What's an acceptable mark for not studying?

amother

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:04 pm

We have a rule in our house. If you study, and try, any mark is acceptable.

However, often my kids do not want to study. Then they come home with certain grades I personally don't find acceptable only because they didn't study. If they did, it would be fine grades.

To you, which grade or higher would be okay. My kids think I'm too strict about it.

amother

Blonde

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:06 pm

I don't think the number really matters. If they would have done better if they studied, even if it was marginal then it's not acceptable not to study. Unless maybe they're scoring in the high 90s

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:07 pm

How is it acceptable not to study? Your asking the wrong question.

If every mark is acceptable so long as they study, it doesn’t sound like your talking about A students.

amother

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:09 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

How is it acceptable not to study? Your asking the wrong question.

Depending on the subject, there is no reason to study if the kids knows it very well. I have a child who is great at gemara bh. He doesn't often study and gets 95+.
Why would I have him waste time studying? Kids are in school so late these days, I like them to have spare time to just be.

amother

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:10 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

How is it acceptable not to study? Your asking the wrong question.

If every mark is acceptable so long as they study, it doesn’t sound like your talking about A students.

Their grades without studying generally range from 85 to 100. I feel like with studying, they can always get above a 93 or so. It's silly not to but they don't want to.

Java

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

It's not really about the studying. It's about performing to your fullest potential. If he's doing that then there's no reason to push the studying. If he's not then you should.

notshanarishona

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:12 pm

If a kid was getting under 85 , I would make them study. Above that I wouldn’t blame them for not trying. They aren’t being challenged enough.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:13 pm

My parents had a similar rule, and I actually give over a similar message in my classroom as a teacher. We had 90 as the cut off. It had to be an A if you said you knew it and didn't need to study. If you put in reasonable effort, then the grade didn't matter

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok - I’ll change study to ‘walk into test prepared’ - which some students are without ‘studying’.

Seems like you are okay for them not to study, why are you then asking which grades are acceptable?

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:25 pm

I think it depends on the age of the kids.

If elementary school, it is important that they learn study skills. I had one dc who when younger, got good grades with minimal effort. He breezed through with A's and B's. By high school, he had a massive rude awakening. Not only did he have to study, to just pass, he had no clue how. I should have sat with him when he was younger and insisted he aim for 100s just so he would get the skills, as well as the concept that sometimes we have to put in effort.

If your kids are in high school, have the skills and know the material, and are simply choosing to get an 80 in 1 or 2 particular classes rather than to study, I wouldn't get involved.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:28 pm

My rule is that they need to look over the material once. One of my kids is quite smart and 5 minutes is enough for her. To just look over the material. It gets them accustomed to putting in some effort no matter how easy it is.

amother

Wine

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:18 pm

Interesting, I already went to school. I see this as their business. Its only my problem if they struggle and need tutors.

amother

Gray

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:26 pm

If they’re in high school and they’re getting decent grades I wouldn’t even be keeping track of how much they study. Come to think of it I’d apply that to elementary school too.

I know this isn’t exactly the topic at hand, but I made it all the way through grad school without ever taking my own notes. At some points I did need to study. But note taking was a skill I never needed to develop ever.

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:27 pm

amother Wine wrote:

Interesting, I already went to school. I see this as their business. Its only my problem if they struggle and need tutors.

Could they also stop going and request a transfer to public school?

amother

Wine

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:31 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

Could they also stop going and request a transfer to public school?

My childhood went like this. And we all turned out fine. You can argue that maybe we could have graduated 8th grade as valedictorian. But by the time we all finished college we were doing it for ourselves. I'm all for encouraging to reach their potential, helping when requested, offering support, but what do you gain by managing them? It only delays self actualization. And the cost of doing less well is really negligible. At some point intrinsic motivation needs to kick in and children need ownership.

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:37 pm

amother Wine wrote:

I don't see parental management in this thread.

amother

Gray

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:43 pm

Ideally all tests should be given without anyone studying, that’s how you can gauge what the students actually learned and digested. I think I would say 90, that sounds like a good cutoff. If their grades slip below that I’d start to investigate. It’s a good thing to let a child take ownership of how much they feel they need to study. It’s really okay to go through school having mastered 90% of the material, remember we’re talking about real mastery here because it was done without studying. It’s when they study that you need to worry it’s going in one ear and out the other as soon as the test is over.

Optione

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 5:08 pm

School is long and hard. I wouldn't push studying if they're at least getting 85%. While it's true that they could do better, it's not worth it to have the tension of requiring them to study.