Shaving? | Imamother

amother

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:13 pm

Dd is 12 and going to camp for the first time. This shabbos I realized when she put on nude tights that I shoudl really be teaching her to shave her legs?

She is my oldest. I grew up with absentee parents so no one taught me anything and I only learnt “on the job” ( many embarrassing moments )

So help me out- do 12 year old shave ? Legs and under arms? What are best products for me to buy her ( I did laser when I got married so not things I have I. House…)
Or is she too young?

amother

Hawthorn

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:33 pm

I bought DD a little electric shaver with batteries. Feels safer than razors especially with her going off to camp where I can't help her. She was just under 12 years old but her hair had started getting coarse and she felt self conscious about it.

amother

Snapdragon

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:38 pm

My daughter is 13 going to camp for the first time. I already wax underarms for her which I'll do right before camp. And she started doing an epilady right before pesach time which she'll bring to camp to do every week.

ysydmom

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:39 pm

Get her a regular good Bic Solei shaver and some shaving cream and show her what to do. If she doesn't wear a cover up in the pool show her the area where to shave so she won't be embarrassed with hair sticking out.

She will get the hang of it pretty quick.

amother

Papayawhip

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

Dd is 13 and started shaving a year or 2 ago when the hair became obvious. From my conversation with friends and with dd, many girls that age shave. If they don’t it’s because they have no hair yet or it’s very light.
I didn’t give her a choice I just presented it as something women do and she was fine with that. I bought Venus razors on sale from Costco, showed her how to use them and told her to use soap or conditioner. I don’t find shaving cream necessary and it’s just an extra thing to keep around

amother

Lemonchiffon

Sun, May 07 2023, 7:48 pm

If she is 12 and hair is already showing on legs and/or underarms, yes, time to shave!

Please make sure she is comfy with it before camp.

Please don't let her be “that girl”.

BrisketBoss

Sun, May 07 2023, 7:50 pm

amother Begonia wrote:

I didn't start shaving until 13. Ask her what she wants. Not everyone likes to shave. Most body hair didn't bother me.

Same. My mother did her duty by offering and I was pretty much like "Mo-ommm!" I later did it for a while and then stopped again.

amother

Violet

Sun, May 07 2023, 7:58 pm

amother Papayawhip wrote:

Why are you forcing her to shave? This is really harmful behavior & body shaming. It should be her choice. Plenty women don't shave and don't care. Don't teach your daughter to be self conscious!

ra_mom

Sun, May 07 2023, 8:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

Tell her that many girls shave visible hair like on bottom legs when wearing pantyhose, underarms and sides of bikini when swimming. Tell her you want to teach her how to shave.
Teach her how to use a razer (I show on my own leg, discuss making sure leg is wet and moisturized before, being careful not to cut), but I actually give them an electric shaver to start with. When they're ready for the razor they ask me (a year or 2 later) and I re-teach them how to be very careful, once again.
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amother

Papayawhip

Mon, May 08 2023, 1:54 pm

amother Violet wrote:

Why are you forcing her to shave? This is really harmful behavior & body shaming. It should be her choice. Plenty women don't shave and don't care. Don't teach your daughter to be self conscious!

Sorry but I disagree. I think shaving underarms and legs is a universal norm and presenting it as such is the right way for me. I never used the word force, I don’t think dd would use it, there was no fight just maybe some discomfort at the annoyance. If she decides not to shave as she gets older I won’t push it but when she walked into the first day of swimming at camp and saw that 99% of the girls shaved she was quite happy that I presented it the way I did.

LovesHashem

Mon, May 08 2023, 2:25 pm

Give her the options, but her different kinds of products to try out. Let her know shaving is her choice but if her hair is visible most women shave and other girls may notice.

I went to camp at that age and girls definitely shaved. They had shaving parties in middle of the bunkhouse I remember with shaving cream.

amother

Mauve

Mon, May 08 2023, 2:40 pm

This thread is really helpful. I was “that girl” but only realized it years later. My mother was actually against shaving and was even mad when my KT told me to shave as a kallah. Dd is 11 now and getting hairy. I’m really nervous to approach topics I have so little knowledge of.

BusyMama1

Mon, May 08 2023, 3:03 pm

I told dd that if you'd like you can shave to get rid of the hair in these areas. Mentioned that many girls/women do it if they don't like the hair there.

She was more then fine with it and has been doing it ever since. I think she didn't like it even before that so she was really happy that I brought it up.

Good luck!