I’m so angry at my kids I feel like smacking them

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 2:24 pm

Obviously I won’t. Age 9 and 6 (and the 3 yo is a darling who listens). One is an introvert who refuses to play at a friend and from the minute he comes home at 4 until nighttime he is wild and fighting with his brother.
I asked them to clean up their toys in the playroom but they refuse. They are just being wild, fighting, making more of a mess etc.

I am so angry and have no idea how to handle. This happens every night In the winter. In the summer my younger ds plays with friends and older ds rides his bike.

amother

Beige

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 2:29 pm

Set up an activity schedule with them for after school include a new craft or arts and crafts supplies.. they're bored.

amother

IndianRed

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 2:30 pm

Wow are you in my house?? Same situation
But I know it’s my problem
My kids just had a long hard day and need to feel safe at home, so I try my best to stay off my phone and be there with them
Surprise surprise, the better I am at being there, the better behaved they are

amother

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 2:34 pm

amother Beige wrote:

Set up an activity schedule with them for after school include a new craft or arts and crafts supplies.. they're bored.

They are not interested the tiniest bit. Only my 3 yo is interested in that.

amother

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 2:35 pm

amother IndianRed wrote:

In what way?

Today I tried engaging them in conversation and all I got was rude responses. I took my phone and here I am.

They don’t want to play any board games and neither do I after a long day of work honestly

#BestBubby

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 2:49 pm

Separate the fighters.

Give healthy snacks and a drink as soon as they get home.

Maybe go for a walk or to park after school?

amother

Petunia

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 2:50 pm

Snacks and activities is the way to go. Start doing a puzzle, building with lego, or doong something they like and they will join you.

amother

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 2:52 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

Snacks and activities is the way to go. Start doing a puzzle, building with lego, or doong something they like and they will join you.

They had snacks

Not interested in Lego. They have too much of it for too many years, it’s not exciting for them. They don’t want to do puzzles either

amother

Viola

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:22 pm

Very much feel you.

I’ve been schooling myself to understand that I’m the adult and in control of how I behave with my kids. In turn, they’re slowly starting to see me as the authority.

That means:

- Tell, don’t ask.
You their mother; they’re obligated to listen to you. Show them a firm, cool, even demeanor that guides them to behave properly.

- Talk, don’t yell.
So so hard! But worth it.

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