Do you feel the kedusha?

amother

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 6:55 pm

Can you share if you feel the kedusha of the Chanukah lecht, and if so what does it feel like?

I know it’s such a holy time and holy lights but I can’t feel anything…

GrowingUp

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 7:44 pm

I do, but for me it takes a conscious decision to feel it.

Hard to explain. When we light, and the kids are around, and I’m trying to keep my two year old from touching the menorah, then no I don’t feel anything.

At 9:30 when the kids are all in bed, and the house is clean, I love sitting in front of the menorahs. My husband purposely uses a lot of oil so the fire lasts for a few hours.

Trust me, I’m no Rebbetzin, but I love grabbing a tehillim from the bookshelf, getting a cozy blanket and just sitting there. There’s just something pulling me to just sit there and feel and think. But yes, I have to consciously put myself in the mode where I can feel it.

amother

Petunia

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 7:48 pm

Having the feelings we want is not something we can always control. Make the most of the time by saying tehillim.
If it is meant for you to feel then the feelings will come on it’s own.
Wishing you a lechtige chanuka!!

amother

Offwhite

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 7:59 pm

Not at all. I dont even sit and daven. Tonight my 2 year old was coughing and telling me she wanted to go to bed. My husband was taking his time as usual (he has ADHD and is extremely slow), she was crying hysterically, I snapped at him to please light so I could shower her and take her to bed. I feel bad about it.

amother

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 9:07 pm

amother Offwhite wrote:

Oy, sorry it was rough for you tonight. And I feel for the other people who said they don’t feel it either.

I feel so sad and I know I’m missing out. It’s not just the Chanukah licht, it’s also other mitzvos and opportunities for kedusha.

I think I’m just not a holy person. Crying

Thisisnotmyreal

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 9:08 pm

It's the awareness that gives the feeling of kedushas. When you focus on the words haneiros hallalu kodesh heim, vein lanu reshus lehistamesh bagel ela lerosan bilvad, it gives you a sense of the holiness of our menorahs.

amother

Oldlace

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 9:12 pm

I felt it Erev Shabbos Chanuka when my DH lit menorah and I lit Shabbos candles . I said my tefillos looking at both sets of lecht.

amother

Lightcoral

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 9:24 pm

I do.

I'm a somewhat lapsed BT, and sadly this is one of the few positive mitzvot that I do.

amother

Brown

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 9:42 pm

amother Brown wrote:

I don't.

I have anxiety and for some reason I'm disconnected from everything, even chanukah. Don't feel anything 😑

amother

Daisy

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 11:45 pm

This year I am trying to keep in mind that Malachim are in the house after lighting menora and it should be a time of praying and simcha (even though I am in a depression). The candles are always beautiful.

amother

White

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 12:06 am

OP,
You are certainly a holy person. You want to want and that’s an important thing.

Daisy and Brown, I learned from Rabanit Yemima Mizrachi that for anyone who wants to daven for mental health/refuas hanefesh- to look at the entirety of Ner, Psil, and Shemen. (Nefesh).
And say Perek 30.

amother

Brown

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 12:12 am

amother White wrote:

Thank you. I'm unfortunately not up to the place where I can daven. But I appreciate it

amother

Mintgreen

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 12:25 am

amother White wrote:

What do you mean look at the entirety of ner

amother

Apricot

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 12:37 am

I really really want to but as much as I try I just don't connect, there's always so much going on and it's hard to reach deep. reminds me of purim when there's so much kedusha but so difficult to tap into it. open to any and all tips.

realsilver

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 1:10 am

kedusha is about being open to it and letting it in. its there all around you but you definiteely have to allow yourself to feel it.

amother

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 8:08 am

amother Daisy wrote:

I didn’t know this. Which malachim are there, and why?

amother

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 8:11 am

amother White wrote:

Thank you for this. I definitely want to want, and it is so painful.

I am also struggling with my mental health so I really appreciate this suggestion. I hope everyone gets healed and has their prayers answered.