because my husband was so serious and nervous he practically looked like a sheep led to slaughter. I only got to see that on the video Smile

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 6:50 pm

amother Sapphire wrote:

The most solemn badecken I saw was a Shor Yashuv wedding. The music sounded like a funeral, if people had music at a funeral. When it was over, all the kallah's friends stood there in shock. Then some of them burst out in a joyful rendition of Siman tov umazel tov.
Does anyone else have experience with a Shor Yashuv wedding, and is that the norm?

I LOVE Sh'or Yoshuv Badekens! They are so emotional and meaningful and filled with tefillah.
My husband is not a Sh'or Yoshuv guy, but my father is and I specifically asked DH to do a Sh'or Yoshuv badeken.
The tune they sing is called "Adam HaRishon's Niggun" which is a tune they sing in Sh'or Yoshuv on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.
You can hear it here, but at the badeken, they don't sing any words, just the tune with "nai nai nai."

amother

Babypink

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 6:58 pm

rachelli66 wrote:

The Couple speaking with each other at the baddekin is just the last few years. It is extremely different, (not bad just different) the way we had our wedding. I think I would have been too nervous to listen or speak with my DH before at the Badekkin. Life changes. 10 years ago there was no whatsapp. Now we got it.

My sister got married over 20 years ago. I got married over 15 years ago. It’s not only the last few years.
I don’t understand why everyone questions why other people do things, especially when it doesn’t affect them….

amother

Tomato

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 7:02 pm

amother Vermilion wrote:

Excuse my ignorance but what's sh'or yoshov?

amother

Peachpuff

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 7:05 pm

A lively badeken is only an American thing. In Europe a badeken is serious, solemn moment. Litvish, chassidish, modern orthodox. If there is any music it is slow & moving, or the men sing a slow niggun. When I first saw an American lively badeken I was horrified.
I dont recall if/what my chassan said anything to me - all I saw was this big smile of his, but it was a serious occasion.

Not_in_my_town

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 7:20 pm

amother Strawberry wrote:

No he put it over me at the badeken so that’s why the chuppah we couldn’t whisper or look at each other

That's what I meant: At the bedeken the chasan puts it on the kallah.

salt

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 1:36 am

amother Babypink wrote:

It's the kind of things people wonder, to themselves, but it would be too silly to ask people in real life, because as you say, it's not important, so they come on here to ask.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 2:35 am

amother Peachpuff wrote:

NOt at all. The liveliest bakedens Ive ever seen were in the dati leumi world with hesder guys and sherut leumi girls. So much dancing and so much singing.

PeanutMama

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 2:53 am

amother Vermilion wrote:

I recognized that tune from this video, I didn’t know it was from adam harishon, wow! This one is much slower. Sorry for going off topic lol

amother

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 8:41 am

amother Babypink wrote:

I don't understand why people get offended by other people asking questions out of curiosity, especially when it doesn't affect them...

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 8:55 am

Badekens are my absolute favorite part of the wedding!
And I cry -sentimental/joy every time-even if I don’t know the person (ie. my DH’s co-worker’s kid) or it is a YouTube video of complete strangers.

Married 25 years.
My DH was danced in and out it is a very exciting and joyous time.
My DH told me that he loves me, asked if I’m ready for this, if I am sure, because if I am not-now is the time to say so ( his father said the same thing to both of us- and to every siblings/in-laws- don’t worry about the money or the guests- if you want out, my car is in the back and we can leave). He told me that can’t wait and is so excited to be married to me.

Honest Question, isn’t the whole idea of the Badeken that the Chatan places the veil so he knows it is the right Kallah? (Ie Ya’akov and Rachel/Leah) how does it make sense that her father/grandfather or even his father does it and he is not there to see?

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 8:57 am

DrMom wrote:

None of your beeswax! Wink

With a response like that, you know I’m thinking he was saying that you look hot and that he can’t wait to biblically make you his wife.