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-> Children's Health
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Jan 17 2024, 5:07 pm
my three year old boy lovely, sensative, tons of personality and bursting with emotions... is physically agressive since he was very young. hitting myself and all family members. Don't think it's learnt and copying behaivor from surrounding cause I think he was the one to teach his slightly older siblings how to fight... when he is upset or angry of course, but also many times just random hitting, scrtatching, punching, kicking when getting dressed. with me as well. while shmoozing cuddling.. when he's excited...he can random hit, bang..sometimes it even seems out of love...he knows its hurting cause we tell him, we say ouch! pls stop...brother cries and he himself when getting hit by others, cries really hard. funny part he can't handle and feels very bad when brother cries...AND EVEN WATCHED HIM DOING IT TO FRIENDS RELATIVES WHO CAME OVER. physical for no good reason. not non stop all day, just a hit, a scratch, a bang with a closed fist...tried diff type of consequences for being physically hurting to others, but always felt not fair cause he is so so sensative, is so hurt why he's punished and then will happen again even though he so doesn't want to be punished again. so that makes me wonder maybe it's a sensory seeking thing and he can't control his strong need to ... can't resist....like almost happening on it's own without him choosing to do so...
other things made me think this is a sensory issue
loves cuddles, and form of touch more than the typical
falls asleep with mommys hand in his, rubs his face head feet on my hand when falling asleep
loves to spill
loves playing with water
loves to pull off socks and take off shoes to be barefoot
cant get anything into his hair TOUCH OR COMB just a cllip okay but will alwqys take out eventualy
hates short sleeves, pants or rolled up sleeves
but loves his coat, its cozy from inside
is a very sensitive child, will lay down flat on floor head down for something as simple as a no for a candy. cries AND GETS UPSET easily
takes things very personal
wont try on new outfit that still has tag
what does this sound like?
what can I do to stop him being so pyhsically agressive to others?
all advice appreciated!
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naomi2
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 8:28 pm
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Do you or your husband potch?
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amother
Garnet
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 8:32 pm
It sounds reasonable to assume it might be sensory related.
Can you give him lots of positive sensory opportunities? There's lots of info online.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 10:05 pm
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thanks for responding, but no we don't.
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amother
Stoneblue
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 10:12 pm
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Please read the book The Highly Sensitive Child. It is extremely eye opening to why these types of children are both sensory and sensitive souls!! It has helped me so much and my extremely sensory and sensitive toddler is really thriving now
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amother
Snapdragon
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 10:17 pm
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Definitely sensory related! I’ve been following these sisters for a while and just signed up for the course: https://handsonapproaches.com/.....ory/. My friend (who’s an ot) raved about it and send they share a ton of practical information.
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amother
Lemonchiffon
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 10:20 pm
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MomTH
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 10:22 pm
An OT here. What you’re describing for your son sounds like a pattern of both sensory seeking and sensory sensitivity behaviors. Meaning for some types of sensory stimuli your son can tolerate a lot of input or will seek out the input and for other types of sensory stimuli he has a low threshold and will withdraw or try to avoid it.
I’m curious, is your son the type who loves movement, will engage in risk taking behavior, seems unaware of body movements sometimes? I’m trying to figure out which type of sensory information he has trouble processing.
You’re welcome to pm me if you want for more detail, I can also continue answering on this post.
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#BestBubby
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 10:37 pm
Kids do not have to be "taught" to hit.
That is a fake expert myth.
Kids are born to instinctively hit, kick, scratch when angry. Some kids more than others.
Kids have to be taught NOT to hit,
To use their words, tell an adult, etc.
Role play with mentchies what to do when upset.
There are picture books about managing anger.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jan 17 2024, 11:58 pm
| amother Stoneblue wrote: | | Please read the book The Highly Sensitive Child. It is extremely eye opening to why these types of children are both sensory and sensitive souls!! It has helped me so much and my extremely sensory and sensitive toddler is really thriving now |
thanks! will definitely order!
do you feel this book was covering it all to get him thriving?
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alef beis
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 7:54 am
would you think so even if he was hitting from when he was really young? like I remember him nursing and hitting with out being upset... just because....
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amother
Crystal
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 7:57 am
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For SURE get him to a good OT. This is what they deal with.
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alef beis
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:01 am
| #BestBubby wrote: | Kids do not have to be "taught" to hit.
That is a fake expert myth.
Kids are born to instinctively hit, kick, scratch when angry. Some kids more than others.
Kids have to be taught NOT to hit,
To use their words, tell an adult, etc.
Role play with mentchies what to do when upset.
There are picture books about managing anger. |
thought so too. but what if all the teaching, preaching and role playing of how to tell and adult and use words don't do much and the physical attacking is still present? like even if I'm right next to him and starting to deal with the situation as to why he is upset now... he has to give it out of himself by hitting or scratching. it physically calms him from his anger!
also, as I have mentioned before it also occurs random... while playing nicely, having a good time...
he will make a nice stick of clicks and use it to hit not even with the intention of getting u hurt...
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:16 am
| MomTH wrote: | An OT here. What you’re describing for your son sounds like a pattern of both sensory seeking and sensory sensitivity behaviors. Meaning for some types of sensory stimuli your son can tolerate a lot of input or will seek out the input and for other types of sensory stimuli he has a low threshold and will withdraw or try to avoid it.
I’m curious, is your son the type who loves movement, will engage in risk taking behavior, seems unaware of body movements sometimes? I’m trying to figure out which type of sensory information he has trouble processing.
You’re welcome to pm me if you want for more detail, I can also continue answering on this post. |
thanks for responding. I was actually wanting to hear from an ot if its about me providing him with more activities to calm his sensory needs and this will actually turn him into a calmer child and put an end to his aggresiveness or does he need a good ot to see him?
he loves to jump run around and sing. he can't sit through a meal from a very young age and will say he's finish even though he barely ate cuz he needs to go play run...
loves funny stuff. not sure about risk type of behavior though. he's the type to need security and be afraid of strangers, doesn't want me to leave him behind when I have a simcha.. and is pretty much yes afraid and scared of many things. he enjoys banging toys and making noises...
what would unaware of body movement look like?
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:19 am
| amother Crystal wrote: | | For SURE get him to a good OT. This is what they deal with. |
thanks for your response. are you advising based upon knowledge or experience? like did u see improvement in a child from taking him to OT?
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amother
Chambray
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:35 am
Experienced Mommy here -
Some kids are just more aggressive by nature. He's so little, just three years old, I wouldn't make a huge deal of it.
You can try OT/sensory therapy, but IME its six of one, half a dozen of the other, I'm not sure if it was the therapy that helped or just growing up.
You can provide a lot of sensory activities - playground, a pool of balls, play dough etc and also you can try giving him more attention if hes tense and needs to calm down...
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amother
Anemone
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:22 am
Op, I think you forgot to post anon on one of your posts. Anyway, someone mentioned a brain thing and you said would you still think so if he started when he was really young, hitting when nursing and happy for no reason?
I'm not a professional but I would say kal vachomer. Then it's much less likely to be learned or psychological and much more innate. My friend whose son has extremely high functioning asd/adhd used to head bang as a baby in his crib. He wasn't diagnosed until years later after he struggled in school for a while.
My niece who has high functioning asd didn't head bang but she showed other signs from when she was an infant. She started getting treatment from before she was 3 and it helped her like you can't imagine.
I agree with that poster, and I'm NOT saying it's asd either. You need to get him to a professional if you think that his behavior is interfering with his life. But whatever he has, it seems like it makes sense that he was born with it, and usually, the quicker these things are addressed the more helpful they are in the long run.
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amother
Magenta
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:27 am
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Some kids just have more energy. Had a kid who was very aggressive, when he got a little older we taught him to exercise in the morning which really helped. He also goes running sometimes when he feels especially deregulated.
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amother
Lemonchiffon
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:49 am
| alef beis wrote: | | would you think so even if he was hitting from when he was really young? like I remember him nursing and hitting with out being upset... just because.... | Yes.
Does he have any gi issues?
Lots of antibiotics?
Aggression has been linked to clostridia overgrowth in the gut.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:55 am
| amother Lemonchiffon wrote: | Yes.
Does he have any gi issues?
Lots of antibiotics?
Aggression has been linked to clostridia overgrowth in the gut. |
don't think he ever had antibiotic in his life.
oh maybe yes. when he was born he was in the nicu from day 2 for approx 5 days his breathing wasnt 100 percent okay. dctrs didnt know what it was dont recall but maybe he had antibiotics then
no gi issues im aware of. what r indications of gi issues?
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