Be honest: Does this look like a sanitary pad???

greenfire

Wed, May 28 2008, 9:41 am

louche - maybe they turn blue after the pee ... What

in every school I know other than a 2 year old playgroup - at home with a mommy type morah ... all kids must come toilet trained ...

a rebbie dealing with young boys who can potentially have accidents - better be prepared to handle them ...

ditto for the not learning torah in a potty environment ...

I sort of like gamzu's idea ...

however try to imagine the therapy the poor kid is gonna need if anybody compares them to sanitary napkins ... hey you yourself did ... What

take it all off bet now and next week ... everything should only be potty & undies ... it really doesn't take much longer - just make no issues of pressure like you have to or cheder won't take you ... kids pick up on this stuff ... if he wets you and he clean it up - factually ...

Mama Bear

Wed, May 28 2008, 9:51 am

mimivan, if a boy has a stinky accident, mommy has to come down and change him. I'm trying not to think about it; I'm davening that he saves his stinkies for after cheder so I can deal with it at home. he hasnt mastered holding that in yet. he comes to tell me when it's already in his underwear (and finishes on the potty)

mummy-bh, the rebbes take the kids every 1 1/2 - 2 hours to the bathroom, so the 'peer pressure' and 'everyone else goes too' and the fact that his liquid intake in cheder will be about 1/4 of his liquid intake at home, is making me hope he'll be dry in cheder as soon as she gets the hang of asking the Rebbe when he needs to go.

louche and greenfire, I doubt the 2 1/2 year old boys a) look into other kids' underwear, or b) have any clue waht sanitary pads are Smile

lol

gryp

Wed, May 28 2008, 10:25 am

Mama Bear, who will change the liner if he wets himself? Will he do it himself? I don't get it.
When does cheder start for him? It sounds to me more that you're hoping for no accidents but he's not really trained if he's still having accidents. How much time does he have to complete his toilet training?

Lots of times kids somehow get on a schedule for their bathroom needs. So it could be he won't have any major accidents in school, he'll save them for home, but I'm worried about him sitting in a wet liner. Confused

mommalah

Wed, May 28 2008, 10:31 am

I would forego the liners and pull ups altogether. Like you said he may just go in the pull up instead of the bathroom b/c it's there. I found this to be true with my dd. What I did with her was focus on the importance of her panties being dry. And that she needed to make sure that they stay dry. And to do that she has to go to the toilet whenever she "has a feeling". When we were at home if she kept her undies dry I would reward her with lots of verbal praise. And in school she understood that if her undies were dry at the end of the day she would get a reward (be it a small nosh or whatnot). Maybe if you promised him a small treat when he gets home if he keeps them dry.

Good Luck. I know how stressful this stage can be.

square_peg

Wed, May 28 2008, 10:37 am

Well, when my kid learned that when you pee in your pants, your mother has to come and change you.. He peed in his pants when he wanted his mother to come and take him home.

Well, since we both work, the one with a car (Totty) went home, took a change of clothing to cheder, changed him in the bathroom, and took him back into class.

He didnt do that again.

Mama Bear

Wed, May 28 2008, 10:42 am

GR and mommalah:

He is iyh starting cheder in one week, on rosh chodesh sivan. I would call him 70% trained, because he still hasnt mastered #2, and he still has 1-2 wet accidents a day, and does not keep dry if we're outdoors where he is absorbed in playing or is in the stroller and running errands. So, he is trained enough to go to cheder, meaning he wont just wet his pants all day long, but he can still have the occasional wet accident, esp if they'll be playing outdoors, which they probably do daily in this nice weather.

What is my point of sending him in a liner in teh beginning? GR, no one will change his wet liner, but at least his outer pants or shorts wont get soaked and eh wont be standing in a puddle. I am worried that the first couple of days he'll be too overwhelmed to process the whole cheder routine, he'll be a little homesick, he'll be learning how to get on with other children, and he won't think of the Rebbe yet as a person to go to when he needs to use the toilet. So, if he has a wet accident on the first 2-3 days, it might be a totally traumatic and humiliating experience for him, which will make him cry and/or hate cheder right away. Since nobody will change his wet pants, he'll be walking around uncomfortable and wet all day. Suppose he has an accident on the bus, or during breakfast, he'll be sitting from 10 a.m. til he comes home at 3:30 in wet underwear and pants. That could be traumatic for him, since at home he gets changed from an accident. If he wears a diaper doubler, it absorbs his wetness. it'll definitely be a little uncomfortable, but it won't be half as uncomfortable as being in wet undies and pants. Pullups, on the other hand, give him the feeling of diapers and he then doesnt even try to hold it in or ask for the toilet. So a liner is a good compromise between only an underpants and a pullup. This way, the first couple of days while he learns the ropes of cheder and he learns the ropes of how the toilet system works, if he does wet himself, it's not an embarrassing incident and he isn't traumatized by it. No, his liner wont be changed and he will be a bit uncomfortable, but at least he wont be standing in a puddle with wet patches on his shorts and feeling like he really wants his mommy now.

He still ahs one week to go and is making constant improvements. By next week wednesday if he is toally accident free I might just use it on the first 1-2 days for my own peace of mind. If he comes home consistently dry then I can stop using them.

Hope this helps!

flowerpower

Wed, May 28 2008, 10:45 am

Mama bear-I heard of kids becomming fully toilet trained when going to cheder. The rebbe takes the kids to the bathroom a few times a day and the prevent a few accidents. He might just go along with the flow and do what everyone else is doing. A cousin of mine came for shabbos and had those for overnight.

Mama Bear

Wed, May 28 2008, 10:50 am

I know, flowerpower. that' swhy I'm daring to send him even though he's not perfect yet. but I'm thinking of using the liner the first 2-3 days while he gets used to cheder.

amother

Wed, May 28 2008, 10:52 am

My dd had a ton of accidents for 6 months. finally I told her that if she has any more accidents I wouldnt let her change her undies. I stressed how ichie it would be to sit wet and dirty all day. and made sure she saw that I was serious.
literally overnight she stopped having accidents.

mama bear, what do the rebbes do if a boy wets himself? do they change him?

anon b/c of my dd.

Mama Bear

Wed, May 28 2008, 11:22 am

nope. they leave the kid wet til the kid gets home. which is better than having me come down daily to change him, but that's why iw anted him to start with the liners.

shoy18

Wed, May 28 2008, 11:51 am

he might just be totally fine, Im sure the rebbe has set times he takes all the children to the bathroom, he wont have to ask becasue he will get used to going when the rebbe takes him.

Also when you take him that first day, make sure he is shown wear the bathroom is exactly, and tell him if he needs to make that is where he will need to go. My ds is funny like that anytime we go to a new place he needs to know where the bathroom is in case he might need to go.

GAMZu

Wed, May 28 2008, 12:53 pm

Quote:

So a liner is a good compromise between only an underpants and a pullup.

I think he'll perceive the liner like a diaper. That's why I suggested sticking it between 2 pairs of underwear ---NOT 2 training pants. It will only be one extra thin layer, and he will feel like he's just in underwear.

ChutzPAh

Wed, May 28 2008, 9:03 pm

Oy, I can see the headlines already, "Satmar lady sends son to Cheder with sanitary pads!"

Just kidding. I think Gamzu's idea might work.

Mama Bear

Wed, May 28 2008, 10:14 pm

BH today he had a near perfect day, he had 2 accidents when he was already up for 10 or 11 hours (I dont even count those on account of exhaustion and burnout). I'm so happy bh.

Mama Bear

Fri, May 30 2008, 1:46 pm

it arrived today. oy does it look like a sanitary pad!! and so uncomfortable. but we put it between 2 pairs of underpants and he didnt even notice it. he kept dry anyway bh Smile

so I think I'll take gamzu's idea; I'll send him with 2 pairs of regular underear or thinner training briefs, and this liner in between. thanks!

amother

Fri, May 30 2008, 3:49 pm

my son became very "picky" with his underwear after he started going to cheder... even before he turned 3. He hated when kids remarked that he has cars, or trains on his underpants, so he insisted - before the age of 3, that he only wanted white underwear... He'd wear light blue and white stripes, or solid light blue, but pictures were out!

Mama Bear

Fri, May 30 2008, 4:09 pm

lol. he actually loves pciture underwear but therye too thin for someone who still has daily accidents.

greenfire

Fri, May 30 2008, 5:03 pm

mama bear wet is wet ... doesn't matter how thick the wet is ... I never used those training underwear for that reason ...

anyways I'm gonna be the bold one and let you know aside from embarrassing your kid with these sanitary pad looking contraptions ... don't you think you would be absolutely mortified when the rebbie comes to you and says: Mrs Mama Bear why is your son wearing um a ladies um personal um item embarrassed

you could talk blue in the face but there is NO WAY I would consider it and by the way you posed the thread title "does this look like a sanitary pad?" you darn well know it does !!! What

Mama Bear

Fri, May 30 2008, 5:38 pm

I repeat; his rebbe wont see it, esp if it's sandwiched between 2 underpants. they just pull the kids' pants down and dont peer into it.

wet it wet, but if there is no puddle running down his leg, he wont be mortified on his first day of cheder.

but anyway, I'm waiting for the other diaper doubler to come in, that's white and not pink at least.

training pants is thicker than regular underwear so it can absorb some wetness and not leave puddles everywhere.

luvmyjob

Sat, May 31 2008, 10:58 pm

Mama bear, it seems like your child is just not ready for this school, if the teachers there are not able to take care of the child's basic needs why are you sending him there? Why dont you wait til he is 100% trained?