Chanuka money for mesivta rebbeim

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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries

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amother

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 7:50 am

Do you continue to give chanuka money through mesivta ? My 11th grader claims he didn’t see anyone else giving . Curious if there is a norm in Lkwd that I’m not aware of ?

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 8:43 am

Wife of rebbe
The boys usually chip in $20 for a gift for the rebbe.
Most additionally give cash/check. (Probably about half the class so far)

amother

Lotus

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 8:44 am

amother Sapphire wrote:

Wife of rebbe
The boys usually chip in $20 for a gift for the rebbe.
Most additionally give cash/check. (Probably about half the class so far)

what's the average amount ?

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 8:50 am

Let others chime in. I’m also curious what is normal.
We got a few crazy large amounts.
For reference, we gave our rebbeim $100. But I wonder if that’s still nice enough.

amother

Linen

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 9:26 am

I gave $18.
I appreciate their work but I can't afford more Crying

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 9:33 am

amother Linen wrote:

I gave $18.
I appreciate their work but I can't afford more Crying

It's not about the amount, it's about the appreciation. A nice card, hand-written with $18 is a lot more appreciated than $100 squished into an envelope. Anyone in chinuch is not in it for the money. Appreciation goes a long way.
Signed
A fellow not-so-well-to-do mom

amother

Blush

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 10:04 am

Another Rebbi's wife here.
To the amother who gave the rebbi $18, please dont feel bad! THats a nice gift!
My husband gets gifts from about half of his class. Ranging from a cocoa bomb, fresh donuts or cupcakes, to checks for $18- $100.
This year he got altogether $320 which is so helpful. But its the letters of appreciation that count!

I can never understand the posts that say they give big amounts of money to the Rebbi, because my husband never gets big amounts. Big OOT US city for reference.

I give my sons rebbeim either $25 or $36 usually.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 10:18 am

To oot rebbe wife, this post is in Lakewood section.
I think Lakewood gifting has gotten TOTALLY INSANE AND OUT OF HAND but that’s probably the difference.
Forsure, there are no expectations from the rebbe and no one should feel ANY pressure to give anything that’s hard for them. It’s sad that people are feeling pressure.

It didn’t sound from the op that she wanted to know the acceptable minimum.
She wanted to know if mesivta boys in Lakewood still give rebbeim $ and what’s the average amount.

Cheiny

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 11:50 am

amother Sapphire wrote:

Let others chime in. I’m also curious what is normal.
We got a few crazy large amounts.

For reference, we gave our rebbeim $100. But I wonder if that’s still nice enough.

We did same. I don’t think any Rebbe would mind getting cash… although at times we’ve given nice sized gift certificates as well…

Cheiny

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 11:55 am

amother Blush wrote:

I definitely think it should be according to what a parent can comfortably afford. A smaller gift from the heart is just as valuable and appreciated (or at least it should be, unlike someone in a thread here who complained she hadn’t gotten gifts yet, before Chanukah had even started! And also those who claimed you must “bribe” your kids’ teachers Rolling Eyes

) by the recipient.

The main thing is showing gratitude. Every worker, every service provider, and I’m sure Rebbeim as well, no matter the capacity, want to feel acknowledged and appreciate for the care, time and effort they put into their positions.

Rebbeim are known not to earn great salaries so I believe that parents who can afford it should show their gratitude with a larger gift.

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 12:00 pm

Rabbeim usually can't make it on their salaries alone. Most have a hard time even with their additional part time jobs.
If you can afford to give tzedaka, giving your sons rebbi chanuka gelt is a beautiful way of showing hakaras hatov.

amother

Petunia

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:23 pm

We live in bp and this yr we are struggling so I wrote a letter with personal points of what my sons enjoy in class and 50. I know that’s nothing compared to most of the school but it’s all we were able to afford. Haven’t gotten a thank you form anyone so I hope it wasn’t a slap in the face type of tip. Hopefully Purim we’ll be able to give more.

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:34 pm

My husband appreciates every and anything that he gets. It really gives him chizuk and makes him happy. So please send if you’d like, whatever you want and can afford. As the wife, all gifts are welcomed. Cash is especially welcomed because we don’t earn enough in the field of chinuch to give our growing family all the things we’d like to.

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:35 pm

Deleted double post

amother

Brass

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:37 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

Unfortunately, this is not true for so many rabbeim.

amother

Brass

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:38 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

$50 is a very generous amount.

amother

Brass

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:40 pm

amother Blush wrote:

Unfortunately, tips & gifts for Rabbeim and teachers, have gotten so out of hand in Non OOT communities, it's crazy.

amother

Mint

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 2:41 pm

My father mesivta rebbe for 40 years bklyn. He always returns cash gifts any time of year, with a note, but accepts actual gifts or sefarim. Something he took on years ago and never went back on it. My mother would love if he kept the money but respects his position. I think it's very chashuv although I fully understand those who do . Is he the only one?

amother

Snowdrop

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 2:45 pm

I wish I could give but I don’t have an extra dime this year. I will send a thank you note after Chanuka to each of the rebbeim. . My DS told me that nobody gives , but I think he just doesn’t see or know. He’s in a Lakewood yeshiva but we are not from Lakewood.

small bean

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 2:51 pm

We weren't sure, my son says some boys gave, probably half the class. We gave.

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